Skip the Beat - Ndini - Self Identity in Relationships

09/12/22 • 11 min

Love Vitamins for Life

In this episode, of "Skip the Beat", we talk about

Self Identity in a relationship
The balance between Sharing vs Controlling
Setting healthy boundaries in your relationship

Takeaways

How others see us is crucial for our self-identity; start by understanding your beliefs and then share what you learn and know.
Remain adaptable; acknowledge that your identity is malleable and that conflicts aren’t bad - just opportunities for curiosity and growth.
Regardless of how you are received when you share your truth, stand by your boundaries

Before you can share with your partner what you want, there is a lot of self-identity work that is needed to be done to answer how you are and who you want to be.

Doing identity work, we start to realize that identity as a concept is quite malleable, it’s quite fluid. Looking at it in terms of “this or that” is very reductionist. Identity is more of an amalgamation or a culmination of different moving parts.

To discover the fine balance of how much and when to share in a new relationships

Digest and discern what are the important things to share
Start to build a foundation of mutual respect and understanding by sharing in small doses and using curiosity to ask questions

Start with - Sit with yourself, and identity, what are those non-negotiable boundaries within you? What are the things that you don’t know you can’t function without?

Navigating the fine line between controlling and letting go can be tricky. We often feel like we have to give something to get something. By transforming our ORs into ANDs, we can change this negotiation in our favor. Start having these conversations with yourself, to understand where our boundaries start and when it gets to sacrifice.

To build a healthy partnership, work on laying down the foundation for your relationship so difficult conversations don’t have to be hard ones and can be everyday, honest and real conversation. Building a healthy relationship requires hard work and being intentional about normalizing such difficult conversations.

LoVita - Love Vitamins for a healthier is a community by Partners for Partners. We share stories about how Partners are working intentionally toward building a healthier relationship. To learn more check out the links below 🔗

All below links in a single page - https://linktr.ee/lovitalovevitamins
Website - https://lovita.blog
Newsletter - https://mailchi.mp/81f58463e76b/subscribe
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lovitalovevitamins

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/lovitalovevitamins

In this episode, of "Skip the Beat", we talk about

Self Identity in a relationship
The balance between Sharing vs Controlling
Setting healthy boundaries in your relationship

Takeaways

How others see us is crucial for our self-identity; start by understanding your beliefs and then share what you learn and know.
Remain adaptable; acknowledge that your identity is malleable and that conflicts aren’t bad - just opportunities for curiosity and growth.
Regardless of how you are received when you share your truth, stand by your boundaries

Before you can share with your partner what you want, there is a lot of self-identity work that is needed to be done to answer how you are and who you want to be.

To discover the fine balance of how much and when to share in a new relationships

Digest and discern what are the important things to share
Start to build a foundation of mutual respect and understanding by sharing in small doses and using curiosity to ask questions

Start with - Sit with yourself, and identity, what are those non-negotiable boundaries within you? What are the things that you don’t know you can’t function without?

All below links in a single page - https://linktr.ee/lovitalovevitamins
Website - https://lovita.blog
Newsletter - https://mailchi.mp/81f58463e76b/subscribe
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lovitalovevitamins

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/lovitalovevitamins

Previous Episode

Communicating Relationship Boundaries with Brenden Kumarasamy

In our latest episode with Brenden Kumarasamy, communication expert and the founder of MasterTalk, shares some tips on topics like

Setting boundaries in a relationship
Healthy communication practices
Establishing a shared vision in your relationship

Boundary setting in your relationships

Set clear and healthy boundaries
Specificity is the key to boundary setting. Writing them out helps.
Make it fun
Start easy and start with something small. If you can’t argue about the small things, forget about arguing about the big things.
Celebrate and reciprocate
Ping pong on boundary setting with your partner.

How do being an effective speaker skills help you build healthier relationships? The key is, that it doesn’t matter what you say, as much as HOW you say it.

Use Relationship Visioning, as a Framework to define what you want the relationship to be. Use Relationship Selection to ask all the hard questions upfront.

Make a list of every quality you want in someone else. Look at the list and become that person. The key is to try and be the best version of that person and if you are true to it you’ll attract such people to you.

LoVita - Love Vitamins for a healthier is a community by Partners for Partners. We share stories about how Partners are working intentionally towards building a healthier relationship. To learn more check out the links below 🔗

All below links in a single page - https://linktr.ee/lovitalovevitamins
Website - https://lovita.blog/
Newsletter - https://mailchi.mp/81f58463e76b/subscribe
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lovitalovevitamins/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/lovitalovevitamins

Connect with Brenden Kumarasamy

MasterTalk Website - https://www.mastertalk.ca
FREE Live Training - https://www.rockstarcommunicator.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/c/MasterTalks
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/masteryourtalk
Email - [email protected]

Next Episode

Skip the Beat - Wabi Sabi - Embracing Imperfection in Relationships

In this episode, of "Skip the Beat", we talk about

Embracing Imperfection in Relationships
Great Relationships are not born, they are made

Takeaways

Lead with honesty; true emotions always find a way to leak
Find your peace with imperfections; lead with curiosity so you can take a second look at things you might automatically dismiss
Give yourself and your partner permission to be imperfect without sweeping into quick judgment

We talk about emotional leakage in your relationships. How best to manage this and communicate with our partners? The best way to dig deep into our anxieties and our needs for having everything “perfect” is to lead with curiosity.

We talk about the middle path between the extremes of lying to keep your partner happy or being honest and possibly hurting your partner.

Things are rarely perfect, and that’s exactly what makes them perfect in relationships. Learn more on how to find the perfect moments, acceptance in imperfection, and appreciate these moments to find joy and happiness.

This will help your partnership develop the capacity to hold the space so that your partner can flourish in all the ways they have desired outside of judgment. Set yourself free of the concepts of duality like, right or wrong. Dig deeper into layers to find what it is that brings us joy and happiness in our relationship.

To live fully and abundantly is the most beautiful opportunity that life provides. Work on creating a partnership, to encourage and empower each other to explore and wonder without judgment.

Remember, you are perfect in every imperfect moment and so is your partner. And when you find something imperfect, seek out the perfect moment to communicate and share with your partner your feelings.