Cultivating Compassionate Conversations with Kim Loh

05/20/21 • 26 min

Kim Loh is a conflict resolution and negotiation specialist, leadership coach, and co-author of the book Compassionate Conversations: How to Speak and Listen from the Heart. Her book is viewed as the definitive guide to learning effective strategies for engaging in open and honest conversations about divisive issues. Previously, she worked in peacebuilding and mediation research for the United Nations, as well as writing and advocacy for international NGOs and academic institutions. A lawyer by profession, she is an expert in international arbitration and litigation. Her work today centers on serving conscious leaders to up-level their human relationships and harness the true power of their teams. She joins Marcel Schwantes to discuss what drives conflict and share strategies for peaceful resolution.Marcel asks Kim to unpack the term “difference equals threat.” Humans are surrounded by similarities and differences, and are constantly balancing between the two, Kim explains. “If, through our own limitations, we cannot accommodate what’s happening [around us], we are likely to perceive it as a threat, which activates the flight or fight response,” she comments. [6:25]Kim shares tips for peaceful conflict resolution and reduction. The first thing you need to do when faced with conflict is to be aware of your role in it. You must take responsibility for yourself and your actions before analyzing the external factors of the conflict that need to change. [10:34]“All conversations about differences should begin and end with what we have in common,” Kim advises. She briefly describes strategies for eliminating division in conversation. [14:12]‘Talking straight’ is less about being blunt and more about having the courage to speak from the heart in goodwill and with good intentions, Marcel says. Kim believes that we are plagued by the things we don’t know how to say. When we listen well and talk straight, we create the freedom to be more truthful in conversation. [18:24]Though society as a whole is cognitively focused, our hearts are what will allow us to make sense of and peace with things that our minds cannot, Kim remarks. [20:34]ResourcesKimberly Loh on LinkedIn | TwitterKimberlyLoh.comCompassionate Conversations: How to Speak and Listen from the Heart

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Kindness is a Necessity with Houston Kraft

Houston Kraft is CEO and co-founder of CharacterStrong, an organization dedicated to infusing character, empathy, and connection into education. He is an author, keynote speaker, and curriculum developer. A self-proclaimed kindness advocate, he is passionate about spreading it in meaningful ways. His most recent book, Deep Kindness: A Revolutionary Guide for the Way We Think, Talk, and Act in Kindness, explores kindness as a skill set and competency that can bring revolutionary change. He joins Marcel Schwantes to discuss how kindness can improve our quality of life and shares actionable tips to help us be more kind every day. Marcel asks Houston why he wrote his recent book. Houston explains that it’s because he appreciates how much words shape our lives. “Language is the vehicle to experiences, emotions, and memories inside our brains, so it stands to reason that the way we think about things is a huge indicator of how we act.” [6:52]Our culture views kindness as a nice-to-have instead of a must-have, according to Houston. We see it as fluffy, so we don’t see the need to develop it in ourselves as a skill. [9:14]“We are experiencing an increase in accountability. People are being seen, watched, exposed, listened to and critiqued more deeply than they have in the past,” Houston remarks. “The bridge that we are now tasked to cross is how to show loving accountability. Accountability without love is condescending; it creates friction without room for growth,” he adds. [15:45]Houston defines forgiveness and describes what it entails. “By extending forgiveness, you’re setting yourself free from holding on to anger and resentment while also setting clear boundaries around the behavior of [who you are forgiving] so it doesn’t violate you again,” Marcel comments. [18:19]Provide a specific constraint to make your goal of kindness more actionable. For example, asking ‘How do I be kind today towards my mom?’ may yield more actionable answers than simply asking ‘How do I be kind today?’ [25:08]“There’s power in scheduling time to worry,” Houston quotes. “Give yourself 15 minutes a day to worry and only do so during that time. So many of us let worry bleed throughout our day which makes the stuff in the background seem bigger and more monstrous.” [33:33]“My mom wrote notes in my lunchbox from kindergarten to 12th grade. They took her 2 minutes every day, and when I look back and add it up, [I realize] it’s the most profound action of love I’ve experienced. The little things are the big things,” Houston shares. [39:39]Marcel welcomes Tom Geraghty, the creator of the Psychological Safety Toolkit, to share insights about the importance of psychological safety in the workplace and why it’s good for business.ResourcesHouston Kraft on LinkedIn | TwitterHoustonKraft.comDeep Kindness: A Revolutionary Guide for the Way We Think, Talk, and Act in KindnessTom Geraghty on LinkedIn | TwitterPsychSafety.co.uk

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At the Heart of Business with Hubert Joly

Hubert Joly is a senior lecturer of Business Administration at Harvard Business School and former Chairman and CEO of Best Buy. He is also a member on the board of directors at Johnson & Johnson and at Ralph Lauren. He has been recognized as one of the top 100 CEOs in the world by Harvard Business Review, one of the top 30 by Barron’s, and one of the 10 in the US by Glassdoor. His most recent book, The Heart of Business: Leadership Principles for the Next Era of Capitalism, is a playbook for facilitating the re-foundation of business and capitalism. It chronicles his journey turning Best Buy around from the brink of extinction to being ranked 75 on the Fortune 500 list. Hubert joins Marcel Schwantes to discuss what lies at the heart of business, and how to foster a good work environment.Marcel asks Hubert what he believes business is about. “At the heart of business... is the pursuit of a noble purpose, putting people at the center, embracing all stakeholders, and treating profit as an outcome, not the goal,” Hubert responds. [2:56]There are three imperatives to an organization and tackling them in the correct sequence leads to optimal outcomes: a people imperative - having the right teams properly motivated and equipped; a business imperative - having happy customers who you sell good products to;a financial imperative - about profit. [9:35]“The old model of leadership portrayed a leader as a superhero here to save the day, probably the smartest person in the room, and, unfortunately, too driven by power, fame, money or glory,” Hubert claims. “This [type of leadership] doesn’t work... [people] want to be part of the journey and the solution.” [15:45]Hubert debunks the concept of perfectionism as a key to success; he shares how demonstrating his imperfection actually helped create the right environment for optimal performance at work. “The quest for perfection is evil. Seeing imperfections as an obstacle to perfection, which was the goal, creates an inhuman environment that destroys the heart of your business,” he remarks. [19:04]Marcel asks Hubert about the formula for turning around a company in financial distress. Hubert breaks down his strategy for rescuing Best Buy. “Sometimes the approach to change management is to change [the] management,” he adds. [26:58]“Operational progress creates routine degrees of freedom, so sometimes you have to start with the basics before you think about creating an amazing future,'' Hubert advises. He describes the five ingredients for creating a fabulous work environment, which are: connecting dreams, developing authentic human connections, fostering autonomy, achieving mastery, and putting the wind at your back. [31:52]Marcel asks Hubert how he thinks a leader loves. “Work is love made visible... Business is about embracing all stakeholders... This is a beautiful friendship you’re building with all stakeholders, treating all of them, in a sense, as customers.” [45:15]ResourcesHubert Joly on LinkedIn The Heart of Business: Leadership Principles for the Next Era of Capitalism

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