Episode 275: Faith's Mom & Dad

12/19/24 • 56 min

45 minutes.

Forty-five minutes does not seem like very much time, but it was a lifetime for Chris and Julie's first child, Faith, and it forever changed Chris and Julie. When the couple excitedly went to Julie's prenatal ultrasound, they first saw beautiful images of their baby but were then given devastating news. Faith was severely ill and doctors did not expect her to survive much longer. The couple was sent home expecting Julie to miscarry soon.

Chris and Julie went home and began to pray. Certainly, they prayed for healing for their baby girl, but more importantly, they prayed that they might be able to meet Faith. Chris and Julie decided to make the most of this time of pregnancy. They talked to Faith, traveled with Faith, and even had a church dedication for Faith all before she was born. Then, at 37 weeks, Faith was born, and through a little miracle, her heart began to beat and her eyes opened. Chris and Julie got to experience the best 45 minutes of their lives, a time that they will remember forever. Then, just like that, the magic was gone. The hospital allowed the couple to spend the night with little Faith, but then the funeral director carried her away, and Chris and Julie had to continue living without their little girl.

Child loss is something that no parent expects. It is an incredibly isolating experience. As Chris and Julie slowly began to heal, they felt God calling them to help others experiencing this pain. They started an amazing organization, Faith45, which has two focus areas. The first is a mentorship program that helps match newly bereaved parents with a peer to walk beside them during their grief journey. They match the newly bereaved parent with a mentor with a similar story whether it be a miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant loss. These mentors work to be the hands and feet of God, offering a listening ear and an understanding voice. The second focus of Faith45 is to offer Faith Boxes to purchase on their website. Each box contains 8-10 items to help newly bereaved parents in their grief journey. Through Faith45, Chris and Julie hope to give a message of hope and healing.

45 minutes.

Previous Episode

Episode 274: AJ's Mum

Today's guest, Lorraine's young son, AJ, had a smile that would light up a room. Although a heart murmur had been noted at birth, it was thought to have resolved. He was growing and feeding well, and Lorraine had no idea that serious heart abnormality was worsening. The murmur was again noted after a fall at 7 months of age, and AJ was sent to Cardiology where it was determined that AJ suffered from a condition called aortic stenosis. He was scheduled for a cardiac cath to assess the severity of the stenosis.

On the drive to the hospital that morning, Lorraine turned around and AJ gave her one of his famous smiles. That was one of his last smiles because, during the procedure, young AJ's heart stopped. Despite medical interventions, they were unable to save her sweet boy. To say that AJ's parents were horrified would be a vast understatement. The last thing that Lorraine wanted to do was leave her baby boy in a cold hospital morgue.

This is when Martin House Children's Hospice stepped in. When I think of hospice, I think of organizations that help support families whose loved ones are dying. Martin House certainly does this, but it is so much more. The staff from Martin House came to the hospital to take AJ's little body and keep it cool. They allowed his family to stay with him for a full week until they were ready to put him to rest. They offered grief support to Lorraine and her family for a full year. They were everything Lorraine needed when her whole world was falling apart.

In addition to Martin House, Lorraine began listening to the podcast only one month after AJ's death. She says the parents who told their stories on the podcast became her friends and support system. She felt less alone as she listened and she felt herself ever so slowly begin to heal. Now two years after AJ's death, Lorraine works to help other bereaved parents just as she was helped. She is a resource for Martin House helping them learn more about helping parents and now she shares her own story with Always Andy's Mom listeners so they too know that they are not alone.

Next Episode

Episode 276: Zach's Mom

Christmas Day was always Mary's favorite day of the year and 2020 was no different. She was happy as she watched through the window as her husband made snow angels outside with their grandson. The day seemed perfect despite the fact that her son, Zach had been unable to come home to Indiana from where he was living near his dad in Texas.

When Mary's husband came inside, he commented that he had missed numerous phone calls from Mary's ex-husband. Mary immediately panicked, knowing that something must be wrong with Zach. However, never in a million years would Mary have thought that her ex-husband would tell her the devastating news that Zach was dead. He found Zach in his apartment sitting on his couch with his nebulizer machine running. It is now known that Zach died from asthma complications on the evening of December 23rd.

I feel like all bereaved parents struggle with the holidays. As I sat in church for Christmas Eve worship, tears flowed freely as I remembered Christmases past and longed for the days when Andy was with us. These days of joy and celebration do not feel very joyful when we are grieving, but then I think of Mary and others like her - parents whose children died on or around Christmas. It just adds another complicated layer to the grief.

It would be completely reasonable to think that Mary might want to avoid Christmas entirely. She might want to just hide away during the whole Christmas season, but that is not Mary. Mary's faith has been an inspiration since I met her when she joined one of my support groups through Starlight Ministry in February of this year. Despite Mary's own pain, she has been an amazing listening ear and a source of comfort to all of us who are blessed enough to be in a group with her.

After sharing with the group for the past several months, Mary made the decision to share Zach's story on the podcast. When asked if she might want to share Zach's story on the week of Christmas, Mary knew that was perfect timing. Just as Mary's honest presence helps our support group each week, her story will bless each of you as you listen during this hard Christmas week.