#22 - Key Differences and Listener Questions

12/13/24 • 40 min

There are important differences within the "we" to pay attention to. When we do pay attention to these, we can get a better sense of how to work with the "we."
Three components to pay attention to:
differences in . . .
- energy that each person has for this kind of work
- skill each has with their emotions
- ability each person has to hold the "we"

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Bonnie's book is available in paperback!
"Me And We: Finding Your Voice and Influencing Relational Interactions"
Send us your questions! Email them to [email protected]
Find out more about our work:
Bonnie's Website: bonniemacbride.com
Mallika's Website: rootedrelationships.com
Thank you to Jessica Carson Chen for the music for the show.
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Thank you to Positron Productions for producing and editing the show.

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Previous Episode

#21 - Shame: Declarations and The Shame Wall

Getting out of shame is hard to do on our own. We do automatic, repetitive patterns with people, and they do it with us. We are so influenced by the context and those patterns, we all can use help from others to get us out of those hard places, and to plan how to experiment to do it differently next time.
Declarations: "I am _______"
The good parts of ourselves and the bad parts of ourselves. Claiming who we are, parts of ourselves are not all of who we are, but they are part of us.
Best said out loud in the presence of someone else claiming/saying parts that are difficult for them to say.
We can use these phrases to help us reclaim parts of ourselves:
"That's me!"
"oh well."
"So what!"
Stepping Through The Shame Wall:
When we are seeking to be with important parts of ourselves, parts that have wisdom and emotions, we can work with specific parts.
Rather than focus on the hiding of shame, the feeling of not enough, there is a shame wall there.
Can you step through the shame wall instead of getting caught in that puddle of shame?

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Next Episode

#23 - Have You No Shame?

It's healthy to want belonging and to communicate our care for others, and shame might play a role in how we work together with others. We don't want to hurt others. And we expect others to orient to the "we" to some degree. When they don't meet those expectations, we might find ourselves asking "Have you no shame?"
What happens to shame/shaming when we communicate our dilemma? or when we see another in their dilemma?
What role does compassion play? How do we access compassion in the face of shame?
For more info on this, you can look at Bonnie's book.
Or look more at Al Peso's work (Pesso Boyden System Psychomotor) regarding needs for care, belonging and dependency.

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