Sticky Notes Are The Best Love Notes

08/12/15 • 8 min

Marriage can seem pretty complicated. There are scores of websites, hundreds of books and thousands of research articles. And yet folks -- perhaps even yourselves – are still struggling. Sticky Notes Are Simple Sometimes it’s nice just to back off from all that complexity. Think simple thoughts. Do simple things that make a difference. In this week’s shorter summer episode (still on holidays – yay!) we take a break from our usual research-based programming to remind you that simple still works. In this case, following the theme of using romantic text messages from our previous post, we want you to think about how you can use sticky notes to spice up your marriage. Sticky Notes = Happiness The thought behind this strategy is to engage in small activities that are easy to do but build fondness and admiration into your marriage. You need lots of that. According to Dr. John Gottman we need 5 positive moments for every negative moment in our marriage Sticky notes are an easy way to do that. You can court your spouse with them. You can add some fun to your marriage with them. And you can use them as little sparks to light the fire in your marriage. Generally, life is fairly stressful. You’re likely facing a lot of challenges. But these little moments of positivity create buffers against stress and its impact on your marriage. Romantic Sticky Notes We want you to be intentional about this. Sticky notes are inexpensive but they can add a lot of value to your marriage! You can use them to surprise your spouse. You can use them to remind your spouse. You can stick them anywhere. Try: A lunch bag In his or her vehicle On the mirror in the washroom In the kitchen sink In a purse or briefcase Under the pillow In the underwear drawer Out in the workshop Wondering what to write on them? Well, you don’t have a lot of space so it has got to be meaningful and pithy. How about: Bible verses Words of affirmation and praise Gratitude and appreciation 30 things you love about her (one per note; number them 1/30, 2/30 etc. and hide them all over) Encouragement “I love you!” Suggestive comments. Just because you got married doesn’t mean you need to stop flirting with your spouse! Coupons (“This sticky note is good for one 15 minute massage” is a good start!) Give it a shot. Let us know how it goes!

Previous Episode

50 Romantic Text Messages to Send to Your Spouse

I think that one of the lamest things to do is to break up a relationship by text message. Lame, lame, lame. But you're married now and looking for a way to keep the flame alive, right? So, today as part of our mini-series of short summer episodes we're looking at a redemptive use of text messages: romancing your spouse! Romantic Texts Help You Keep Connected Text messaging works great for this because it is so quick and easy. Not to make it sound cheap. Quite the opposite, actually. Marriage is a big deal. A very big deal. But even the simple, quick tokens of love that can be sent via text message go a long way to creating resilience and positivity in your marriage. And when you shoot a quick, heartfelt text to your wife or husband, it can be really touching because it shows that you are thinking of them. The unprompted spontaneity is heartwarming. Romantic Text Ideas We've got a PDF of great ideas you can download but first, let me give you the general concept. The best text messages are going to be those that come from your own heart in your own words. So here are some general ideas to workaround: Something you appreciate about your spouse How about flirting? or be suggestive? "I love you" out of the blue always hits the mark Gratitude and appreciation. Simple is fine: thank him/her for making your lunch! How about a Bible verse that is encouraging? Share something you just discovered that speaks to a mutual interest Strengthen him/her in some area where you know he/she doubts himself Express your commitment and loyalty How Is This Helping? What this is doing is helping you develop your fondness and admiration system. That system is a core resiliency in thriving marriages that will help you weather the stress and challenges that life throws at you. It also helps buffer you against the conflict that we all experience in our marriages. We'd love to hear from you! What is the most romantic thing your spouse has ever texted you?

Next Episode

Every Couple Needs a Graffiti Tag

Another quick summer episode here as we take a break from our usual programming. And, contrary to what you might assume from the title, we’re not going to ask you to do anything illegal! A Graffiti Tag for Your Marriage Our graffiti tag is simple. It just looks like C+V. But we have fun putting it in different places. We finger-paint it onto dirty windows, in frosty windows, even under our first Ikea kitchen table. Hey, I even emblazoned it on our lawn with herbicide! We don’t spray it on railcars or carve it into picnic tables at the park. It’s really just for us. Why Have a Graffiti Tag? This isn’t just a random idea. I think every couple should have something like this that tells you who you are. To us, this is a symbol of commitment, togetherness, and love. It is a symbol of the bond we cherish. So we stick it different places. Surprise each other with it. It’s a reminder of our commitment to one another. If you think it’s cheesy – that’s fine. But I want to challenge you to think about what you do to remind yourself and your spouse about the bond between you. The wedding rings you wear are great but you get used to them and kinda forget about them, right? So whether you choose to have a graffiti tag or some other symbol between you, choose something that will serve as a reminder down through the years of that bond that you cherish. For us, it’s a touchstone. Lots of things change through the years but C+V is always there. How about for you?