The One Thing You're Missing to Become a Badass Confident Woman Quality Men Can't Resist
08/07/20 • 35 min
Marni welcomes Master Breakthrough Coach, Sherrie Toews back into the Den to talk about how to stop letting life's circumstances keep you from your destiny. The dynamic duo discusses the negative limiting beliefs that lead us to feel unworthy, strategies for overcoming childhood wounding, and the skills and tools available to ignite your life.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- Releasing the baggage childhood
- Transforming the stories we believe about ourselves
- Stepping into your fully actualized self
- How to take control of your life and live courageously
- Resources to help you take action and ignite your life
What Gets in the Way of Being Fully Actualized? [4:28]
Automatic negative limiting beliefs keep us from being fully self-actualized. These limiting beliefs are, in essence, the false acceptance of certain truths or FACTs. They feel real to us because on some level, over time we have made these beliefs our truths.
Sherri asks us ‘what if they aren’t true? What if they are stories we are making up about who we are?’.
To shift our mindsets we have to implement the information our brains take in. This is the implementation phase. We need visceral and somatic reinforcers. But, Sherri says this is where people get tripped up. They fear the unknown and they fear asking for help. So little by little limiting beliefs regain their hold over us.
The little ‘whos’ are the younger parts of us that suffered wounds in childhood. If we were overwhelmed psychologically when we were young, we turned inward and decided there was something wrong with us or that we were not good enough. We make adult decisions based on childhood wounds. It’s the little 'whos' who trip up our progress when we are trying to shift our lives.
Our little ‘whos’ don't like uncertainty and in dating, nothing is guaranteed.
Live Courageously & Date with Dignity [18:18]
To take control of your life you have to learn to live courageously and release your fears. Because there is something beyond the fear which stretches our capacity to implement and grow.
Many women share a common fear of not being worthy or of being too much.
Simple steps to ignite your life
- Ask yourself, what action can I take to change?
- Expect nervousness or fear.
- Consider who you can ask for help.
- Be aware of old patterns from past relationships.
Ignite Your Life Now! [27:23]
Marni and the Dating with Dignity team are ready, willing, and able to ignite your life, now.
Get the skills and tools you need to create a robust fire in your heart:
- Join the Facebook Group
-
- Full of like-minded listeners and Marni’s meditations and tips.
- DWD new series, WTF? Will Someone Just Tell Me Why…
-
- 3 Full episodes and a 3-day live, virtual finale, Sept 11-13
Make the choice to stop letting life's circumstances stop you from being fully actualized.
Make a Connection:
<...
Marni welcomes Master Breakthrough Coach, Sherrie Toews back into the Den to talk about how to stop letting life's circumstances keep you from your destiny. The dynamic duo discusses the negative limiting beliefs that lead us to feel unworthy, strategies for overcoming childhood wounding, and the skills and tools available to ignite your life.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- Releasing the baggage childhood
- Transforming the stories we believe about ourselves
- Stepping into your fully actualized self
- How to take control of your life and live courageously
- Resources to help you take action and ignite your life
What Gets in the Way of Being Fully Actualized? [4:28]
Automatic negative limiting beliefs keep us from being fully self-actualized. These limiting beliefs are, in essence, the false acceptance of certain truths or FACTs. They feel real to us because on some level, over time we have made these beliefs our truths.
Sherri asks us ‘what if they aren’t true? What if they are stories we are making up about who we are?’.
To shift our mindsets we have to implement the information our brains take in. This is the implementation phase. We need visceral and somatic reinforcers. But, Sherri says this is where people get tripped up. They fear the unknown and they fear asking for help. So little by little limiting beliefs regain their hold over us.
The little ‘whos’ are the younger parts of us that suffered wounds in childhood. If we were overwhelmed psychologically when we were young, we turned inward and decided there was something wrong with us or that we were not good enough. We make adult decisions based on childhood wounds. It’s the little 'whos' who trip up our progress when we are trying to shift our lives.
Our little ‘whos’ don't like uncertainty and in dating, nothing is guaranteed.
Live Courageously & Date with Dignity [18:18]
To take control of your life you have to learn to live courageously and release your fears. Because there is something beyond the fear which stretches our capacity to implement and grow.
Many women share a common fear of not being worthy or of being too much.
Simple steps to ignite your life
- Ask yourself, what action can I take to change?
- Expect nervousness or fear.
- Consider who you can ask for help.
- Be aware of old patterns from past relationships.
Ignite Your Life Now! [27:23]
Marni and the Dating with Dignity team are ready, willing, and able to ignite your life, now.
Get the skills and tools you need to create a robust fire in your heart:
- Join the Facebook Group
-
- Full of like-minded listeners and Marni’s meditations and tips.
- DWD new series, WTF? Will Someone Just Tell Me Why…
-
- 3 Full episodes and a 3-day live, virtual finale, Sept 11-13
Make the choice to stop letting life's circumstances stop you from being fully actualized.
Make a Connection:
<...
Previous Episode
With Kelley Anne Bonner: How Burnout Can Keep You Stuck in Bad Dating Habits
Marni welcomes an experienced therapist and gender equality victim’s rights advocate Kelley Anne Bonner into the Den to talk about how burnout affects your body, dating, and work. Kelley is an expert in burnout and created Burn Bright, a company dedicated to helping creative, big-hearted ‘helping’ professionals battle burnout. She helps the people who take care of the world to take care of themselves.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- The signs of being burnt out
- Being true to your authentic self
- How to avoid burnout in dating
- What happens after burnout
- How to have compassion for your big-hearted self
ABC’s of Burnout Prevention [2:55]
Kelley hit bottom when she was in her 20s and working in the largest maximum-security prison in New York state. She kept smiling for the people she served but would find in herself figuratively in a puddle on the floor, drained of her joy. She quit her job before she had another lined up.
Kelley says many people have burnout but don’t even realize they have it.
Burnout is a state of emotional and physical exhaustion. The person experiencing burnout has no joy and feels hopeless.
The cost of frantically running around is that you lose yourself and once you’ve lost yourself it’s a countdown to imploding.
When you are in burnout your body and your nervous system are in dysregulation. Mindfulness and meditation can help. The first step to move passed burnout is to regulate your nervous system. The second step is to shift your mindset. Get your body in a relaxed state so your body can receive information.
When your mindset is tapped into your authentic self, you are going to automatically get all the things in life that you want.
Have Dating Burnout? [21:49]
Are you pushing yourself to be engaging with toxic people or people who don't match the criteria you want? When people get burnout in dating they are not being true to themselves. There is a difference in discernment and being picky.
Kelley encourages us to be clear about what we want, in dating and date people who are authentic. Because when we date a guy a second time who wasn't a good fit on the first date it can cause burnout. The joy/authenticity piece is missing.
When you are true to yourself joy naturally comes from it. The minute you stray away from authenticity you are heading toward burnout.
How-to Stave Off Burnout While Dating [26:16]
There is nothing beneficial about beating yourself up, especially when a date or series of dates doesn’t work out. It causes you to stay paralyzed at best or go backward. Have compassion for yourself because of course, you want to give someone a second chance, of course, you want to find love, you are a big-hearted person.
Tips for eliminating dating burnout:
- Be in your best mental state and highest vibration when dating.
- Make sure you have boundaries. Don't hang with people who drain your energy and dim your light.
- Be clear and honest about where you are and if you are ready to date.
We are all good people just trying to figure it all out.
Make a Connection:
Next Episode
With Marie: Is Your Dating Dread Keeping You Stuck and Single?
To celebrate Ignite Your Life (IYL) month, Marni welcomes former IYL attendee and Dating With Dignity client, Marie into the Den. Marie shares why this experience was significant for her, why women should prioritize this aspect of their lives, and how her dating life changed after attending the event.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- How to shift limiting beliefs
- Embracing vulnerability
- Investing time into what you value
- Why being needy isn’t a bad thing
- How you can Ignite Your Life
You Have to Start Somewhere [2:18]
Marie was floored when her eldest niece got engaged. She had been excelling in all other parts of her life except dating. It was the kick she needed to make her take action. She says she happened upon one of Marni’s early videos and it eventually changed her life.
At first, she didn’t want to be one of the women who needed to attend the Ignite Your Life event. She felt like a loser in love. Yet, when she arrived she noticed everyone there looked like her, a sharp, successful, and single woman.
The community I met at Ignite Your Life made me realize I was not an outcast and I was not alone.
Shifting Your Narrative [15:14]
Marie experienced an awakening during the 3-day investment that was well worth the time. The lessons were efficient and effective. From the style consultant, she realized she had been hiding her feminine side under her business casual clothes. From the belief exercise, she learned what long-held beliefs were holding her back.
She realized, in dating, it is not about whether men liked her. It was a monumental shift when it registered that dating was to find out if I liked them.
You deserve to be happy.
A Powerful Journey [23:50]
Marie continues to learn that the only way to deepen her connections is for her to be vulnerable. She still reminds herself to ask for what she needs without worrying about a guy’s reaction. She used to categorize it as needy, now she knows it is just information. Needy used to be labeled as bad but really it is just being human.
Asking for what you need from your heart space is like a roadmap for your partner.
Marie says she met some lifelong friends at the Ignite Your Life event and it was worth the time and monetary investment.
Make a Connection:
Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!
Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show
Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates
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