192: Vouloir, c’est pouvoir.

09/06/20 • 30 min

Title translation: Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

After months of finding creative solutions in Switzerland, sleeping on an air mattress, and living out of a suitcase, I’m finally back in South Africa. And as many of us return to our homes or move to our next assignments, we quickly realize that what was already hard as heck, is now a double whammy.

The first is all the typical, strenuous challenges of (re)adapting to your new location. But this time, regardless of where you’re landing, you’ll *also* need to deal with the sapping pandemic. (Plus, already depleted emotional reserves, uncertain for what’s ahead, and pressure to pretend like you’re not falling apart. But hey, I’m paraphrasing.)

This week, we’re going to borrow confidence from an expat who took a tough transition and turned it into her watershed moment for transformation.

When French Bias founder Marie returned to where she didn’t want to be, she felt “swallowed by sadness.” But instead of remaining in her state of grief, Marie summoned her will and pulled me in by her side. Then, with a little ingenuity and a whole lot of determination, Marie custom-made her best life.

What You’ll Learn in this Episode:

Expat Grief Fog
Squished by English
Vengeance out of the bottle
The disdain for Square 1
Exercising your agency

Listen to the Full Episode Featured on the Show:

Bad timing, too busy, world in crisis... All excuses that don’t stand a chance against your determination for a better future you. You can continue to crouch down and feel like a perpetual victim of circumstance, or you can partner with me, who’ll make you stretch onto your tippy-toes. Year of Transformation is your lever, so pull the switch right here, and take your breakthrough.

Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC
Sundae’s Facebook Group – Expats on Purpose
French Bias Blog – By Marie
Marie on Pinterest – Connect here
Marie on Instagram – Connect here
Marie on Facebook – Connect here
Year of Transformation – Join now

We’re delighted by our nomination to the global Top 25 Expat Podcasts!

Subscribe: iTunes | Android

Full Episode Transcript:

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Hello. It is 09:30 am in New York, 3:30 pm in Johannesburg, and 8:30 pm in Bangkok. Welcome to the Expat Happy Hour. This is Sundae Schneider-Bean from www.sundaebean.com. I am a solution-orientated coach and intercultural strategist for individuals and organizations. I am on a mission to help you adapt and succeed when living abroad and get you through any life transition.

I’m excited to be recording this podcast back in my normal office in South Africa. And I’ll tell you what, this weekend I was so tired on Saturday. I was feeling what all my clients reported feeling that week, and that was depleted. I was messaging with a friend and I’m like, “I’m so tired” and my friend goes “didn’t you just move across the world this week?” I was like, “oh, you’re right.”

This is a transition that has slammed me off of my feet all day on Saturday while I was working to rejuvenate my energy resources. And I don’t know about you, but if you’re listening to this now in September or 2020 you might be feeling depleted not from an international move, but just from COVID fatigue this ongoing pattern of not knowing when things are going to get back to normal or even what the new normal is. So listen, this is important.

I know things are hard. I know that you’re feeling depleted and there is no more of an important time than now to think about you and how you take care of you and where you’re living with purpose and meaning for the very reason that we don’t know how long this uncertainty is going to last. We don’t know when we’ll get clarity and whatever that is in your life that has been put asi...

Title translation: Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

This week, we’re going to borrow confidence from an expat who took a tough transition and turned it into her watershed moment for transformation.

What You’ll Learn in this Episode:

Expat Grief Fog
Squished by English
Vengeance out of the bottle
The disdain for Square 1
Exercising your agency

Listen to the Full Episode Featured on the Show:

Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC
Sundae’s Facebook Group – Expats on Purpose
French Bias Blog – By Marie
Marie on Pinterest – Connect here
Marie on Instagram – Connect here
Marie on Facebook – Connect here
Year of Transformation – Join now

We’re delighted by our nomination to the global Top 25 Expat Podcasts!

Subscribe: iTunes | Android

Full Episode Transcript:

Download Transcript

Previous Episode

191: The Art of Reemergence

You can read every “how-to” manual. You can listen to incessant advice from friends, family, and online know-it-alls. Everywhere you turn, they’ll tell you how parenthood changes you.

But only once it happens, do you realize how you’re not just “changed” – you’re transformed. You’re irreversibly different, and you’ll never see the world in the same way again.

The same principle applies to higher-learning. You start with a passion for a subject. Years of your life plus tens of thousands of dollars later, you become an expert. You’ve acquired a knowledge level that earned you a distinction in that field and transformed yourself into a specialist. Something nothing or no one can ever undo or take away from you.

That’s the difference between change and transformation, and this week, I’m clearing up the confusion. We’re going to zoom out and identify what you’re really after and expose the true reason why your goals aren’t getting you there (at least not on their own).

What You’ll Learn in this Episode:

Goal Analysis Quiz
Why change is dangerous
From mean girl to best friend
A replacement for willpower
The caterpillar’s story

Listen to the Full Episode Featured on the Show:

No more half-measures. If you’re sick of surface-level changes and Band-Aid remedies, then here’s your cocoon. The doors are open for Year of Transformation! Sign up right here, and let’s begin your journey.

Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC
Sundae’s Facebook Group – Expats on Purpose
Year of Transformation – Join now
Episode 35: Real Life Transformation with Robin Tanner – Listen now
Episode 89: A peek behind the curtain of a real-life transformation – Listen now
Episode 140: Expat Expectations with Janine Christie – Listen Now

We’re delighted by our nomination to the global Top 25 Expat Podcasts!

Subscribe: iTunes | Android

Full Episode Transcript:

Download Transcript

Hello. It is 03:00 am in New York, 9:00 am in Johannesburg and 2:00 pm in Bangkok. Welcome to the Expat Happy Hour. This is Sundae Schneider-Bean from www.sundaebean.com. I am a solution-orientated coach and intercultural strategist for individuals and organizations. I am on a mission to help you adapt and succeed when living abroad and get you through any life transition.

All right, we are going to start out with a quiz. I want you to think about when you are unsatisfied with some part of your life and you’re setting goals or thinking about changes that you want to make. Think about which ones pop up and how do you hold them in your mind? I’ll give you a little quiz and I’m going to give you a or b and you tell me honestly which one of these sounds more like the types of goals that you have in your mind.

Okay. So ready for the goal quiz. All right.

(A) I want to reach 10,000 steps in the day.

(B) I want to become a person whose health is non-negotiable.

Be honest. Which one are you more likely to think? I’ll repeat it again, (A) I want to reach 10,000 steps a day or (B) I want to become a person whose health is non-negotiable. A or B?

All right next.

(A) I want to eat more fish.

(B) I want to become the person who craves food that’s naturally healthy for me.

Okay, number two (A) I want to eat more fish or (B) I want to become the person who craves food that is naturally healthy for me. Be honest number three.

(A) I want to meditate in the morning.

(B) I want to know what I want.

Number four.

(A) I want to stop worrying so much.

(B) I want to shift my internal dialogue, so it changes from me...

Next Episode

193: The Wheels of Change

This year feels like trying to push a broken-down car uphill — a complete slog.

Have you ever tried to move a dead car? You push and push and push, and it still doesn’t budge. Then, you try a few things, experiment by necessity, and maybe a kind passerby joins in to help you. Before you know it, that thing’s flying, and you wonder how you’ll make it stop.

Now, not only will you be less intimidated the next time this happens to you, but when you see someone else stuck mid intersection, you’ll eagerly jump out to assist as the car-propelling expert. “Did you put it in neutral? Is your emergency break off? Open the front doors and let’s heave from there, together.”

Yes: transformation is messy. Also, yes: we permanently benefit from the portable skills collected from each junction and learn to face upcoming rounds better armed. These are just two of the ten transformation truths I’m revealing this week.

What You’ll Learn in this Episode:

Back-talking your lying amygdala
Martha Beck’s 4 Squares of Transformation
How to end second-guessing & people-pleasing
Why an ugly reality beats a comforting fantasy
Finding answers by looking inward

Listen to the Full Episode Featured on the Show:

Now is the “before” picture. It’s where all your dissatisfaction residue manifests on the outside. Will next year’s photo look better, worse, or the same? Year of Transformation is your train, I’m the conductor, and accountability is our fuel. Grab your ticket right here, and let’s begin the journey to your “after” photo victory.

Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC
Sundae’s Facebook Group – Expats on Purpose
Expat Happy Hour – EP 191: The art of a re-emergence
Year of Transformation – Join now
September Summit – Join Now

We’re delighted by our nomination to the global Top 25 Expat Podcasts!

Subscribe: iTunes | Android Full Episode Transcript:

Download Transcript

Hello. It is 08:00 am in New York, 2:00 pm in Johannesburg, and 7:00 pm in Bangkok. Welcome to the Expat Happy Hour. This is Sundae Schneider-Bean from www.sundaebean.com. I am a solution-orientated coach and intercultural strategist for individuals and organizations. I am on a mission to help you adapt and succeed when living abroad and get you through any life transition.

“Better the hard truth, I say, than the comforting fantasy.” Thanks, Carl Sagan, this American astronomer and astrophysicist kind of has an uncomfortable truth to offer. I kind of prefer the comforting fantasy. How about you? Especially in these wonky times. We’re all looking for certainty, we’re all looking for knowing what’s coming next but none of us has it. And unfortunately today I’ve got some hard truths for you because even though I hate it and I resist it, I do not want you to walk around with a comforting fantasy and avoid the hard truth.

When you come face-to-face with that truth, you are empowered to do something different in your life. So in today’s episode of Expat Happy Hour, we’re going to talk about the hard truth behind finding direction in times of uncertainty. Now, here’s the thing, what I would love to do for you, I would love to say, “okay here are three ways you can find direction times of uncertainty one, two, three.” But, I can’t.

What I can do is pull the curtain back and tell you how I’ve worked with my clients. As they’ve found direction in times of uncertainty because there are some hard truths that go along with it. When we’re looking for direction, especially in wonky times like now, we kind of want to look to the outside. We want to look to our religious leader or the motivational guru or an economist or trends whatever it is.

But when we get down, I don’t know if this is a Midwestern term to the nitty-gritty when we get down in the dirt and really look at what it takes to find direction, we actua...