My Wife Got a Breast Reduction and I’m No Longer Attracted to Her. Porn is My Escape.
12/22/21 • 31 min
Dr. Rob and Tami talk about how to find intimacy again after being married to your partner for more than 30 years. They also share their thoughts on impatient programs and why an addict might come back worse than they were before. As a betrayed partner, there’s nothing wrong with loving someone who’s broken.
TAKEAWAYS:
[0:35] I got an STI from my cheating husband. There’s been very little change in his behavior. Should I stay or should I go?
[6:05] You love someone that’s broken. There’s nothing wrong with you.
[7:10] Is having a sex or love addict sponsor necessary for recovery or can any sponsor be good for me?
[10:40] My partner has returned from an impatient program and has broken several of my boundaries already. I feel like he’s gotten worse. What should I do?
[12:50] Recovery is not about stopping your addiction, it’s about relearning a whole new way of living.
[16:25] People’s lives can change if they want it! You get what you put into it.
[19:45] I have been married for 33 years and have replaced my wife with porn. How do I reconnect again?
[26:00] Sexual sobriety means rediscovering your partner again, instead of trying to change them to fit your desires.
RESOURCES:
Email Tami: [email protected]
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss
Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss
Dr. Rob and Tami talk about how to find intimacy again after being married to your partner for more than 30 years. They also share their thoughts on impatient programs and why an addict might come back worse than they were before. As a betrayed partner, there’s nothing wrong with loving someone who’s broken.
TAKEAWAYS:
[0:35] I got an STI from my cheating husband. There’s been very little change in his behavior. Should I stay or should I go?
[6:05] You love someone that’s broken. There’s nothing wrong with you.
[7:10] Is having a sex or love addict sponsor necessary for recovery or can any sponsor be good for me?
[10:40] My partner has returned from an impatient program and has broken several of my boundaries already. I feel like he’s gotten worse. What should I do?
[12:50] Recovery is not about stopping your addiction, it’s about relearning a whole new way of living.
[16:25] People’s lives can change if they want it! You get what you put into it.
[19:45] I have been married for 33 years and have replaced my wife with porn. How do I reconnect again?
[26:00] Sexual sobriety means rediscovering your partner again, instead of trying to change them to fit your desires.
RESOURCES:
Email Tami: [email protected]
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss
Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss
Previous Episode
I Keep Relapsing and I Keep Playing the Victim, How Do I Stop?
Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from someone in recovery who can’t stop himself from relapsing. He has been to outpatient help, and he’s in the process of losing his job and family, yet he can’t seem to stop. How can he really get the help he needs if he keeps reverting back to ‘default’? Dr. Rob and Tami share their tough love and also answer questions on how to stay in integrity and truthfulness, and how to set healthy boundaries with yourself.
TAKEAWAYS:
[0:25] How do I be more honest? I’m so used to being anxious.
[3:55] I just found out the disclosure was not complete. Where do I go from here?
[11:20] My SA says it’s too early to do a disclosure, and he still wants sex. What should I do?
[18:50] If you’re not sure who your partner has been with, please please get an STD test. The both of you!
[20:25] Why do I keep relapsing? I keep playing the victim very well.
[24:20] Despite messing up your life in several ways, there is a way out.
[26:45] I have a problem. Where do I go from here?
RESOURCES:
Email Tami: [email protected]
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss
Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss
Next Episode
How Do I Date Sober as a Sex Addict?
Dr. Rob and Tami walk you through the steps you need to take to have healthy boundaries as a sex or love addict that’s going through the dating process. They also explain what intimacy looks like, and how you know you’re picking an open and healthy partner for you as you go through sober dating. Dr. Rob also shares when it’s a good idea to reveal to your new partner that you’re an addict in this week’s episode.
TAKEAWAYS:
[0:35] 22 months into recovery, what should I expect as a partner?
[4:50] As a betrayed partner, what’s the connection between relationships and sex addiction?
[9:00] I am starting to date sober and have healthy boundaries. When is it a good time to have sex in a relationship?
[14:40] Dr. Rob shares what healthy sex looks like as a sex addict.
[17:50] How do you know if you’re dating the right person?
[20:50] Should I fully disclose to a new partner that I’m an addict?
[22:50] I’ve contradicted 3 STDs from my partner. Why wouldn’t he wear protection to cover up his infidelity?
[25:00] When we’re activating acting out our addictions, we’re not thinking about safety.
RESOURCES:
Email Tami: [email protected]
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss
Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss
If you like this episode you’ll love
Episode Comments
Generate a badge
Get a badge for your website that links back to this episode
<a href="https://goodpods.com/podcasts/overcoming-betrayal-and-addiction-286960/my-wife-got-a-breast-reduction-and-im-no-longer-attracted-to-her-porn-36726699"> <img src="https://storage.googleapis.com/goodpods-images-bucket/badges/generic-badge-1.svg" alt="listen to my wife got a breast reduction and i’m no longer attracted to her. porn is my escape. on goodpods" style="width: 225px" /> </a>
Copy