Ministry Talks: Friendship and Ministry

04/04/19 • 40 min

Life in Relationship

ILMS 20 – Ministry Talks: Friendship and Ministry

1 Samuel 14:1-7 - Jonathan and his armor bearer

Step One of Friendship: Prayer

Step Two: Admitting friendship isn’t easy

Friendship will continue to be a challenge as long as we walk the earth

God = relational, Genesis 2:25

Satan likes isolation

dual relationships

Ministry and friendship are both personal

Step Three: Vulnerability = walking into a situation exposed

no hiding

Boundaries with flexibility

How do we drop the armor satan would put on us and pick up God’s armor so we can walk vulnerably into relationships?

1) Do the inviting

2) Know there will be hurt and pain

3) Two things that grow relationships – awkwardness and forgiveness

4) Addressing expectations directly, having uncomfortable conversations

5) Finding a script

Step Four: Mindfulness = awareness, bringing what is unconscious to consciousness

consider the dynamics at play

6 things to be particularly mindful of for friendship in ministry

1) confidence and confidentiality

2) Misunderstandings and assumptions

3) Differences

4) Baggage

5) Power dynamics in ministry

Address these honestly and upfront

6) Confusion of spirituality

Resources: Uninvited by Lysa Terkheurst

SWF seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche

Focus on the Family article about friendship for teens - https://www.focusonthefamily.com/pare...

Articles on friendship:

The Four Myths of Friendship https://ilovemyshepherd.com/ilovemysh...

Bring me a Friend, Lord! https://ilovemyshepherd.com/ilovemysh...

Tending Friendship https://ilovemyshepherd.com/ilovemysh...

Dessert Night https://ilovemyshepherd.com/ilovemysh...

Moving and friendship – addressed further in episode 15

ILMS 20 – Ministry Talks: Friendship and Ministry

1 Samuel 14:1-7 - Jonathan and his armor bearer

Step One of Friendship: Prayer

Step Two: Admitting friendship isn’t easy

Friendship will continue to be a challenge as long as we walk the earth

God = relational, Genesis 2:25

Satan likes isolation

dual relationships

Ministry and friendship are both personal

Step Three: Vulnerability = walking into a situation exposed

no hiding

Boundaries with flexibility

How do we drop the armor satan would put on us and pick up God’s armor so we can walk vulnerably into relationships?

1) Do the inviting

2) Know there will be hurt and pain

3) Two things that grow relationships – awkwardness and forgiveness

4) Addressing expectations directly, having uncomfortable conversations

5) Finding a script

Step Four: Mindfulness = awareness, bringing what is unconscious to consciousness

consider the dynamics at play

6 things to be particularly mindful of for friendship in ministry

1) confidence and confidentiality

2) Misunderstandings and assumptions

3) Differences

4) Baggage

5) Power dynamics in ministry

Address these honestly and upfront

6) Confusion of spirituality

Resources: Uninvited by Lysa Terkheurst

SWF seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche

Focus on the Family article about friendship for teens - https://www.focusonthefamily.com/pare...

Articles on friendship:

The Four Myths of Friendship https://ilovemyshepherd.com/ilovemysh...

Bring me a Friend, Lord! https://ilovemyshepherd.com/ilovemysh...

Tending Friendship https://ilovemyshepherd.com/ilovemysh...

Dessert Night https://ilovemyshepherd.com/ilovemysh...

Moving and friendship – addressed further in episode 15

Previous Episode

Ten Minutes of Consolation

ILMS 19 – Ten Minutes of Consolation

Consolation – “...the comfort received by a person after a loss or disappointment; a person or thing providing comfort to a person who has suffered...” (google dictionary)

Ten minute truth #1 – There are many and various losses and griefs of life

Ten Minutes Truth #2 – There are two types of consolation we can offer people:

The wrong way – Job 2

The Jesus way – John 11

Ten Minute Truth #3 – The power of showing up

Philippians 2:1-2

Ten Minutes Truth #4 - The Spirit intercedes

Advocate, Comforter, Counselor

The value of words of restoration

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Next Episode

Altogether Beautiful

ILMS 22 – Altogether Beautiful: Middle Schoolers and Teens

Altogether Beautiful Identity

Concept of the Sense of Self

They are asking: What are my personal values and beliefs? What are my goals? What are my ideas? Can I share them?

Ask: What they think about a current event? A big topic?

Build trust by listening, with no judgement, freedom to disagree, gentle guidance/boundaries

Dealing with comparison

Say: You are beautiful. But also You are strong. You are smart. You messed up. You are forgiven. You can figure this out. I’m happy to help. Tell me what you need.

Altogether Beautiful Friendship

Teach social skills: learning to listen, valuing conversation, asking questions, what demands a text, what is a snap chat, social media post, etc. what is public and private, humor v making fun,

Teach friendship skills: showing up when someone needs them, friendship is different than teamwork, friendship is different than similar interests, trust and confidentiality, listening to know, inviting and accepting invitation, encouragement

Find our “Others”:

What do you think a good friend looks like?

What part does forgiveness play in friendship?

What part does accountability and boundaries play in friendship?

Where is Jesus the perfect friend when others fail us?

Altogether Beautiful Faith

Jesus in everything

I Spy God at work

Ask: What is God up to? Where do you see Him? What do you think He wants from you? Where is He sending you?

Intentionally Drawing Near

Big theological concepts are important, relationships are more important