Codependent No More! with Licensed Mental Health Counselor Mary Joye

04/12/22 • 50 min

How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships

Pathological Altruism

Co-dependency, or pathological altruism as we like to call it, is unhealthy in marriage, but how do you know it’s there? It can turn a once healthy marriage into a bad one and often leads to divorce. How does co-dependency affect marriage and divorce? And how do you figure out if you’re co-dependent or part of the problem?

On today’s show, we have Mary Joye, licensed mental health counselor and Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator, joining us to talk about co-dependency, divorce, recovery, and more. It’s hard to break that trauma bond, as Mary points out. So what can you do to recognize yourself as being pathological altruistic? How does co-dependency rear its ugly head during marriage? Divorce? Mediation? And how do you avoid going down the same roads later in life? Mary talks to us about the challenges of becoming self-aware, but how important it is in making it to the other side of co-dependency. Tune in!

Links & Notes

Mary’s book Codependent Discovery and Recovery 2.0: A Holistic Guide to Healing and Freeing Yourself
Winter Haven Counseling
Mary on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube
Mary’s Author Page
Mary’s Course ‘From Codependent to Independent’

Pathological Altruism

Links & Notes

Mary’s book Codependent Discovery and Recovery 2.0: A Holistic Guide to Healing and Freeing Yourself
Winter Haven Counseling
Mary on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube
Mary’s Author Page
Mary’s Course ‘From Codependent to Independent’

Previous Episode

Codependent No More! with Licensed Mental Health Counselor Mary Joye

Pathological Altruism

Links & Notes

Mary’s book Codependent Discovery and Recovery 2.0: A Holistic Guide to Healing and Freeing Yourself
Winter Haven Counseling
Mary on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube
Mary’s Author Page
Mary’s Course ‘From Codependent to Independent’
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:26) - Meet Mary Joye
(01:40) - What Is Co-Dependency?
(04:10) - DSM 5
(05:25) - Co-Dependence & Marriage
(07:31) - The Fog of Co-Dependency
(08:55) - Signs of Trauma Bonds
(13:09) - Co-Dependence in the Divorce Process
(14:11) - Waking Up
(15:24) - Deconstructing / Reconstructing
(18:51) - Do Opposites Attract?
(20:20) - Sponsor: Soberlink
(21:53) - The Divorce Process
(31:08) - Demeanor Post-Divorce
(32:40) - Danger of Repeating
(35:01) - Make a List
(36:48) - Fighting For You
(38:08) - Example of Self-Destructive Behavior
(41:25) - Mediation and Co-Dependence
(48:25) - Wrapping Up

Next Episode

Navigating Financial Infidelity with Wealthspire’s Aviva Pinto

No matter how you slice it, infidelity is not a word you want associated with your marriage. That’s true for financial infidelity as well. So how do you figure out if your partner is being financially unfaithful? And what should you do?

Pete and Seth are joined today by Wealthspire’s Aviva Pinto to discuss financial infidelity, rebuilding your credit, alimony, and more. What is financial infidelity? We break down the definition and why it’s such a problem for marriages.

If you’re done with your divorce, is it too late to call Aviva or someone like her to get help? Nope! People may not realize the financial infidelity until it’s done, or perhaps they had reasons they wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible, but there still can be remedies.

We look at financial planning and the importance of rebuilding your credit, as well as why a single credit card can help that credit score climb back up.

It’s an important topic today, and honestly it’s relevant for people who aren’t getting divorced too. Check it out!

About Aviva

Aviva Pinto is a Managing Director and member of the Advisory Committee at Wealthspire Advisors, a $20B multi family office, advising individuals, families and foundation clients on wealth management, including: asset allocation, manager selection, estate planning and philanthropy. She is an experienced wealth advisor with over 25 years of financial services industry experience. She specializes in working with individuals in transition (sale of business, inheritance, divorce, recently widowed) to determine the most appropriate course of action for their financial assets.

Aviva received a B.A. from the University of Michigan and an M.B.A. from the University of Chicago.

Aviva is on the board of the Port Washington Library Foundation and a former board member of The Somerset Resort Ltd, Providenciales, Turks and Caicos. She is an alumni recruiter for the University of Michigan. She is a board member of Manhasset Bay Yacht Club and a member of Beaver Dam Winter Club. Aviva was named one of the Notable Women in Financial Advice by Crain’s New York Business 2020 and honored by Long Island Business News as one of the Top 50 Business Women on Long Island multiple years.

Aviva is married, and lives in Port Washington with her husband Lou, and their two daughters.

Links & Notes