Coaching Allison: Why Are You Attracting the Wrong Type of Guy?
09/04/20 • 33 min
In this episode of the Dating Den, Marni coaches Allison, who is living in Italy trying to avoid the ‘I give up’ syndrome because she is not attracting the right guys online. She asks Marni for guidance about how to filter through her options faster and how to create a more focused approach to her dating life. Her goal is to find a guy who shares her values and vision.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- Learn better filtering techniques
- Empower yourself to ask for a date
- Make your profile more authentic to who you are
- Get off the device and on to the date
- Be curious, open, and optimistic in dating
Allison’s Typical Dating Experience [2:09]
Before COVID Allison was dating online and going out with people she met a few times a month. But she was overwhelmed by meeting so many guys that were different than who she thought they would be. She is really hoping for in-person chemistry.
Marni gives Allison permission to ask for an in-person date faster. She warns that Allison may be creating pseudo-intimacy with a person because the chatting back and forth mimics interest and connection. But by the time Allison actually meets the guy, it is disappointing because the connection isn’t real.
There is nothing to fear. We are all just human beings who want to find a partner.
If someone isn't willing to make a plan, it lets you know about his interest level and his integrity. Traditional gender roles don't apply until you meet. There is too much to do in today’s world. You don't need a penpal or to create a false sense of connection.
Creating Your Online Brand [15:52]
Allison says she is cautious about adding that she wants a long-term relationship and kids to her profile. Marni encourages her to be clear, direct, and her authentic self. She uses the analogy of a department store not marketing to its target market. The point hits home with Allison, who is tired of wasting time.
Your online brand should be creative, engaging, flirty, and fun.
If you create a better online brand for yourself, you are going on dates curious, open, and optimistic about whether the person you are with has the same vision and values as you. The bottom line is that you want to rock the boat and shake out the guys who aren’t what you are looking for more quickly.
Make a Connection:
Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!
Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show
Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates
In this episode of the Dating Den, Marni coaches Allison, who is living in Italy trying to avoid the ‘I give up’ syndrome because she is not attracting the right guys online. She asks Marni for guidance about how to filter through her options faster and how to create a more focused approach to her dating life. Her goal is to find a guy who shares her values and vision.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- Learn better filtering techniques
- Empower yourself to ask for a date
- Make your profile more authentic to who you are
- Get off the device and on to the date
- Be curious, open, and optimistic in dating
Allison’s Typical Dating Experience [2:09]
Before COVID Allison was dating online and going out with people she met a few times a month. But she was overwhelmed by meeting so many guys that were different than who she thought they would be. She is really hoping for in-person chemistry.
Marni gives Allison permission to ask for an in-person date faster. She warns that Allison may be creating pseudo-intimacy with a person because the chatting back and forth mimics interest and connection. But by the time Allison actually meets the guy, it is disappointing because the connection isn’t real.
There is nothing to fear. We are all just human beings who want to find a partner.
If someone isn't willing to make a plan, it lets you know about his interest level and his integrity. Traditional gender roles don't apply until you meet. There is too much to do in today’s world. You don't need a penpal or to create a false sense of connection.
Creating Your Online Brand [15:52]
Allison says she is cautious about adding that she wants a long-term relationship and kids to her profile. Marni encourages her to be clear, direct, and her authentic self. She uses the analogy of a department store not marketing to its target market. The point hits home with Allison, who is tired of wasting time.
Your online brand should be creative, engaging, flirty, and fun.
If you create a better online brand for yourself, you are going on dates curious, open, and optimistic about whether the person you are with has the same vision and values as you. The bottom line is that you want to rock the boat and shake out the guys who aren’t what you are looking for more quickly.
Make a Connection:
Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!
Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP
Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show
Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates
Previous Episode
With Stephanie Dawn: Stop Making Up Stories That are Preventing You From Dating Successfully
Are you ready to release your magic? In this episode of the Dating Den, Marni welcomes Intuitive Transformational Coach Stephanie Dawn to discuss how-to awaken, embody, and amplify the magic you already have inside of you. Stephanie is on a soul mission to change the idea that magic is something outside of ourselves.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- How-to tap into your intuition
- Ways to fully surrender into vulnerability
- Honoring what is true for you
- The importance of rebuilding trust with yourself
Discover Your Inner Magic [1:49]
Many of us seek magic in other people, a job, or something outside of us. It’s as if we expect something external to ignite the fire within us. But, what if we focused on listening to our inner magic, our intuition that tells us when we are on the right path?
Before her breakthrough, Stephanie says she was the type of woman who was always in a relationship. Her self-worth was based on what other people thought it was. But, 2 years ago, she realized her life wasn’t what it was supposed to be. She was working toward checking off all the boxes. She was engaged, she was working to create a successful business but something was off.
My intuition was trying to tell me that something wasn’t right.
“We've been conditioned to think and feel the same way. It’s deep programming about what supposedly will bring women fulfillment” she says. To fully bring forth our inner magic we need to ask the deep questions of ourselves similar to the questions we ask of others.
How much do I trust myself?
Am I doing something that will make me whole?
The Ascension Path [9:32]
The ascension path is getting in touch with your magic. It is stepping into who you are and who you truly are. Uncovering your soul path and purpose can carry some weight and seem daunting, but just getting in touch with your magic and stepping into who you are is attainable.
During the 2020 pandemic is a good time to look at your life and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself, what you need, and what has changed for you. What beliefs don’t feel right for you anymore?
Stephanie reminds us that the big struggle is when we try to look at what everyone else is doing. If you have never actually listened to what is going on in your head, or your intuition, it can be hard to honor it. But, resisting it is harder over the long term.
It’s important to follow through with what comes through when tapping into our intuition and use the energy we feel.
Communicating Your Magic [25:14]
Don't minimize your reactions or feelings. It's important to talk about it. If something affects you positively or negatively show it and discuss it with your partner. It’s not healthy to be the cool girl.
Know that what you have to say is worth hearing. If you are in a relationship the other person wants to know. Any conversation that tells your partner what you need is a good conversation.
Being specific really helps a guy. Remember ladies, there is no manual.
It all comes down to you and your magic. You wouldn't just set magic on a shelf, you would nurture it and show it off.
Love is the most magic thing but it can only be magic if you recognize your magic in it.
Make a Connection:
Next Episode
With Amy Ogden: Take Action and Make the Moves to Find Your High Quality Guy
In this episode of the Dating Den, Marni speaks with Speaker, Coach, and Branding Expert, Amy Ogden about genuine ways to make human connections during and beyond the COVID pandemic. Amy is the brainchild behind ‘How to Catch a Human in the Wild’ and the ‘Sufficiency is Sexy’ TedX Talk.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- Tips to expand your human network
- Natural, organic, genuine ways to bring people into your life
- Why it’s important to put down your phone
- How to strengthen your human connection muscle
- Living life with ‘New Girl’ energy
Catching a Human In the Wild [6:18]
Amy believes in making simple 30-second connections with other humans as she traverses NYC. She makes a commitment for the day to not use her phone during her idle times and instead focuses on the humans around her. Her intention is to make someone else’s day just a little bit better.
During this pandemic, people are realizing just how alone they really are. They are begging for connection right now. She says if you are at home behind a screen, love on people through social media. If you get out of the house, love on people with a compliment.
The key to making human contact is compliments and questions. It gives you something to talk about.
Catching human connection is a social muscle you develop over time. Be fearless with love and be fearless with kindness.
Use ‘New Girl’ Energy to Make Contact and Stay in Touch [13:24]
As a woman, it is impossible for you to be creepy, so be the hero and start a conversation. Get rid of the boundaries and barriers you've been creating for years. Use exploratory energy to make the human connections you so greatly deserve. What if your new friend has a brother or co-worker who would be perfect for you?
Remember, it’s about collecting data to rule a person in, not rule them out. It’s so easy to get stuck in our self-imposed status quo.
Amy’s Tips for Making Connections:
- Talk to people who are paid to be nice to you.
- Talk to the people you are comfortable talking with such as kids, other women, or the elderly.
- Don't be afraid to bait people. Give people reasons to talk to you like wearing a shirt with a team logo on it.
Sufficiency is Sexy [28:27]
In Amy’s TedX Talk, Sufficiency is Sexy: The Rest is House Money, she describes how fun life can be when you take chances. Her advice is to quit holding on to what you think is going to make you happy. When you look back, you will realize that you set a bunch of goals, achieved the goals, and then set new ones. When do you take the time to celebrate?
Imagine sitting with your younger self and telling them how great their life turns out. Take a moment to savor how awesome you have become.
You are a human being living a human experience. Don't live your life looking at screens and ignoring the beautiful souls around you.
Make a Connection:
Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here!
Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here!
Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at
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