
10- THE GATEKEEPER: PART FIVE
Explicit content warning
11/10/21 • 16 min
BONUS!! Since part four was so short, I figured I’d release this one today!!! Thanks for listening!!
In this episode, I read part five of my Gatekeeper series. This was probably the piece that I realized that i had a tenement talent fora different kind of writing. One where I can create a visual through my writing. Thanks for tuning in!
Don’t forget to download!!
Life.... Who said you have to do it alone?
PART FIVE
"THE TOWN"
Dear friends and family,
My journey has been quite difficult so far. I'm not entirely sure where I have just passed through. There were some things that looked and felt familiar, but there were also things I did not recognize. At times it felt like a place I'd been before, but then I'd pass something that made me feel uncertain and out of place.
One thing I know for sure is that I did not like anything about it. It was so dark and gloomy that I thought about trying to find a way around it, but I didn't want to get lost, so I knew I had pass through. There wasn't a single light to be found anywhere, and it was as if a rainstorm was permanently positioned above the entire town.
When I first entered the "city limits", it felt as if I had just been teleported to the edge of the universe, and everything I had ever learned was completely irrelevant. It felt like I forgot how to walk... I didn't know how to talk... I even struggled to breath. It felt like the earth stopped spinning, but at the same time, it was as if it began spinning faster, and gravity became too unbearable to stand on my feet.
It was like being trapped in an elevator, and that elevator was going up, but it was rapidly gaining speed. Claustrophobia was suffocating me, yet I was in a vastly open space with fresh air. It was the most intense pain I'd ever felt, but that pain had a familiar sting...
After some time, reality slowly started shifting back into place. It was like watching every single pixel, one by one, as they create an image on the computer. I caught my breath, I rose from my knees to my shaky legs. Afraid of turning back, and experiencing it all over again, but afraid of what else that desolate place might have in store for me. I gained my composure, and tried to navigate my way through.
As I moved on, there seemed to be separate areas that briefly gave me different feelings, but the scene remained dark and gloomy. It all seemed to be new, but there was a strange familiarity throughout.
At one point, I tried to make a desperate run, and escape the terror as fast as I could. Before I got very far outside of town, I found myself right back at the beginning... At the edge of the universe, helpless and full of anxiety. I tried making a run for it several times, and every time I ended up right back at the beginning. It was like the town was just one big loop. I'd run up one side, and down the other, right back where I started.
If there is a Hell, I'm certain I just went through it. It was a nightmare that was stuck on repeat. The same scene, the same emotions, the same feelings. Every time it started over, I knew exactly what to expect, but I couldn't change anything about it... No matter how hard I tried. It continued like this until I decided to embrace it all. Instead of running straight through, I explored. I walked down every street, every alley, and eventually things started to change... Or at least they appeared to. I discovered more parts of the town that felt familiar, and I felt a bit of comfort.
Before I knew it, the town was behind me. I was worried that I would still end up back at the beginning, but as I got further and further I realized I was no longer stuck in the loop. I was no longer trapped in the town of Heartbreak. Hopefully I can continue this journey without having to ever go through it again.
Anyways, I must carry on. I'll write again soon.
Love, Clyde
BONUS!! Since part four was so short, I figured I’d release this one today!!! Thanks for listening!!
In this episode, I read part five of my Gatekeeper series. This was probably the piece that I realized that i had a tenement talent fora different kind of writing. One where I can create a visual through my writing. Thanks for tuning in!
Don’t forget to download!!
Life.... Who said you have to do it alone?
PART FIVE
"THE TOWN"
Dear friends and family,
My journey has been quite difficult so far. I'm not entirely sure where I have just passed through. There were some things that looked and felt familiar, but there were also things I did not recognize. At times it felt like a place I'd been before, but then I'd pass something that made me feel uncertain and out of place.
One thing I know for sure is that I did not like anything about it. It was so dark and gloomy that I thought about trying to find a way around it, but I didn't want to get lost, so I knew I had pass through. There wasn't a single light to be found anywhere, and it was as if a rainstorm was permanently positioned above the entire town.
When I first entered the "city limits", it felt as if I had just been teleported to the edge of the universe, and everything I had ever learned was completely irrelevant. It felt like I forgot how to walk... I didn't know how to talk... I even struggled to breath. It felt like the earth stopped spinning, but at the same time, it was as if it began spinning faster, and gravity became too unbearable to stand on my feet.
It was like being trapped in an elevator, and that elevator was going up, but it was rapidly gaining speed. Claustrophobia was suffocating me, yet I was in a vastly open space with fresh air. It was the most intense pain I'd ever felt, but that pain had a familiar sting...
After some time, reality slowly started shifting back into place. It was like watching every single pixel, one by one, as they create an image on the computer. I caught my breath, I rose from my knees to my shaky legs. Afraid of turning back, and experiencing it all over again, but afraid of what else that desolate place might have in store for me. I gained my composure, and tried to navigate my way through.
As I moved on, there seemed to be separate areas that briefly gave me different feelings, but the scene remained dark and gloomy. It all seemed to be new, but there was a strange familiarity throughout.
At one point, I tried to make a desperate run, and escape the terror as fast as I could. Before I got very far outside of town, I found myself right back at the beginning... At the edge of the universe, helpless and full of anxiety. I tried making a run for it several times, and every time I ended up right back at the beginning. It was like the town was just one big loop. I'd run up one side, and down the other, right back where I started.
If there is a Hell, I'm certain I just went through it. It was a nightmare that was stuck on repeat. The same scene, the same emotions, the same feelings. Every time it started over, I knew exactly what to expect, but I couldn't change anything about it... No matter how hard I tried. It continued like this until I decided to embrace it all. Instead of running straight through, I explored. I walked down every street, every alley, and eventually things started to change... Or at least they appeared to. I discovered more parts of the town that felt familiar, and I felt a bit of comfort.
Before I knew it, the town was behind me. I was worried that I would still end up back at the beginning, but as I got further and further I realized I was no longer stuck in the loop. I was no longer trapped in the town of Heartbreak. Hopefully I can continue this journey without having to ever go through it again.
Anyways, I must carry on. I'll write again soon.
Love, Clyde
Previous Episode

9- THE GATEKEEPER: PART FOUR
In this Episode I read part 4 of my gatekeeper series. Tune in and let me know what you think!
Life.... Who said you have to do it alone?
PART FOUR
MY JOURNEY BEGINS
Dear family and friends,
After the last letter I received from "The Gatekeeper", I was confused, and uncertain of the truth. It's not that I believed he was the only one to blame, but I definitely never thought of him as good. So, in my constant contemplation on this complex matter, I made a decision... I've decided to go see "The Gatekeeper", face to face.
As you can imagine, this decision was not an easy one to make. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, or that I know I'll be okay. All I do know is that my gut is telling me this is the right decision, and my dad taught me to always listen to my gut.
For those of you who know, and can understand what is at stake, and where I may have to go... If you don't hear from me within the next few weeks, please come find me. Just don't come alone, as the road will be difficult, and dangerous.
Anyways, I best be on my way.
Love, Clyde
Next Episode

11- THE GATEKEEPER: PART SIX
The text for my poem is too long. Sorry! I’ll just include a few of my favorite parts.
“I can't decide if I'm obsessed or if I'm just terrified of you. I think it's an obsession and that terrifies me... Or is it an immense fear that makes me so obsessive? God dammit! See what I mean... You've got my thoughts so fucking twisted that I question every little thing!”
“Are you really even real? Maybe you're just my long lost imaginary friend... Maybe you haven't been lost at all and I've just completely blocked you out of my subconscious mind. I guess that could explain why you've been in every piece of my life.”
“Can I ever see the day where you're not by my side? Damn... I can't even begin to imagine what that'd feel like... I like to believe it would feel free, but maybe that lifted weight would leave me with an empty feeling... Either way, both of those fill me with anxiety.”
“Will you be here, or... I guess there, when I die? I kind of hope so, because that would mean you wouldn't be in someone else's life. Is that selfish of me?”
“You persuade us to believe in make belief, but the crazy thing is that we are the creators of the fantasy that we've made to believe.”
“P.S. I think I forgot to tell you that I fucking hate you...”
Thanks for listening! Don’t forget to download and share!!
Life.... Who said you have to do it alone?
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