Influence Psychology and Persuasion - Mike Sweet - 10 Minute Coach - Develop and Discover - 016 - Motivated by success? Probably not

016 - Motivated by success? Probably not

08/15/16 • 11 min

Influence Psychology and Persuasion - Mike Sweet - 10 Minute Coach - Develop and Discover

This is session number 016 of the Influence Psychology and Persuasion podcast. This show investigates how humans are motivated. Are you playing to your own strengths and do you understand what drives you the most? Statistics and human nature dictates that we are far more likely to make a decision if that decision eliminates either FEAR or LOSS. Examples: Your boss asks you to work another 2 hours on Wednesday evening. If you do this you will earn another £20! Feel motivated to do this? Most of us would base this on whether we needed that additional £20, but how about you boss saying if you don't work on Wednesday evening you'd lose £20 per week from your salary? Think about that for a moment! Changing banks and utility suppliers is a very common one. Comparison sites show you what you can save if you shift, but add that up to what we may lose as a result of changing. What are the Risks associated with changing, what's the hassle that you will have to go through? Car insurers don't tend to have this issue as this is more accepted as a simple process. 1-2-1 therapy, business coaching and performance coaches all talk in terms of the big goal and what you want to achieve. Creating the compelling outcome and that will give you drive for the journey. However, history and psychology tell us a much different story. The truth is, we are far more motivated to take initial action to get away from fear, pain, and anxiety, than we are for achieving a goal or getting a reward. Take a look at this from Usain Bolt "

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015 - Generating Confidence at Any Time

This is session number 015 of the Influence Psychology and Persuasion podcast. In this show, I'll be discussing confidence and a misunderstanding about feelings in general.

I’m not very confident doing that. Or, I’m just not confident in those situations. These are common sayings for people every day, and as the listener, we seem to accept, without challenge this type of statement.

But..... as confidence is just a feeling, and we have to create our own feelings, why do we seem to think, this magic confidence dust happens by itself without our control or input. We seem to assume this “confidence” thing is a mystery.

The facts about Generating Confidence

Well, today I’ll go over some interesting facts about feelings and more importantly confidence. No longer will you have to be subject to the confidence fairy to see whether you’ll be blessed with confidence whenever and wherever you need it. It's time to gain control and have it when you need the stuff.

The first principle we need to cover should hopefully be clear. You have to “do” all of your feelings. No one else is in charge and no one can make you feel anything. Did you get that? No one else can make you feel anything. Just to reiterate as an example. Your neighbour didn't make you angry, your spouse didn't try to frustrate you. Feelings aren't given, they are taken. And feelings don't just appear, you create them.

So how do we create feelings that we want? The first answer that you will hear most often, will be to think confidently or positively. This is totally true and a reasonable start You do need to think and talk to yourself positively and confidently. However, there is a slight issue that most of us face. When we try to put on a brave face or brave attitude, and we start the positive internal incantations, the other little voices kick-in. You know the ones? The little guys on your shoulders that seem to bring you back down. Those voices are real and have a real impact on how we feel, but, there are ways to bring those on side too.

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017: Understanding The Impostor Syndrome

This is session number 017 of the Influence Psychology and Persuasion podcast. This show is all about understanding the impostor syndrome and how it affects us. If you don't know already, the impostor syndrome is a feeling that we get whenever we feel not worthy.These impostor feelings can be subdivided into three separate categories.

Three Categories of Impostor Syndrome

The first is basically feeling like a fake. You know you have a little niggling inside that you're about to be found out by someone. Perhaps you're surrounded by others who you feel are more knowledgeable or skilled in certain areas, and you feel your time will come up very soon. Statements from people who feel like this would be things like "I just give the impression that I'm way more competent than I am" or even "I know that one day I'll be found out that I lacked the knowledge that those around me have".

The second part is the inability to own success and to wrap it up as just being lucky. This is something that I'm sure all of us have done at one time or another. Someone may be praising a success or something that we've achieved, only for us to announce it as a fluke or that the competition at that time wasn't up to par either.

The last category is fairly similar to the second and this is also discounting success. This is where a person really downplays the successes that they have had. "I don't know why you're making a fuss" or " anybody could have done it".

Different variations of impostor syndrome will show for most people during their lifetime in many different areas or situations. It's extremely common though with highly achieving, highly successful people this is what separates impostor syndrome from simply low self-esteem. Impostor syndrome comes from the discrepancy of big achievements and the person not taking ownership or playing down the result.

Let's have a look at some ways that you can overcome the impostor syndrome:

Let go! if you're feeling like a fake it's normally because you've related it to what normal would feel like! Therefore, you need to simply detach from that perfection that you have assigned and let go of the importance that you have added to it.
Grab it back! The complete polar opposite from the above, but also beneficial. If you feel like a fraud because you're lucky, then gain back some control them realise that you had so much input to the successes.
Be all you can be. you have to absolutely give it your all to avoid the impostor syndrome. Let's face it, sometimes we are just lucky. So as long as you know you have added value and put in effort as much as possible, then you've done all you can.
Continue driving forward. The impostor syndrome thrives and grows in stagnation. Therefore, continue driving forward and taking action, this tenacity will prove that you are no impostor and that you are worthy. the feelings may show once in awhile, but just continue producing, adding value and taking action.
Accept the impostor to get rid of the impostor. You've heard me say this on the show before, " fake it until you make it" now I know that sounds like a real "impostorish", but bear with me. In order to feel like you're worthy and more successful, you need to chalk up your achievements. What that means is you need to step outside your comfort zone and try things that are new to you to realise the are in fact worthy and you are growing. And the very best way to do this, fake it until you make it!