Joe Alberici on True Toughness
10/04/23 • 82 min
Joe Alberici is currently the Head Men’s Lacrosse Coach at Army – West Point. We could just have a conversation on lacrosse and that would be fascinating and how he leads, but being at Army and experiencing West Point, he’s going to bring a lot of the leadership principles that exist on that campus, and it is a unique special place and he’s going to take us behind the curtain as far as what makes Army – West Point so special. He’s going to talk specifically around captainship and leadership in this conversation. If Joe sounds familiar to you, he gave a speech that went viral recently about this notion of being a tough guy at life and how important it is to be inclusive and rethink about how we often think about toughness. And when I think about our military and I think about cadets that might go through West Point, we certainly think of them as physically tough, but Joe’s going to talk about in this conversation how much he values mental toughness and emotional toughness. I think you’re going to find Joe to be pretty holistically sound. We talk about culture, we talk about leadership, and how proud and how fortunate he feels to have the opportunity to coach at Army. And look, Army Lacrosse has become a contender. They beat the University of Maryland lacrosse team last year in the NCAA tournament; Maryland had won the National Championship the year before. So, he is coaching high level lacrosse players who also have a pride and a determination and a desire to serve our country. So, if I think about the type of people I would want my children to be coached by, I think about Coach Joe and I think about how he leverages his own faith, how he leverages his own philosophy, his upbringing, and his experience to pour into the student athletes that he surrounds himself with. So, this is a masterclass in humility, in confidence, in belief, and in having values and principles and being led by those.
Joe had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include:
“I’ve got a couple of built-in things to keep me humble” (6:15).
“I need to serve [my student athletes]. They deserve the best” (7:25).
“I look at [greatness] as something to aspire towards” (9:25).
“The way we honor the tradition is by building upon it” (11:30).
“We embrace [tradition], but we are always looking for better ways to do it” (12:50).
“There’s so many important things you do at the United States Military Academy... but what I’m of firm belief of... is there’s nothing more impactful than their time in our lacrosse family” (18:00).
“So much is made of the challenges here at West Point. The untold story is... there’s no place that supports you more than West Point” (20:45).
“When they accept you at West Point, they’re not telling you you’re good enough to get in, they’re telling you you’re good enough to graduate” (22:15).
“There’s a vulnerability that myself and my staff, we’re the first to model, and it permeates through our organization” (23:30).
“We tend to gravitate towards what we love the most; often what we love the most is what we do the best” (30:35).
“Our mission is to become a West Point man” (31:10).
“One of our pillars is being unrelenting towards excellence [in all that we do]” (31:40).
“You get to show up in this locker room with some of the greatest people you’ll ever know” (40:25).
“We’re above moral victories in this program. That’s not what we’re showing up to do against anybody” (47:00).
“It doesn’t really matter if we’re the better team than them. It only matters that we’re better for those 60 minutes” (47:15).
“Any time I have young people to speak to, I deliver the exact same message, and it is about being a tough guy or a tough girl” (54:00).
“It’s really important to give 100% 100% of the time” (56:20).
“One of the ways you demonstrate toughness is by being inclusive” (58:10).
“That decision to [bring others in] will make you better” (59:00).
“Don’t wait for the thank you, the appreciation. Just do it because it’s right” (1:03:35).
“If the leadership model is to bring everyone in, you’ve got to be humble enough to not have your stamp on it” (1:16:10).
“Be the model” (1:17:15).
“We want a team full of leaders. But part of being a great leader is you have to be humble” (1:17:55).
Additionally, you can follow Joe on Twitter and you can follow the Army Lacrosse Team on Twitter and Instagram.
Thank you so much to Joe for coming on the podcast!
I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on
Joe Alberici is currently the Head Men’s Lacrosse Coach at Army – West Point. We could just have a conversation on lacrosse and that would be fascinating and how he leads, but being at Army and experiencing West Point, he’s going to bring a lot of the leadership principles that exist on that campus, and it is a unique special place and he’s going to take us behind the curtain as far as what makes Army – West Point so special. He’s going to talk specifically around captainship and leadership in this conversation. If Joe sounds familiar to you, he gave a speech that went viral recently about this notion of being a tough guy at life and how important it is to be inclusive and rethink about how we often think about toughness. And when I think about our military and I think about cadets that might go through West Point, we certainly think of them as physically tough, but Joe’s going to talk about in this conversation how much he values mental toughness and emotional toughness. I think you’re going to find Joe to be pretty holistically sound. We talk about culture, we talk about leadership, and how proud and how fortunate he feels to have the opportunity to coach at Army. And look, Army Lacrosse has become a contender. They beat the University of Maryland lacrosse team last year in the NCAA tournament; Maryland had won the National Championship the year before. So, he is coaching high level lacrosse players who also have a pride and a determination and a desire to serve our country. So, if I think about the type of people I would want my children to be coached by, I think about Coach Joe and I think about how he leverages his own faith, how he leverages his own philosophy, his upbringing, and his experience to pour into the student athletes that he surrounds himself with. So, this is a masterclass in humility, in confidence, in belief, and in having values and principles and being led by those.
Joe had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include:
“I’ve got a couple of built-in things to keep me humble” (6:15).
“I need to serve [my student athletes]. They deserve the best” (7:25).
“I look at [greatness] as something to aspire towards” (9:25).
“The way we honor the tradition is by building upon it” (11:30).
“We embrace [tradition], but we are always looking for better ways to do it” (12:50).
“There’s so many important things you do at the United States Military Academy... but what I’m of firm belief of... is there’s nothing more impactful than their time in our lacrosse family” (18:00).
“So much is made of the challenges here at West Point. The untold story is... there’s no place that supports you more than West Point” (20:45).
“When they accept you at West Point, they’re not telling you you’re good enough to get in, they’re telling you you’re good enough to graduate” (22:15).
“There’s a vulnerability that myself and my staff, we’re the first to model, and it permeates through our organization” (23:30).
“We tend to gravitate towards what we love the most; often what we love the most is what we do the best” (30:35).
“Our mission is to become a West Point man” (31:10).
“One of our pillars is being unrelenting towards excellence [in all that we do]” (31:40).
“You get to show up in this locker room with some of the greatest people you’ll ever know” (40:25).
“We’re above moral victories in this program. That’s not what we’re showing up to do against anybody” (47:00).
“It doesn’t really matter if we’re the better team than them. It only matters that we’re better for those 60 minutes” (47:15).
“Any time I have young people to speak to, I deliver the exact same message, and it is about being a tough guy or a tough girl” (54:00).
“It’s really important to give 100% 100% of the time” (56:20).
“One of the ways you demonstrate toughness is by being inclusive” (58:10).
“That decision to [bring others in] will make you better” (59:00).
“Don’t wait for the thank you, the appreciation. Just do it because it’s right” (1:03:35).
“If the leadership model is to bring everyone in, you’ve got to be humble enough to not have your stamp on it” (1:16:10).
“Be the model” (1:17:15).
“We want a team full of leaders. But part of being a great leader is you have to be humble” (1:17:55).
Additionally, you can follow Joe on Twitter and you can follow the Army Lacrosse Team on Twitter and Instagram.
Thank you so much to Joe for coming on the podcast!
I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on
Previous Episode
Tim Chi on Lessons from Entrepreneurship
Tim Chi is the Chief Executive Officer of The Knot Worldwide. After getting married in 2005, Tim set out to make wedding planning less stressful and frustrating. Together with his co-founders Jeff, Lee and Sonny, they threw four desks into his empty living room in Chevy Chase, Maryland and created WeddingWire, which became a leading global vendor marketplace serving the wedding industry, helping millions of engaged couples plan, execute and celebrate the most important day of their lives. WeddingWire grew to 1,000 employees worldwide and owned leading wedding brands in North America, Europe, South America and India. In 2019, Tim became CEO of The Knot Worldwide following the merger of XO Group Inc. (parent company of The Knot) and WeddingWire Inc. Previously, Tim co-founded Blackboard Inc. in 1998. While at Blackboard, Tim pioneered many of Blackboard’s flagship products and strategic initiatives, bringing technology into the classrooms of colleges, universities and school districts across the world. During his tenure, the company raised over $100 million in capital and was taken public on the Nasdaq in 2004.
Tim holds a B.S. in operations research and industrial engineering from Cornell University and an M.S. in engineering management from Tufts University. He resides in Maryland with his family and is based out of The Knot Worldwide’s Chevy Chase headquarters.
Tim had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include:
“I actually do try to separate the idea of video game time from screen time” (7:20).
“Video gaming time [for my kids] is generally done with me” (7:30).
“We’re trying to create an intentional balance around exposing [our kids] to different things” (10:35).
“A lot of dedicated athletes do really well in any occupation I think because of that discipline and because of the team winning mentality” (12:10).
“I just know I’m not good at a lot of things” (13:25).
“In order to really excel, you need to have complementary skillsets at the table” (13:35).
“My chance of success is much improved if I’m working with partners” (14:05).
“Everything starts with relationships because that’s where trust gets built” (14:35).
“I tend not to take up as much headspace thinking about things that I’m not an expert in or I can’t connect with” (21:20).
“Disruption is natural” (22:15).
“Everybody has really good ideas, the difference is entrepreneurs do something about it; they’re willing to take a risk” (22:25).
“I like to think of myself as a realist with slightly rose-colored glasses on everything” (35:20).
“Video gaming is one of my escapes” (36:05)
“Everybody is entitled to make mistakes. It really is what did you learn from it?” (37:30).
“We know people are going to move on [from our company] and that life circumstances change. But what would be great is if people that left here said ‘I learned something, I took something away that helped me move to that next thing...’ That to me is success” (42:30).
“The how and when you implement it, those tend to have to get pessimized a lot” (47:30).
“I’m sort of just generally bullish on the idea that access to information and knowledge is a good thing for the world” (52:30).
“Start with a problem statement. What are we trying to solve here?” (56:00).
“Culture sits there as a broad-based thing, norms are how it shows up daily” (59:10).
“I do try to be very self-reflective about things and just in my own mental model always learning” (1:01:05).
“My personal development has really come from other people who I trust who I’ve built relationships with pushing me forward” (1:02:30).
Additionally, you can connect with Tim himself on LinkedIn here, and also follow The Knot Worldwide on LinkedIn here.
Thank you so much to Tim for coming on the podcast!
I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers
Next Episode
Nita Farahany on Cognitive Liberty
Nita Farahany is one of those people that I get the pleasure of interviewing that when I read her bio or hear her speak or read her stuff, I’m thinking to myself how the heck am I going to interview this person who is ten times smarter and more accomplished than I am. And that is the truth, I’m not just lowering my intelligence for the sake of this conversation or this introduction; it is how I feel. I get nervous and anxious talking to people like Nita. And so, I’m going to give you Nita’s bio, and then I want you to listen to this conversation. And more than the bio and more than the information and knowledge and wisdom that she shares, what I appreciate about Nita is how down to earth she was. And I’ve seen her in person on stage, I’ve watched TED Talks, I’ve read her book, and I think if you’re sitting back and receiving that content when she’s in performance mode, it is awe inspiring. She’s someone who’s brilliant and shares her brilliance in an efficient, profound way, which I really struggle with. And once again, this conversation is about as authentic, genuine, real, vulnerable, as any that I’ve had. And so, her capacity to share her knowledge and wisdom in a setting where she’s expected to do so, at a level that is just extremely high, as a world-class thinker, is incredible. And then her ability to bring it down to earth and share it with people like myself is really what I’m truly grateful for.
So, here’s her bio: she’s a pioneering futurist and authority on laws, ethics, and technology. She’s a distinguished professor of law and philosophy and founding director of Duke University’s Science and Society Initiative. In her book, The Battle for Your Brain, which we discuss quite frequently in this conversation, she champions cognitive liberty, which is really at the core of today’s conversation. And a lot of Nita’s work is around this framework, this ideology, this thought, this concept, of cognitive liberty and how that shakes up and shows itself in a digital era, a digital environment, that we are all living in. Her insights shared from TED stages to global policy forums, guide responsible advancements in science and technology. Her background educationally: she received an AB in Genetics, Cell, and Development Biology from Dartmouth, an ALM in Biology from Harvard, a JD and MA from Duke University, as well as a PhD in Philosophy.
You’re going to love this conversation. We go into parenting, we go into philosophy, we go into ethics, we really run a broad range of subjects, and I love people with range, so I know you’re going to love Nina too.
Nita had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include:
“Everything gets filtered through a lens for me of kids” (8:30).
“I have girls, and I [want them to see] it’s okay to have a career and it’s okay to have times that are about developing that career” (10:40).
“I say no a lot to external opportunities, especially when my kids are young” (11:20).
“For any working parent with children, we feel that struggle all the time of how do you show up for your kids in ways that are meaningful and impactful and how do you have the impact you want to have on the world, which also could change the world you’re creating for them, not just at the micro level but at the macro level as well?” (12:10).
“When I say that I arm myself with knowledge, that doesn’t come just from books” (14:05).
“A parent who thinks they know everything is quickly schooled by their children that they know nothing at all” (15:25).
“The biggest thing I’ve had to grapple with as a parent is being less of a control freak” (16:05).
“I hope my kids feel like they have the freedom to figure out who they are and what they’re passionate about and know that no matter what I’m there behind them” (24:05).
“Sometimes we become so comfortable in our lesson plans that we forget what we’re trying to teach” (26:15).
“Ultimately what we’re trying to teach is people thinking freely so they can navigate the world” (27:05).
“Cognitive liberty is the right to self-determination over our brain’s mental experiences” (29:45).
“The ability to have an inner monologue, a space of mental reprieve, a place where you can figure out who you are or what you like or don’t like or choose what you share with people or don’t share with people, I think matters so much more to people than they really realize” (35:40).
“Your right to cognitive liberty should be what governs your choices, not somebody else making the choices about what your brain and mental experiences will look like and feel like and be shaped by without any input that you might have otherwise” (38:20).
“Choosing to erase a memory has consequences, and those consequences include developing the resilience to overcome a breakup and to learn from it, to incorporate and understand and refine what it is that you’...
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