Having your partner CHOOSE YOU FIRST with Jerry Dugan

05/05/23 • 10 min

In our conversation with Jerry Dugan, he says, "like live in a way that. She's gonna be like, all right, yeah, I choose him again for another day." So we asked him what his thoughts were on how to make sure that the love between partners doesn't just stay at a constant rate.

The biggest thing is making sure I'm listening more than I'm speaking in the relationship.

Listen to the full episode for Jerry's story on how he was putting them first and, and also communicating something he would want to do.

We also learn about - H.A.L.T - A framework which can be used to reduce conflict in relationships. Before you say, anything to your partner, halt and check for the below

H - Am I hungry?
A - Am I angry about something else?
L - Am I feeling lonely?
T - Am I tired?

And if the answer to any of those things is a YES, then the conflict or conversation between you and your partner isn't about whatever's going on - it's about something else entirely. So what can you do? Simple answer is to take care of yourself and let your partner know. If you're hungry - get a snack. If you're angry or feeling lonely or tired - let your partner know.

Takeaways

The biggest thing to do in a relationship is making sure you're listening more than speaking
Put your loved ones first and communicate with them if there is something you would like to do
Use HALT - the self assessment tool to halt the conversation if you find yourself Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.

If you enjoyed listening to this episode (or the podcast), please share your diagnosis with 1 close relationship or anyone else who would enjoy listening to this as well.

The best gift you can give us is positive feedback and your observations. Follow us wherever you are listening and do us a favor by adding a Review on Apple Podcast.

LoVita - Love Vitamins for a healthier is a community by Partners for Partners. We share stories about how Partners are working intentionally towards building a healthier relationship. To learn more check out the links below 🔗

LoVita Blog for Frameworks
Sign up for our monthly Newsletter for exclusive content
We're also on Social media - Instagram, Facebook, TikTok
All above links in a single page

Connect with Jerry Dugan

The biggest thing is making sure I'm listening more than I'm speaking in the relationship.

Listen to the full episode for Jerry's story on how he was putting them first and, and also communicating something he would want to do.

We also learn about - H.A.L.T - A framework which can be used to reduce conflict in relationships. Before you say, anything to your partner, halt and check for the below

H - Am I hungry?
A - Am I angry about something else?
L - Am I feeling lonely?
T - Am I tired?

Takeaways

The biggest thing to do in a relationship is making sure you're listening more than speaking
Put your loved ones first and communicate with them if there is something you would like to do
Use HALT - the self assessment tool to halt the conversation if you find yourself Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.

If you enjoyed listening to this episode (or the podcast), please share your diagnosis with 1 close relationship or anyone else who would enjoy listening to this as well.

The best gift you can give us is positive feedback and your observations. Follow us wherever you are listening and do us a favor by adding a Review on Apple Podcast.

LoVita Blog for Frameworks
Sign up for our monthly Newsletter for exclusive content
We're also on Social media - Instagram, Facebook, TikTok
All above links in a single page

Connect with Jerry Dugan

Previous Episode

Tell your partner today - THEY COME FIRST with Jerry Dugan

In our conversation with Jerry Dugan, he shared with us their habit or ritual that he and his wife had had worked over the years to keep their love intentional and alive in their relationship. Listen to the full episode for the full explanation but we broke it down to the three steps below.

1️⃣ Recharge or regroup yourself - Put yourself in the right frame of mind before you enter into the door and meet your partner and/or family

2️⃣ Prioritize your partner - Take some time out to catch up on the day with your partner before you do anything else

3️⃣ Be present and engaged - Be there for each other

Since Jerry had been in his relationship for a couple decades, we asked Jerry for some advice for people new into relationships and marriages. He gave us some more compelling reasons why we should put our relationship with our partner first before our children and extended friends and family. For their family with a Christian faith he says, "we put God first and then we put each other second, and then we would put our kids third." He adds that if you could just replace the first part with your faith but the main point was that the relationship between him and his wife would have precedent over our relationship with their kids, extended family, friends and co-workers.

Takeaways

Let's bandage the takeaways for todays episode on why we should prioritize our partners our relationships with them before some of the other relationships

Before you interact with your partner - take a moment for yourself. Recharge and regroup to put yourself in the right frame of mind
Prioritize your relationship with your partner - Take time to catch up on the day. Work on your relationship so that your partner chooses YOU every single day.
Teach your kids by example, that you and your partner are a strong team together.

If you enjoyed listening to this episode (or the podcast), please share your diagnosis with 1 close relationship or anyone else who would enjoy listening to this as well.

The best gift you can give us is positive feedback and your observations. Follow us wherever you are listening and do us a favor by adding a Review on Apple Podcast.

LoVita Blog for Frameworks
Sign up for our monthly Newsletter for exclusive content
We're also on Social media - Instagram, Facebook,
All above links in a single page

Connect with Jerry Dugan

Website - https://beyondtherut.com
Instagram - @beyondtherut
Facebook - @beyondtherut
TikTok - @beyondtherut
LinkedIn - jerrydugan

Next Episode

Manage your relationships like a successful business with Aaron Shelley

At LoVita, we believe the workings of a successful relationship are similar to the workings of a successful corporation. Or at least they should be. Successful companies have a mission and vision. They have goals and targets. So should relationships. Have you ever considered what are your values in your relationship? Companies are always trying to do the best and accountable to the shareholders and customers. The shareholders and customers in your relationships are you and your partner. Similar to companies, most relationships need a strategy, which should be discussed periodically. Relationships need frameworks to provide structure. Each couple is unique and you have to innovate and be creative to personalize what works for your relationship.

Amongst the many insights that our guest, Aaron Shelly, shares with us he says "One of the big things that I wasn't understanding was the value in social connections and relating that social resources and how much like my mom invested in that." Our relationships in our community can actually have much greater magnitudes in our life than just having a monetary value. The payoffs from maintaining our relationships are massive and unknown. He adds "If you're not investing in social connections, it would be the same as if a company said, we're not gonna have sales and marketing. Which every company would say that's suicide."

Takeaways

The workings of a successful relationship can be very similar to the workings of a successful corporation. Relationships can benefit from having a strategy, vision, goals and more. Keeping track of logistics, identifying root causes of conflicts, and keeping track of growth with regular check-ins can help you build a healthier relationship.
Invest in your relationships with your partner and your community. The value of your network that you build with trust and time, has a much greater positive impact on our life than just having a monetary value.

If you enjoyed listening to this episode (or the podcast), please share your diagnosis with 1 close relationship or anyone else who would enjoy listening to this as well.

If you would like to share your story, fill out this quick form.

The best gift you can give us is positive feedback and your observations. Follow us wherever you are listening and do us a favor by adding a Review on Apple Podcast.