How to Overcome Limiting and Imprisoning Beliefs

12/01/15 • -1 min

One of life’s greatest tragedies is when people fall short of their potential because of self-limiting or imprisoning beliefs. These are negative statements you’ve said to yourself and repeated so many times you believe they are true.

Examples include such statements as:

I can’t do that because... (something negative)

I can’t be that way because... (something negative)

I will always be...(something negative)

I will never be promoted because... (something negative)

My needs aren’t important because... (something negative)

There’s something wrong with me because... (something negative)

Limiting beliefs are those that limit you or hold you back, while imprisoning beliefs are those that can be destructive to your life and overall well being.

These types of beliefs are caused by a variety of factors. Previous mistakes or failures, a continual focus on faults and weaknesses, and surrounding yourself with negative people can create a breeding ground for developing these destructive beliefs.

Once the seed of a limiting or imprisoning belief is planted in the mind, it’s generally fertilized with negative self-talk. Your self-talk is the internal dialogue you have with yourself. When it gets really negative you say things like “I can’t do anything right,” “I could never do that,” “I will never find the right mate for me,” or some other negative statement.

Changing the conversation

When I started my real estate career at age 23, I remember saying negative things to myself such as, “I am too young. Look at me; I look like I’m 18 years old. Why would any seller select me over a more experienced Realtor?” These thoughts haunted me every time I went on an appointment. I believed these statements to be true; after all, I was too young.

I then listened to an audiobook by Anthony Robbins titled Unlimited Power. In this book Tony talked about limiting beliefs and how to overcome them. What I learned changed my life, because it changed the conversations I had with myself.

I vowed to never again say anything that would limit me, unless it was a physically limiting truth, such as “I can’t swim around the world.” I then created positive statements for each of my limiting beliefs.

I then went on to sell more than 60 homes my first year and earned more than $250,000. This lesson taught me to NEVER allow myself to say negative things that would limit who I can become or what I can achieve.

Are you ready to be set free from your limiting and imprisoning beliefs?

If you want to be set free from beliefs that are having a negative influence on your life and holding you back from being who you want to be and achieving your goals, follow these three steps:

1. Identify your limiting or imprisoning beliefs. To help you, make a list of your answers to these questions:

Do I believe I can be one of the top achievers in my chosen career? If not, list the reasons.
When I look at my life, what do I believe can’t be changed?
Do I believe I can save enough money to become financially independent? If not, list the reasons.
Do I believe I can lose weight and achieve my ideal body? If not, list the reasons.
What are my fears that could be holding me back?
Do I believe I can find the perfect person with whom to spend the rest of my life? If not, list the reasons.
What negative things are going on in my life that I don’t believe will change?
Do I believe I am too busy, too tired, too heavy etc., to do something that I would love to do?
Do I believe I can enjoy an amazing marriage with my spouse? If not, list the reasons.
Do I believe my race, age, or gender is limiting me? If so, list the reasons.
Do I believe I can get straight “A’s” in school? If not, list the reasons.
Do I believe there is something wrong with me? If so, list the things you think are wrong with you.
Do I believe I can have a great relationship with my children or parents? If not, list the reasons.
When I look at my future, what do I see? List the negative things that you see.
What other questions should I ask myself to identify more limiting or imprisoning beliefs?

As you answer these questions be honest with yourself and list everything that comes to your mind.

2. Challenge your beliefs. This is when you determine if your belief is indeed a fact of truth or a limiting or imprisoning belief.

Go over your list one point at a time. Put “Me” next to all the points that are negative beliefs about yourself as a person and put “Do” next to all the things you don’t believe you are capable of doing.

Then go back over each the points you’ve identified with “Me” and ask yourself, “Is this somet...

Examples include such statements as:

I can’t do that because... (something negative)

I can’t be that way because... (something negative)

I will always be...(something negative)

I will never be promoted because... (something negative)

My needs aren’t important because... (something negative)

There’s something wrong with me because... (something negative)

Limiting beliefs are those that limit you or hold you back, while imprisoning beliefs are those that can be destructive to your life and overall well being.

Changing the conversation

Are you ready to be set free from your limiting and imprisoning beliefs?

If you want to be set free from beliefs that are having a negative influence on your life and holding you back from being who you want to be and achieving your goals, follow these three steps:

1. Identify your limiting or imprisoning beliefs. To help you, make a list of your answers to these questions:

Do I believe I can be one of the top achievers in my chosen career? If not, list the reasons.
When I look at my life, what do I believe can’t be changed?
Do I believe I can save enough money to become financially independent? If not, list the reasons.
Do I believe I can lose weight and achieve my ideal body? If not, list the reasons.
What are my fears that could be holding me back?
Do I believe I can find the perfect person with whom to spend the rest of my life? If not, list the reasons.
What negative things are going on in my life that I don’t believe will change?
Do I believe I am too busy, too tired, too heavy etc., to do something that I would love to do?
Do I believe I can enjoy an amazing marriage with my spouse? If not, list the reasons.
Do I believe my race, age, or gender is limiting me? If so, list the reasons.
Do I believe I can get straight “A’s” in school? If not, list the reasons.
Do I believe there is something wrong with me? If so, list the things you think are wrong with you.
Do I believe I can have a great relationship with my children or parents? If not, list the reasons.
When I look at my future, what do I see? List the negative things that you see.
What other questions should I ask myself to identify more limiting or imprisoning beliefs?

As you answer these questions be honest with yourself and list everything that comes to your mind.

2. Challenge your beliefs. This is when you determine if your belief is indeed a fact of truth or a limiting or imprisoning belief.

Then go back over each the points you’ve identified with “Me” and ask yourself, “Is this somet...

Previous Episode

How to Get Life’s Winds Blowing at Your Back

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to get all the breaks? They have the perfect spouse, the rich parents, the ideal job or business, the big beautiful home, and the nice car. Everything seems to be going their way.

30 years ago when I married my wife Joy, she said one of the first things she was going to teach her children is that life is not fair. Like many children coming from broken homes, she grew up in an unhealthy environment and life wasn’t fair.

Why do some people get all the breaks?

On a recent trip, I was reading the manuscript for John Addison’s new book, Real Leadership. John shares his story of how he went from a young confused high school graduate working an entry-level position at a life insurance company to becoming the Co-CEO of Primerica, one of America’s top life insurance companies.

As he shared his story, he talked about how he never seemed to know what his future would look like. When he graduated high school, he had no idea what he would do for a living and still didn’t know after college.

He said he just focused on being a better person every day, a lesson his mom taught him, and making good decisions.

Here’s exactly what he said.

“I believe one of the great keys to a successful life is incremental improvement. It’s not about going from where you are today to moving into a mansion with five swimming pools tomorrow. It’s not about “quantum leaps” or the big dramatic breakthrough. Those are great for Hollywood films, where the filmmaker has only two hours to get the hero from Point A to Point Z.

But back here in reality, where life’s major changes and plot points are measured in years rather than minutes, it’s about day-by-day personal improvement, finding your pathway, one step at a time, to where you want to go. Exciting? No. Dramatic? Hardly. But it does have the advantage of being “real”—and over time it can indeed lead to events both dramatic and exciting.

And there’s the rub: time.

Incremental improvement doesn’t happen automatically, and it sure doesn’t happen swiftly. You have to commit to it over a lengthy period of time, and that takes a certain amount of character and spine.

A lot of people try to short-circuit the process by jumping around, zigging and zagging through life. They’re too impatient, too unfocused, or too willing to follow the next shiny new idea that comes along. Tapping into the great power of incremental improvement takes patience, persistence, and faith. The payoff is well more than worth it.”

While reading John’s book, I began reflecting on my life, my wife’s life, and the lives of those who have life’s winds blowing at their backs. I realized there was one common thread woven through all these lives: they are lived by humble people who are trying to get better every day.

How to start getting all the breaks?

No matter what you’re going through or how bad things have been, today can mark the beginning of a new chapter in your life.

You don’t need to know where you are going or what your life will look like 10 years from now. All you need to do is commit to getting better every day.

Here’s who John Addison said gets the breaks.

“The shaping events in your life, those moments that in hindsight prove to be crucial turning points, are often events that just seem to happen, out of the blue, the chance confluence of unpredictable circumstances. But the truth is, they don’t “just happen.” Most times, they happen because you’re taking action in the direction of your why. You may not be able to plan the results, but that’s okay: If you keep moving forward, focusing on incremental improvement, you’ll put yourself in their path.

This is one of the most deceptively simple leadership secrets there is: keep moving forward. People won’t follow you if you’re sitting in the corner sucking your thumb and talking about how bad things are. They’ll only follow you if you’re going somewhere.”

The process begins with our decisions.

While there will always be exceptions, in large part our lives are a reflection of our decisions. My mentor Jim Rohn said, “Success comes from a series of good decisions made over time, while failure comes from a series of poor decisions made over time.”

If we want to improve our lives, we must improve our decisions. It’s really that simple.

Every day we make hundreds of little decisions, each influencing one or more areas of our lives. The good news is you know the right answer to 99% of those decisions. The bad news is most of them don’t bri...

Next Episode

10 Most Valuable Human Attributes

Over the last 30 years I have made a list of more than 1000 little things that influence who we become, what we achieve, and how we are viewed by others.

In reviewing this list I selected what I believe to be the 10 most valuable human attributes. These are the 10 things that can have the greatest impact on your career advancements and earnings and are not listed in any specific order.

To learn more about any of the points, simply click the link to read more.

1. Desire – In his famous book Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill said “Desire is the starting point of all achievement.” For things in your life to get better, you must first have the desire for them to get better. For your income to grow, you must first have the desire for it to grow. But simply desiring a better life or higher level of income is not enough. Your desire must be strong enough that you will do what is required of you.

Is your desire to grow your income strong enough that you will do what is required of you each day to increase your value to the market?

2. Discipline – Self-discipline is a pattern of behavior where you choose to do what you know you should do, rather than what you want to do. It’s the inner drive that pushes you to get out of bed to exercise rather than sleeping in. Simply put, it’s doing what you know you should do, but don’t feel like doing and often requires that you push yourself outside your comfort zone.

Are you willing to do what you know you should do every day to increase your income, rather than what you want to do?

3. Accountability – Make no mistake about it: you cannot achieve any worthwhile goal if you don’t hold yourself accountable. The reason is simple. It’s your life! No one is going to hold you accountable to doing what’s required of you to achieve your goals. If you have to be held accountable at work, don’t expect to be promoted or to experience any type of significant career advancement.

Are you willing to hold yourself accountable every day for your actions, responsibilities, and goals?

4. Integrity – While people without integrity may make it to the top, they seldom stay there. The news is full of examples every day. To me, there is no human quality more important than integrity. You can spend a lifetime building your reputation and destroy it in 5 seconds by crossing the line. Remember, the best way to keep from having someone question your integrity is to make sure your integrity is not questionable.

Will you make a commitment to build your life on a foundation of integrity and never cross the line?

5. Respect –Unless it’s your job, would you follow someone you don’t respect? Would you promote someone you don’t respect? Would you recommend or endorse someone you don’t respect? Would you want to be friends with someone you don’t respect? Point made! There are hundreds of little things that influence people’s respect for you, but if I were to give you one tip, it would be to always treat others with respect. People won’t respect you if you don’t respect them.

Are you willing to focus on doing the little things every day that will cause people’s respect for you to grow?

6. Responsibility – My definition of responsibility is doing what is expected of you. When people send you an email, SMS or party initiation, they expect a response in a timely period. When you have appointments, people expect you will be on time. When you have a deadline, people expect you will be done on time. When a person hires you to do a job, they expect you will do the job to the best of your ability.

Will you commit to doing what is expected of you, even if it’s things you didn’t agree to do in advance (like returning a call, SMS, email, or party invitation), in a timely manner?

7. Humility – What type of attitude quickly wins respect? Humility—a modest view of one’s own importance or rank! It’s about being open to the possibility of improvement. By its very nature, humility is not an attitude we ever...