Difference Between Lust and Love

11/12/21 • 11 min

Marriage Quick Tips: Affairs, Communication, Avoiding Divorce, and Saving Your Marriage

Lust—that's a powerful word. Sometimes people confuse love and lust, and they ask, "Am I in lust or am I in love?" Lust is a desire to mate with an appropriate partner because we are hard-wired to procreate, part of our brains are always looking to make a baby. So the lust part of us is thinking about pleasure, not relationships.
Let's look at love. Dr. Sternberg says love has three basic components, intimacy, passion, and commitment. He says lust in the relationship called love is not just for that one-time satisfaction; it's a craving to be one in terms of the other person's life. That person to be the one in your life, which then requires intimacy, transparency, vulnerability, and openness. That's what develops trust; you let me see who you are, what you think, what you feel. You let me know who you are. And, I let you see who I am. And we begin to mesh our lives together, I won't find you perfect, and you won't find me perfect.
Listen to the full episode to learn more about the difference between lust and love with Dr. Joe Beam.
Book: Art of Falling in Love
Find more resources on our YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/marriagehelper
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Previous Episode

Is Marriage Worth It? Choosing Between Marriage & Divorce

Let's look at the research that shows what the benefits are of marriage. Let's approach this from the data and research perspective. We know from research that married people are more likely to have better health physically and emotionally. They have more robust immune systems, better financial stability, and the earning power of a married couple is well above that of a single couple or couples that live together and aren't married. They also live longer as well as they have drastic decreases in rates of depression and mental illness.
Now, of course, many of these research stats that I have given you are for marriages that are doing well. And these symptoms can temporarily be exacerbated on the negative side if you are experiencing a marriage crisis. But is that a reason to divorce? So what I mean by that is you could be saying, well, I'm more depressed right now. I'm getting sick more. We're separated and living in separate houses, so even though we might be earning more, we're not financially in a better place than we were. And I understand that. But what I'm saying to you right now is when we look at a great marriage and what a great marriage can do for you and society, there are so many benefits to it. So from a research standpoint, marriage is worth it; the data supports it, the research supports it.
We want to give you access to this free mini-course so that you can learn how people fall in love, how you and your spouse fell in love, and how you can get you and your spouse to fall in love again. We're also going to share in there how you can begin working on becoming the best you can be; at Marriage Helper, we call it the PIES of attraction. And we're going to give you quick tips and tools that you can begin implementing today as soon as you watch these videos to start seeing the change in you, knowing that that is going to correlate to change in your marriage as well. So after watching this video, I would love to hear from you. Do you believe marriage is worth it? Let us know your thoughts, give us your feedback and opinion, and share this episode with someone you feel needs it.

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Next Episode

How To Get Your Husband's Attention

If you are wondering how to get your husband to pay more attention to you, you'll want to listen to this episode to gain more information on ways to draw him closer and get him to start seeing you again.

There is nothing more frustrating than feeling like you are fighting to get your husband’s attention. Sure, you hang out and spend time together but he isn’t really there 100% of the time or his mind seems to be wandering elsewhere. It feels different. You have tried different ways to reach out and get him to pay attention to you, but your efforts seem useless or it feels like you’re just annoying him. We understand the emotions of feeling unwanted or ignored but realize it may not be what you think before you jump to conclusions or start to feel suspicious.

There are things we do in relationships that either push our spouse away from us or pull them toward us. Remember, life gets in the way sometimes, so your husband may lose sight of you for a variety of reasons beyond your control. The first thing to do is stay calm and try not to think the worst. The second thing is avoiding behaviors that push our spouse further from us in this oblivious state and you feel like they don’t care.

In this quick episode we cover:

-Why your husband is not paying attention to you

-How to bring your spouse closer instead of pushing them away

-Things you can start doing immediately to get their attention back

Marriage can be challenging, but there is always a way to mend your differences and bring the sparks back into your relationship.
Find more resources on our YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/marriagehelper
Get the FREE mini-course here - https://your.marriagehelper.com/how-to-get-your-spouse-back-mini-course

Click here to get in contact with someone on our team at Marriage Helper