Lightworkers who play in the Dark - Interview with little dickie (my personally collared slave): Creating a Successful Close D/s Relationship While Gaining Personal Growth and Learning

Interview with little dickie (my personally collared slave): Creating a Successful Close D/s Relationship While Gaining Personal Growth and Learning

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10/04/22 • 56 min

In this episode, I have a conversation with my slave, little dickie. The D/s relationship that I have with dickie has been one of the most unpredictable and fulfilling ones I’ve ever experienced. It really taught me how little I knew about how deep and diverse D/s relationships can be. If it weren’t for kink, I probably would not have the good fortune of knowing and appreciating the many beautiful souls who have touched my life over the years. Kink and BDSM is a huge bonding element in most of my friendships. It is because kink cuts though all the superficial facades and straight to a soul connection. It gets real and deep, real fast.

I believe that my respect for dickie’s feelings elevates how he sees me as a domme. He says it makes him much more submissive to me because he feels like I care about him, and he has more trust in me. The important thing to remember is that there is an important distinction between being a domme and being a bully. A bully doesn’t care about the other person’s feelings. My willingness to evaluate and talk about Dickie’s feelings doesn’t detract at all from our DS relationship. It makes it stronger because he feels much more comfortable and safe being submissive to me. Being submissive doesn’t mean they want to be invisible. All subs want to be seen and understood. And to be submissive requires an enormous amount of trust in the domme.

The amount of personal growth and learning that I have gained through my relationships with all my personal slaves, has been exponential. The process of working things out with them has helped me keep my ego in check and taught me a lot about how to be a good person, and in turn, a good Domme. I am in the elevated position in the D/s relationship, but I am not a better person. When I have been in the wrong, and apologized for hurting my slaves’ feelings, humbling myself in this way and showing that I care makes my slaves respect me even more than before.

Underneath our D/s relationships, the foundation of friendship is always there. Real friendship and caring for one another as people has to be there, otherwise the relationship is not sustainable. This goes for all relationships. But the difference in D/s is that the understanding and quality of deference and respect from slave to Mistress is always there, in and out of scene. That’s what sets it apart from vanilla relationships and makes it magical.

It is my adamant belief that when a D/s relationship has a high level of respect, commitment and communication from both parties, success, closeness and happiness is guaranteed.

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This podcast is fully supported by my Patreon patrons - your patronage is much appreciated. As a member of my Patreon community, you will be able to connect with me in fun ways, like participating on the Q&A episodes, BDSM domination episodes, and access to my private Telegram group, where you can ask me questions every week, and do 1-on1 personal video chats with me. Become my patron by going to patreon.com/damianachiphd.

I'd like to send a very special thanks to my Patreon members – this podcast is fully supported by your patronage, and it means so much to me to know that what I’m doing here is appreciated and of value to you:

Duchess Amanda lore Rein, Andres, MaDomme, Domina Flora, sub pussy, Richard L. T., DJW, Evette R, Keith F, Mistress Olivia Holloway, Mistress Velvet, Tracey C, Andrea, Annette K, Betty, Bill B, Bill W, Chris M, Gianina M, Heavenly M, Jake, Karo K, Nodsutsamel, Sylvie, David W, Priestess Francesca, Mike L, Reelback96, Sum A

And many thanks to the editor, the lovely Mistress Persephone Rose. 🌹

Get bonus content on Patreon

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It is my adamant belief that when a D/s relationship has a high level of respect, commitment and communication from both parties, success, closeness and happiness is guaranteed.

---

And many thanks to the editor, the lovely Mistress Persephone Rose. 🌹

Get bonus content on Patreon

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Previous Episode

Q&A: BDSM as it Relates to Neurodivergence, Mental Health, Psychology and Kinksexuality

The following are 4 really great questions from my Patreon members about BDSM as it relates to psychological and mental issues. I’m sure these same issues are on the minds of many kinksters out there, so hopefully, my responses can be of help to some of you who are listening, too. It was a pleasure to offer my responses to the following questions, asked by Kevin, Anna, Zishaan and Jake. The kink journey is an ongoing, lifelong, rewarding one. Exploring kink can bring a deeper understanding of yourself to yourself, as well as help you grow and evolve as a person. Of course, finding the right partners to explore with is of utmost importance, and it can make all the difference in the world in your experience of BDSM.

Kevin:

Hi Mistress Damiana, it’s your old friend Kevin. Here’s a question for your show: I recently I found out that I’ve been a lifelong sufferer of ADD. I see how that has clearly affected my relationships, including play BDSM relationships. I was just wondering if you’ve ever had any experience with folks with such a condition and how would you deal with that, or maybe other minor mental disabilities.

Anna:

Hi Mistress Damiana, this is Anna. I wanted to ask about the mental health aspect of BDSM. I am submissive but I have never actually done a session, so my mental health has never been to great, but over the last few years it has become worse. And I was wondering: do you think it’s possible to become mentally ill because of denying yourself to live out that side of yourself? And also do you think there’s a connection between being submissive and feeling the need to self harm, for example? I guess what I’m asking is: is it such an important part of us that we need to actively live it in order to be OK?

Zishaan:

As somebody who has a background in both clinical psychology and BDSM, how do you see the two of those intersecting, connecting relating to one another? Can BDSM be a tool of healing and growth and if so how? And also I know you have a background in Jungian psychology, so I wanted to ask you whether you have any resources or books that you would recommend people reading to learn more about the psychoanalytic side BDSM?

Jake:

Hello Mistress Chi, my name is Jacob and I have been infatuated with the world of FemDom since I was around 11 or 12 when I first discovered it. I have a memory of being around six years old and making a bet with my best friend, a girl I had known since I was 2, and if I lost the bet she had to sit on my face. Well, I intentionally lost the bet. I was always enticed by the idea of being forced to do something by some beautiful woman. I am currently 25 and though I am a very commanding and authoritative person, I am still infatuated with FemDom and have a sort of FemDom relationship with my wife. Is my love of FemDom simply indicative of my nature, or is that due to the nurture of having been exposed to FemDom for so long as a child?

Sending a personal thank you to my Patreon members:

Duchess Amanda LoreRein, Domina Flora, Richard Tackett, Andres, B, Calahn, Ebethdarlene, Lindsay P., David Z, Jacob M, Jon, Mistress Olivia Holloway, Mistress Velvet, Shamee R, Sharon T, Sum Ad, Tracey C, Bill Bumpus, Betty, Bill W, Jaye D, Karo K, Leah F, Mark R, Nodsutsamel, Patience E, Sylvie, Priestess Francesca, Mike L, and Reelback96.

And many thanks to my editor, the lovely Mistress Persephone Rose. 🌹

➡️ Connect with Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. at damianachiphd.com and on social media @damianachiphd

Get bonus content on Patreon

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Next Episode

6 Submissives share their Positive and Negative BDSM Experiences with Dommes

The following is a recorded interview that I did with 6 sub coaches who staff my Evolutionary Dominatrix Academy. I call them sub coaches because they are submissives who work alongside me in the Academy to coach my students to teach them about the submissive mindset. Submissive psychology is a huge component of my unique FemDom training program, and the personal insight that my sub coaches bring to the education is invaluable. The sub coaches are experienced subs of 20-40 years. They have high levels of self esteem, and are extremely intelligent, self-aware, and giving. They are just as committed as I am, to the mission of preserving our beloved artform of BDSM, and educating the next generations of Lightworker Dommes. My sub coaches are also a core part of my very close-knit kink family. They are my personal slaves, subs and friends whom I love and treasure dearly.

This interview was recorded 2 years ago for the purposes of educating my students. It was never intended to be shared on a public podcast, but I have decided to share it with you because I have heard over and over from my students that this interview had a deep impact on them, and many were moved to tears listening to it. This feedback made me realize that sharing these intimate, personal stories from the point of view of these submissives could benefit many of my listeners.

In this interview with the sub coaches, I asked them to share some personal stories of negative, harmful, or traumatic experiences that they have had with Dommes, and then ones of positive, reparative, healing experiences. Hearing the traumatic stories is very enlightening because subs don’t typically share their painful experiences with anyone. Most of these painful memories had just been kept privately to themselves for years or decades. We have the power to affect another human being on a deep, long lasting level. We can consciously choose to affect someone in a positive healing way, or unconsciously and carelessly affect someone in a negative, hurtful way.

Hearing the sub coaches’ positive stories in this interview were a welcome follow up to the traumatic ones, and were equally impactful, in heartwarming, inspiring ways. These healing stories were just as important to hear, as they are wonderful examples of how Dominatrices who practice BDSM consciously are “Lightworkers who play in the Dark,” as in the title of this podcast. Healing experiences can override the negative ones. I can contend that BDSM, when practiced consciously and correctly, has a powerful healing effect. Many subs I know say that BDSM with their favorite Domme is the best therapy they’ve ever experienced. BDSM sessions heal when done with love.

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I'd like to send a very special thanks to my Patreon members – it means so much to me to know that what I’m doing is appreciated:

Duchess Amanda Lore Rein, Andres, Domina Flora, pussy doll, Richard T, Tonghe L, DJW, Evette R, Karo K, Keith F, Layla L, Tom, Tracey C, Andrea, Annette K, Betty, Bill B, Jake, Nodsutsamel, Persephone Rose, Sylvie, Tom W, Tsarina O, Priestess Francesca, Sum Ad.

And many thanks to the editor, Geoff Nigl.

Get bonus content on Patreon

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.