Marriage Quick Tips: Affairs, Communication, Avoiding Divorce, and Saving Your Marriage

Have you ever felt the excitement of new love? When love begins, it’s exciting, and you think about the person often. But is this genuine love, or is it infatuation? Infatuation refers to the early stages of a relationship when the adrenaline is pumping and chemicals are produced in your brain that make it exciting and euphoric. But can infatuation truly be a form of love?

In the social sciences, we study love in different ways. Many models have been made of the various types of love, and infatuation is indeed part of love. The upside is that it feels fantastic. The downside is that it doesn’t last that long. Therefore, if you want a longer-lasting relationship, you can’t stop with the infatuation. You need to work on all three of Dr. Robert Sternberg’s essential components for a long-lasting relationship - intimacy, passion, and commitment.
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If you are wondering how to get your husband to pay more attention to you, you'll want to listen to this episode to gain more information on ways to draw him closer and get him to start seeing you again. 

There is nothing more frustrating than feeling like you are fighting to get your husband’s attention. Sure, you hang out and spend time together but he isn’t really there 100% of the time or his mind seems to be wandering elsewhere. It feels different. You have tried different ways to reach out and get him to pay attention to you, but your efforts seem useless or it feels like you’re just annoying him. We understand the emotions of feeling unwanted or ignored but realize it may not be what you think before you jump to conclusions or start to feel suspicious. 

There are things we do in relationships that either push our spouse away from us or pull them toward us. Remember, life gets in the way sometimes, so your husband may lose sight of you for a variety of reasons beyond your control. The first thing to do is stay calm and try not to think the worst. The second thing is avoiding behaviors that push our spouse further from us in this oblivious state and you feel like they don’t care. 

In this quick episode we cover:

-Why your husband is not paying attention to you 

-How to bring your spouse closer instead of pushing them away 

-Things you can start doing immediately to get their attention back 

Marriage can be challenging, but there is always a way to mend your differences and bring the sparks back into your relationship.

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Let's look at the research that shows what the benefits are of marriage. Let's approach this from the data and research perspective. We know from research that married people are more likely to have better health physically and emotionally. They have more robust immune systems, better financial stability, and the earning power of a married couple is well above that of a single couple or couples that live together and aren't married. They also live longer as well as they have drastic decreases in rates of depression and mental illness.
Now, of course, many of these research stats that I have given you are for marriages that are doing well. And these symptoms can temporarily be exacerbated on the negative side if you are experiencing a marriage crisis. But is that a reason to divorce? So what I mean by that is you could be saying, well, I'm more depressed right now. I'm getting sick more. We're separated and living in separate houses, so even though we might be earning more, we're not financially in a better place than we were. And I understand that. But what I'm saying to you right now is when we look at a great marriage and what a great marriage can do for you and society, there are so many benefits to it. So from a research standpoint, marriage is worth it; the data supports it, the research supports it.
We want to give you access to this free mini-course so that you can learn how people fall in love, how you and your spouse fell in love, and how you can get you and your spouse to fall in love again. We're also going to share in there how you can begin working on becoming the best you can be; at Marriage Helper, we call it the PIES of attraction. And we're going to give you quick tips and tools that you can begin implementing today as soon as you watch these videos to start seeing the change in you, knowing that that is going to correlate to change in your marriage as well. So after watching this video, I would love to hear from you. Do you believe marriage is worth it? Let us know your thoughts, give us your feedback and opinion, and share this episode with someone you feel needs it.

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If you want to know what a toxic relationship is, or how to deal with it, we’re here to help. We want to give you some guidelines to think about and provide you with truth, hope, and plan going forward. To start, we’ll cover these two questions:
1. What do people say about toxic relationships?
2. What is a toxic relationship clinically?
“Toxic Relationships” are a difficult topic to approach because there are many varying opinions and experiences surrounding it. It seems like everyone has a different definition of what a toxic relationship is. For example, people will say a relationship is toxic when "you can't agree on things." Or, there’s “passive aggressive behavior." Maybe they "can't resolve conflict," or, "avoid conflict because they can't solve it." It could also be that "one person doesn't give any effort to the relationship." Now hear me out- these definitions are not healthy for a relationship, but they aren't toxic. They aren't great, but they can be fixed.
You see, toxic literally means poisonous. Eating or ingesting something that is toxic will kill you. It’s not just that you don’t like the taste. No. Toxic is poisonous. From a professional point of view, toxic relationships are abusive relationships physically, verbally or emotionally.
If you are in a situation where you’re experiencing abuse physically, verbally, or emotionally, feel unsafe/scared, or your rights/freedoms are taken away from you, please get help IMMEDIATELY. The Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/ helps you understand what abuse is and how to get help and get safe.
I don't know your situation, but I'm giving you guidelines to think about. If you feel like your relationship is abusive or harmful to you, find someone to help you get safe.
After you get safe, only then can you start thinking about the relationship. After this, if there is any way we can help, we would be honored to.
Like we said before, there is a difference between how some people define toxic relationships. If you're in a relationship where you're fighting, can't compromise or you stopped putting effort in, while it's not a good situation, there is help for that! And we have worked with thousands of couples to grow, fix, and rebuild their marriage.
However, if you’re in a truly toxic and abusive relationship (physically, emotionally, or verbally) please get help. You can start here: https://www.thehotline.org/

We really do care about you.
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Everyone has insecurities of some sort. Most of the time, they stem from something that happened in childhood or perhaps from a traumatic event that occurred later in life. These insecurities can present themselves in many ways, both emotionally and physically.

The American Psychological Association reports that insecurity is multifaceted. It pertains to an overall sense of uncertainty or anxiety about your worth, abilities, skills, and value as a person conveying the message that you're at risk or in danger of losing something or someone. It has a negative impact on your physical, mental, and emotional state. And without that security you're looking for, it makes you feel like you can't live up to your fullest potential.

Insecurity can present itself in behaviors that are either others-focused or others-avoidant. Read further to find out how you can deal with your husband’s insecurities and help him overcome them.

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