Embracing Authenticity: Overcoming Challenges in the LGBTQ+ Community with Mandoh

Explicit content warning

06/14/23 • 50 min

You can only be who you are in this world; at some point, you must face that reality. Sounds simple enough, but when you’re a gay man and son of immigrants who see living in this country as evidence of sacrifice, being who you are can be challenging, to say the least.

“When I go there and everybody was shopping and doing all these other things, I was like I had no idea because that was never a part of my world.” – Mandoh

My guest today is celebrity stylist Mandoh Melendez. His style is unmistakable, but his road, the one he travels daily being an openly gay Hispanic male is filled with challenges. Today, we’ll discuss growing up in poverty, overcoming drug addictions, the uniqueness of his style, and the daily battles he faces with acceptance.

“I showed up to a space and realized, I had never experienced something like this.” – Mandoh

His story is one of inspiration and persistence that will resonate with you regardless of your sexual orientation. The willingness to be transparent while never missing an opportunity to grow are admirable qualities. They’re also qualities that Mandoh truly embodies while graciously allowing them to shape his life.

“I came out at 21, but I knew I was gay at age 3.” – Mandoh

In This Episode

(1:24) – The infamous face regimen is reviewed.
(4:58) – The mall experience taught Mandoh about poverty.
(7:08) – Exploring the different types of gay in America.
(8:55) – Fear of homosexuality and immigrant parents.
(11:54) – Family rejection leads to drug use.
(12:09)- Mandoh reveals being molested by a family member.
(12:30) – His mind becomes his escape from the cruelties he faces.
(14:00) – Depression enters his life.
(16:28) – Mandoh hits rock bottom.
(17:40) – Losing control and accepting his broken life.
(19:00) – When everybody loves you, but you hate you.
(20:05) – Being impoverished taught him how to style.
(31:45) – The importance of stopping to smell the roses.
(33:51) – The exhausting existence of living gay.
(39:00) – The ingenuity of low-income fashion.
(45:14) – A sense of humor is required.

Our Guest

Mandoh is a trailblazer, in fashion and life. As an openly gay man of color, he bravely traverses the world making connections, stylishly influencing lives, and spreading his personal message of owning your space and being unapologetic in the process. He’s a highly sought-after stylist whose undeniable imprint is fast becoming one of the most unmistakable looks on the fashion scene today.

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Mandoh

“When I go there and everybody was shopping and doing all these other things, I was like I had no idea because that was never a part of my world.” – Mandoh

“I showed up to a space and realized, I had never experienced something like this.” – Mandoh

“I came out at 21, but I knew I was gay at age 3.” – Mandoh

In This Episode

(1:24) – The infamous face regimen is reviewed.
(4:58) – The mall experience taught Mandoh about poverty.
(7:08) – Exploring the different types of gay in America.
(8:55) – Fear of homosexuality and immigrant parents.
(11:54) – Family rejection leads to drug use.
(12:09)- Mandoh reveals being molested by a family member.
(12:30) – His mind becomes his escape from the cruelties he faces.
(14:00) – Depression enters his life.
(16:28) – Mandoh hits rock bottom.
(17:40) – Losing control and accepting his broken life.
(19:00) – When everybody loves you, but you hate you.
(20:05) – Being impoverished taught him how to style.
(31:45) – The importance of stopping to smell the roses.
(33:51) – The exhausting existence of living gay.
(39:00) – The ingenuity of low-income fashion.
(45:14) – A sense of humor is required.

Our Guest

Resources & Links

Off The Cuff

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter for free! - https://otcpodcast.beehiiv.com/
https://www.offthecuff.fm/
https://www.youtube.com/c/OffTheCuffwithDannyLoPriore
https://www.instagram.com/1and1otc/
https://www.instagram.com/dannylopriore/
https://www.tiktok.com/@1and1otc

Mandoh

Previous Episode

Psychopaths, Brain Trauma and Therapy with Dr. Judy Ho

Few people have as much hands-on experience with the many sides of mental health work as today’s guest, Dr. Judy Ho.

As a triple-board certified clinical and forensic neuropsychologist, Dr. Ho has evaluated maximum security prison inmates, served as an expert witness in criminal trials, works as a tenured associate professor at Pepperdine University – and goes to therapy herself.

In this episode, Dr. Ho shares about emigrating from Taiwan as a child, the differences between men’s and women’s love styles, why people settle in relationships, and the challenges of working in the criminal justice system as a woman.

“My supervisors [were] like, ‘Why do you wanna be an expert witness in criminal cases?’ I'm like, ‘Well, I think it's interesting. And I think I can help.’ And one of my supervisors who is a woman was like, ‘Take it from somebody who worked there for five years in the beginning of my career – it is not a walk in the park.’ But it's never a comfortable environment. Sometimes it's a maximum security prison and it's really tough. You have to be escorted everywhere, including to the bathroom. All of your liberties are taken away, at least temporarily. And I'm not saying that that's anywhere near the liberties that [the inmates] lose, but it's like even just that tiny taste of it is [difficult].” – Dr. Ho (20:42)

Dr. Ho also talks about the benefits of therapy for everybody, and why she receives counseling herself as a mental health practitioner.

“Some of my clients say, ‘Well, I don't feel like I need therapy. I don't know why I'm here.’ You know what? Everybody needs therapy, probably. It might not be everybody's cup of tea, but I hope that it's not because you feel like there has to be something majorly wrong with you to go to therapy, you know?” – Dr. Ho (37:29)

In This Episode

(02:05) The education required in order to be triple-board certified
(05:07) Humor as a healing tool
(11:22) Dr. Ho’s experience as an expert witness in the judicial system
(17:09) The ups and downs of evaluating maximum security prison inmates
(21:24) How the Big Sister Little Sister program shaped Dr. Ho’s passion for psychology
(23:57) The link between brain trauma, aging and psychology
(27:43) Emigrating from Taiwan and adapting to the American school system
(37:29) Why Dr. Ho goes to therapy as a mental health professional
(41:49) Why people settle in relationships
(43:45) The differences between men’s and women’s love styles
(49:14) Dr. Ho’s experience working with multicultural, same-sex and gender-diverse couples

Our Guest

Dr. Judy Ho is a licensed and triple board-certified clinical and forensic neuropsychologist. She is also a tenured associate professor at Pepperdine University and the author of “Stop Self-Sabotage: Six Steps to Unlock Your True Motivation, Harness Your Willpower and Get Out of Your Own Way.”

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Off The Cuff

Dr. Judy Ho

Next Episode

Beyond The Wire: The Path to Greatness with Tristan Mack Wilds

The Wire is considered by many to be the greatest television series in history. For 5 seasons, it kept viewers from a broad cross-section locked in and watching every move the complex characters made ... including Michael, a role played by my guest today, the one and only Tristan Mack Wilds!

He’s a native New Yorker and a man who wears many hats and each time he graces the screen, mic, or stage, your eyes can’t help but gravitate toward his supreme talents. In today’s episode, we go deep inside The Wire, to find out how the show pushed him to become a better entertainer and helped set the stage for the next phase of his career.

“I don’t think I’ve ever, or I haven’t yet been fully satisfied with where I am or what I’m doing.” - Tristan

He’s a husband and a father and a man who understands that none of us are perfect, but inside those imperfections ... we only have one life to live ... so get busy living it. He’s Tristan Mack Wilds, a man who wants it all ... and he’s not afraid to go for it!

“Those uncomfortable positions are where actual growth happens and you can’t grow unless you’re comfortable in those uncomfortable situations.” - Tristan

In This Episode

(2:32)- Tristan opens up and discusses how he stays motivated following his role on “The Wire.”
(4:15) – Tristan introduces us to the perfectionist that lives within
(5:40) - The Wire: A crossover masterpiece as people from all walks loved, and still love the show.
(10:50) – How Tristan managed Michaels’ trauma on “The Wire”.
(16:40) – “The Wire” was art imitating life.
(20:00) – The writing, timing, and authenticity of the writing on “The Wire” was pure genius. .
(28:00) – There were no special effects in “The Wire” ...it was just hood!
(29:28) – Danny and Tristan ponder that the show's most feared character was gay.
(31:02) – Tristan tells how he loves writing that respects the intelligence of the audience.
(34:29) – You’ve only got one life ... do it all!
(35:26) – Danny touches on the value of Exposure Therapy.
(37:38) – Tristan wants to protect his daughter from any of his hidden pain.
(39:17) – A man’s world changes when he has a daughter.
(47:42) – Therapy: A life-changing decision for Tristan.
(48:44) – The importance of saying nice things to yourself.

Our Guest

Tristan Mack Wilds is a man of many talents. He’s a record producer, songwriter, singer, and actor. He received critical acclaim for his role as Michael in the groundbreaking HBO series, “The Wire”. Over the years, his career has been a steady ascent into high-profile challenges roles, each proving to be rewarding, helping to shape and mold one of the industry’s premier talents.

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Off The Cuff

Tristan Mack Wilds