6 steps to get over a break up (with the relationship expert)

Did you know December 11 is the most popular day of the year for breakups?

As we approach the annual break up day and the holiday season, Lindsay sits down with relationship expert, Jill Simpson, to discuss six steps to get through a break up.

Learn more about Jill’s online relationship course as well as her at-home Relationship Refresh kit (a great gift for couples) available on Amazon.

Step 1: Don’t try to wrap it up in a bow Step 2: Don’t confuse your emotions Step 3: Don’t fall in love with a story Step 4: Don’t fall for the drama, mamma Step 5: Don’t play the ex game Step 6: Don’t waste your Big Break Up Energy

If you enjoy this episode, listen to Secrets of a Relationship Expert with Jill and Trisha. Or, watch the episode on YouTube.

More advice from my book, Overthinking in Your Underwear .

Check yourself before you reject yourself

Look at your lessons from the relationship. List them now on your piece of paper.

Give gratitude for your lessons, whether good or bad. Do this through writing, meditation, or bringing them to mind.

Clear your conscience. Apologize to your ex if you need to. Do NOT apologize if it’s not necessary.

Cut off communication at least for a while. This means social media, text, and physically.

Amp your self-worth through meditation, affirmations, and surrounding yourself with people and friends who know and affirm your value.

Live with your emotions about the breakup and let it go. Don’t sink into the spectacle of the ending. Tell your friends and YOURSELF you’re done talking about it. Process it and proceed.

If friendship is in your future, get real with yourself about your intentions before reaching out to your ex and accepting them back into your life.

Releasing relationships or unhealthy patterns (a meditation)

Below is a meditation for releasing old patterns, whether it’s a relationship, problematic behavior, or a failure. Use it for any situation you want to pick up, put down, and leave in the past. Try it. Then, try it again. And the next day. You’ll be surprised what you can put behind you when you actively decide to detach from it.

Find a quiet meditation space. Sit or lie down, eyes closed. Let yourself ease into the moment for a few minutes. Picture a space of calm, peace, and warmth. See your self-worth tank burning bright in the center of your belly. It’s hot, bubbly, and glowing with self-love. Give it a color that has meaning to you (gold, blue, red, orange, purple). Your self-worth projects out into the Universe and the image in your mind is warm, colorful, and radiant. Stay here for a few moments as your body fills with the light and heat generated by your self-worth.

Next, bring forward what you’d like to work through or release. Let’s say it’s a relationship. Picture the person or something that represents that person. (For instance, an object the person gave you during the relationship.) In front of you is a vault-like door, thick and almost impossible to open. On the door is a large wheel, heavy and rusted over from time.

You walk to the door and turn the wheel. It takes effort to move, but eventually, it clicks into place, and you open the door. The person you are releasing walks through the door, and you shut it behind them with a loud THUD. Again, you painstakingly turn the wheel and it locks into place and latches shut. You walk back to your space of light and warmth and sit down. The relationship is locked in the past. Gone from your present. Shut off from your thinking.

Walk back to your place of peace and sit down. Focus on your self-worth tank, and see it rise with newly unburdened self-worth. Stay here in this place of peace and warmth for as long as you find pleasing, sinking into the new feeling of lightness and ease. Come out of your mediation and back into your day when you are ready.

DISCLAIMER: Please know that the information shared in this episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and not considered therapy or counseling. This is not intended to be a substitute for medical advice or treatment. If you feel you are in need of therapy at this time, please seek out a counselor in your area.

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