Mother's Quest Podcast - Ep 86: On a Quest for Peace and Reconciliation Parent’s Circle Interview With Parents Circle’s Layla and Robi

Ep 86: On a Quest for Peace and Reconciliation Parent’s Circle Interview With Parents Circle’s Layla and Robi

10/14/21 • 60 min

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I’m honored to share this special episode of the Mother’s Quest Podcast. Thank you for showing up to this important conversation about two mothers and their quest for peace and reconciliation in Palestine and Israel. Thank you for choosing to press play.

If ever there was a year demanding us to "show up" this has been one. From COVID to floods and fires and refugee crises...our consciousness has had a lot to hold. It can be all too easy to shut down. To throw up our hands. And to say "what can I do?"

That question "what can I do?" is one I asked myself during the crisis that unfolded in Palestine and Israel In May of 2021. For days, watching the horrifying headlines, I felt powerless. Then several truths came to me and an intention to find a path to action which I shared in a FB post, like sending a wish to the universe. The very next day, the “guides” I was looking for appeared. In a conversation with my mother, I learned about the Parents Circle, an incredible organization of Palestinians and Israelis who have lost children or family members in the conflict, and instead of turning to revenge, come together to work toward peace and reconciliation.

Soon after, I found myself recording a conversation with Layla Alsheikh, a Palestinian mother originally born in Jordan, who lost her son Qussay at the age of 6 months old. And Robi Damelin, an Israeli mother, originally from South Africa, who lost her adult son David while he was serving in the army.

Although today’s topic is especially heavy - one of loss and tremendous grief, Layla and Robi share their narratives with us for a specific purpose - to help us understand their experience and to support their efforts in bringing Palestinian and Israeli mothers in particular together to work toward change.

Inspired by all they shared with me, the week after we recorded, I began to raise money toward a fund to help them bring together bereaved Palestinian and Israeli mothers of the Parents Circle. Along the way, I’ve been moved by so many mothers who have already contributed. Mothers like Jena Schwartz, who dedicates this episode with a beautiful poem she shares at the end of this conversation. Jena was the first to donate and her powerful words are an invitation to you to say “yes” to this cause.

To date we have raised $5,000, half of the $10,000 goal I set. And we have more to go. Though the height of the crisis in May has receded from the headlines, violence continues in many forms, and the path for peace and reconciliation is needed more than ever.

I ask you to listen with an open heart, to follow the links in the show notes to learn more, to contribute in any amount meaningful to you, and to amplify the voices of Layla, Robi and others like them, mothers closest to this conflict. They are a key to any path forward.

In this episode we talk about:

The experiences of two mothers Robi and Layla - one Israeli and one Palestianian - who lost children in the conflict and turned their grief into a quest for peace and reconciliation.
The tremendous power of listening to bereaved mothers’ stories.
How Robi and Layla each got involved with The Parent’s Circle, an organization of Palestinian and Israelis that brings bereaved parents and family members together in solidarity.
How you can help support the Parent Circle and promote peace and reconciliation among Israeli and Palestinian families.
The importance of not importing the conflict into our own countriesWhy we shouldn’t position ourselves as Pro-Palestinian or Pro-Israeli but Pro- Peace.
How Robi and Layla sustain themselves and find continued hope, even in their loss.
Opportunities to get involved and how we can specifically support the mothers of the Parents Circle to come together.
Poet Jena Schwartz’ powerful poem “The Undefended Heart” and an invitation to contribute.

This episode’s challenge:

Both Layla and Robi challenge us to join them in fighting for peace instead of violence in the following ways:

Contribute to the fund to help them bring together Palestinian and Israeli mothers
Invite representatives of the Parents Circles to your groups, synagogues, churches, mosques and organizations to share their story.
Follow the work of the Parents Circle and participate in their educational and awareness-building opportunities

About Layla:

Layla Alsheikh was born and raised in Jordan. She had a peaceful and normal upbringing and graduated with a degree in accounting and business management. She eventually met her husband in Jordan 1999 and moved to Bethlehem, where her husband lived for the wedding. However, a few years later tragedy struck her life.

In 2002, her 6 months old son, Qussay, became ill and Israeli ...

In this episode we talk about:

The experiences of two mothers Robi and Layla - one Israeli and one Palestianian - who lost children in the conflict and turned their grief into a quest for peace and reconciliation.
The tremendous power of listening to bereaved mothers’ stories.
How Robi and Layla each got involved with The Parent’s Circle, an organization of Palestinian and Israelis that brings bereaved parents and family members together in solidarity.
How you can help support the Parent Circle and promote peace and reconciliation among Israeli and Palestinian families.
The importance of not importing the conflict into our own countriesWhy we shouldn’t position ourselves as Pro-Palestinian or Pro-Israeli but Pro- Peace.
How Robi and Layla sustain themselves and find continued hope, even in their loss.
Opportunities to get involved and how we can specifically support the mothers of the Parents Circle to come together.
Poet Jena Schwartz’ powerful poem “The Undefended Heart” and an invitation to contribute.

This episode’s challenge:

Both Layla and Robi challenge us to join them in fighting for peace instead of violence in the following ways:

Contribute to the fund to help them bring together Palestinian and Israeli mothers
Invite representatives of the Parents Circles to your groups, synagogues, churches, mosques and organizations to share their story.
Follow the work of the Parents Circle and participate in their educational and awareness-building opportunities

About Layla:

In 2002, her 6 months old son, Qussay, became ill and Israeli ...

Previous Episode

Ep 85: Right Livelihood, Magic, and Meaning with Lindsay Pera of the Modern Mystics Institute

I’m honored to share this special episode with a woman who has been an incredible source of wisdom, support, and guidance in my life, a mentor and teacher who has helped me claim the “mystic” in me, Lindsay Pera. Lindsay and I connected in a magical way at a group dinner in San Francisco about four years ago. Though she was seated at the other end of a long table, she came up to me before the evening ended to say “I have this feeling I’m supposed to talk with you!” We had a delightful conversation and parted ways. But several months later, when my youngest son Jacob received a Lyme disease diagnosis, I searched in one of my Facebook groups for someone who had experience with the disease, and Lindsay’s name popped up again and again. I reached out to her for guidance and after an almost two-hour phone conversation, I learned about how she discovered she had chronic Lyme disease and had passed it along in utero to two of her children. I hung up with tremendous admiration for her motherhood journey, a plan of action to navigate Jacob’s care, and also knowing that Lindsay would become a trusted resource in my life. Blending strategy honed from her career as an analyst at Accenture with her intuition as the founder of a new paradigm business called the Modern Mystics Institute, Lindsay is a source of inspiration and guidance for so many others like me. We all benefit from transformational courses she has created like the Journey to Right Livelihood which you’ll hear more about, her books the Mystics Path and the Mystics Almanac, the Mystics Oracle Deck she created with her partner Sarah Love and her membership community, the Mystics Society. The idea that we can care for ourselves and the children in our lives, even through significant health and developmental challenges, and do work we love, blending all the parts of who we are, stepping into our leadership and legacy, and finding magic and gratitude along the way, is something Lindsay demonstrates herself. And she illuminates it all for us in this conversation. From her decision to move her family to a multigenerational homestead and creating the Modern Mystics Institute, to how she’s navigated having chronic Lyme and now long-haul COVID, this discussion is a beautiful weaving of all the ways Lindsay slows down in her life to manifest and notice what she’s grateful for, even when things are difficult. Her gratitude practice, which she started in a “spark moment” when she found beauty in the sunset during one of her darkest days, begins its 11th year of 365 days just as this episode is being shared.I was so grateful for this time with Lindsay. I hope you’ll find time to slow down and listen to this beautiful conversation, so you can find strands of what Lindsay shares that are meant for you, and that help you weave some new magic and meaning in your E.P.I.C. life.

Connect with Lindsay

Lindsay’s Bio

Lindsay's corporate career encompasses management consulting, financial services, and technology. She began her career as an analyst in Accenture’s technology strategy practice and then transitioned to a $2 billion insurance company to help drive pivotal IT transformation. In 2004 she left Silicon Valley and moved with her family to a beautiful multi-generational homestead on the Central Coast of California.

Lindsay wants to live in a world where appreciation flows freely, kids play outdoors and lemons are in season year round. As a Mystic mama, tech entrepreneur and intuitive strategist she's a sought after contributor and motivator on all topics health, wealth and transformation.

When she is not extolling the virtues of “Sacred Commerce” or “Resonance” based business, you can find her knocking almonds and generally getting her gratitude on.

Lindsay's new paradigm business community, The Mystic’s Society, is a safe haven for entrepreneurs weaving magic into their *work* in the world. It is her passion to direct resources into the hands of entrepreneurs, creatives, and world changers.

Find out more about Lindsay's private consulting at Lindsaypera.com or join in the magic at MysticSociety.com.

This episode is dedicated by: Selina Davis

Selina Davis is the founder of Trillium Consultancy and Spectrum Mother, both of which are emerging communities dedicated to connecting caregivers virtually in respite and retreat offerings, as well as training and supporting parents to become advocates.

Selina is a cis-gendered woman, a woman of color, mother, social justice advocate, and former social services clerical a...

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Ep 87: Embracing Neurodiversity and Being an Adult with Julie Lythcott-Haims and Ryan Neale

I’m excited to welcome you to a special episode of the Mother’s Quest Podcast that I am extremely grateful for, just in time for Thanksgiving, featuring the amazing Julie Lythcott-Haims and my 17-year-old son Ryan Neale.

Julie is an incredible mother to two, a former Stanford Dean and New York Times bestselling author of the anti-helicopter parenting manifesto How to Raise an Adult, which gave rise to a TED Talk that has more than 5 million views. Her second book is the critically-acclaimed and award-winning prose poetry memoir Real American, which illustrates her experience as a Black and biracial person in white spaces. I’m so fortunate to have had the opportunity to interview Julie for the podcast several years ago when that book was first released.

When I heard about Julie’s new book Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, I knew I wanted to invite her back to the podcast again. And, I hoped that my son Ryan, on the threshold of adulthood himself, would join us in the conversation. The stars aligned and Ryan was available the day of the interview, enabling Julie, Ryan, and I to explore the concepts of her book, about navigating adulthood and embracing our differences, especially our neurodiversity, in deeply personal and relevant ways.

In this episode, I’m also excited to share a dedication from Deborah Reber, former podcast guest, fellow mother on a quest, and host of the TiLT Parenting Podcast.Deborah’s heart-felt dedication honors Julie and other mothers raising neurodivergent children. I could not agree more with Deborah’s assessment about what an exceptional human Julie is, about the power of Julie’s commitment to put the stories of a diverse group of young people with different identities on the pages of her book, and about the impact of Julie’s work for normalizing and honoring differences.

As you hear our conversation unfold, I know you’ll be as struck as I was by Julie’s wisdom and humility as she talks with Ryan, helping him to understand that he deserves to be cherished for who he is, that he can approach things like writing in ways that work for his differently-wired mind, and that he can seek out environments, like college, that enables him to play to his strengths and allow him to thrive. Since our conversation, Ryan was able to take Julie’s advice to heart, using voice to text without shame to write his personal statement for college applications and sharing his personal insights on a panel at the recent Stanford Neurodiversity Summit. You can follow the link in the show notes to listen.Finally, this conversation is a demonstration that there is no destination to becoming an adult, but an ongoing journey of learning and discovery, that parents and their children can support one another in reciprocity with curiosity, and that we can all benefit from asking ourselves the question from Mary Oliver’s famous poem, that Julie gives us as our challenge, “What is it that we want to do with our one wild and precious life?”As we approach Thanksgiving, the five-year birthday of the launch of Mother’s Quest, and my 50th birthday, I can say there is nothing I’d rather do than hold space for a conversation like this one and share it with you.

About Julie:

Julie Lythcott-Haims believes in humans and is deeply interested in what gets in our way. She is the New York Times bestselling author of the anti-helicopter parenting manifesto How to Raise an Adult which gave rise to a TED Talk that has more than 5 million views. Her second book is the critically-acclaimed and award-winning prose poetry memoir Real American, which illustrates her experience as a Black and biracial person in white spaces. A third book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, is out now.

Julie is a former corporate lawyer and Stanford dean, and she holds a BA from Stanford, a JD from Harvard, and an MFA in Writing from California College of the Arts. She serves on the board of Common Sense Media, and on the advisory board of LeanIn.Org, and she is a former board member at Foundation for a College Education, Global Citizen Year, The Writers Grotto, and Challenge Success. She volunteers with the hospital program No One Dies Alone.

She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her partner of over thirty years, their itinerant young adults, and her mother.

Connect with Julie: