13. Helping Your Neurodivergent Child Become More Independent

02/15/23 • 26 min

If you are raising a child diagnosed with autism, ADHD, or anxiety, the uncertainty of their future can feel very anxiety-provoking. Will they learn to drive? Will they be able to live on their own? Will they be happy?

One gift of parenting a child developing on their own path and timetable is that you learn quickly to let go of any plans beyond about a school year’s span of time. You learn to remain present in solving the problems and celebrating the wins of today. You appreciate even a small milestone because you have watched your child struggle to do things and you notice the relief and pride on their face when they are finally able to do it. The flip side of this experience, of course, is not knowing if and when your child will become independent with various skills.

Honestly, no parent knows for sure what the future holds for their child, but when your child struggles developmentally, making predictions for tomorrow based on your child’s skills today is very hard to do. What we can do is financially plan for the future and focus on nurturing skills today. In today’s episode, I’m sharing tips on how to motivate neurodivergent kids who might have a short attention span, narrow (but deep) interests, and are not motivated by what other people think of them.

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Learn with Dr. Emily is edited by Earfluence.

Helpful Resources
Parent Workshops - https://learnwithdremily.substack.com/s/parent-workshops
Professional Development - Bring Dr. Emily to Your School - https://www.learnwithdremily.com/schools

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Sign up for Dr. Emily's weekly newsletter at www.learnwithdremily.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit learnwithdremily.substack.com.

Learn with Dr. Emily is edited by Earfluence.

Helpful Resources
Parent Workshops - https://learnwithdremily.substack.com/s/parent-workshops
Professional Development - Bring Dr. Emily to Your School - https://www.learnwithdremily.com/schools

Previous Episode

12. Was That Behavior Intentional or Was That a Stress Response?

One of the most common questions I receive from parents is this: How do I know if my child’s behavior is due to their disability or if they are doing it on purpose?

Because our neurodivergent children present with skill weaknesses that occur internally, like those related to emotional dysregulation and executive functioning, when they are asked to do something they don’t have the capacity for at the moment, the first sign of distress is often avoidance or an emotional meltdown. But consider this: We would never discipline a child with a broken leg for not running a race. So, once we understand that our child’s behavior is not a choice, but rather a stress response related to the overwhelm of the situation, we support them rather than discipline them. But, there are still times when children need limits to learn how to stay safe and become independent. So, how can we tell the difference?

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Sign up for Dr. Emily's weekly newsletter at www.learnwithdremily.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit learnwithdremily.substack.com.

Learn with Dr. Emily is edited by Earfluence.

Helpful Resources
Parent Workshops - https://learnwithdremily.substack.com/s/parent-workshops
Professional Development - Bring Dr. Emily to Your School - https://www.learnwithdremily.com/schools

Next Episode

14. Top 5 Roadblocks to Effective Parent-Teacher Collaboration

All parents and educators want what is best for the child. But when it comes to supporting a child with a complex constellation of strengths and needs within a group of children who also have their own constellation of strengths and needs, it gets complicated.

Here's how to break through.

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Sign up for Dr. Emily's weekly newsletter at www.learnwithdremily.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit learnwithdremily.substack.com.

Learn with Dr. Emily is edited by Earfluence.

Helpful Resources
Parent Workshops - https://learnwithdremily.substack.com/s/parent-workshops
Professional Development - Bring Dr. Emily to Your School - https://www.learnwithdremily.com/schools