Avoiding Toxic Life Partners

Explicit content warning

03/29/25 • -1 min

How To Sex

Identify the 18 worst traits, early.

Based on posts by Emma Mills and Sinitta Weston. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Dating can be a thrilling adventure, full of exciting possibilities. But it’s important to be aware of potential red flags that might signal a less-than-ideal partner. While everyone has their quirks, some behaviors can be toxic and detrimental to a healthy relationship.
You may have a great sexual chemistry, but partnership is a bonding of your souls. To that end, finding emotional intimacy is a bigger challenge than sexual intimacy.
Relationships are hard enough without choosing a partner who adds unnecessary drama and toxicity. It’s good to have standards and protect your own peace!

18 Types Of Women Who Make Terrible Partners

By Emma Mills
Let’s break down some of the types of women who are likely to create more headaches than happiness in the long run.

1. The woman who plays the victim in every situation.
Nothing is ever her fault. She constantly blames her problems on bad luck, other people, or circumstances outside her control. This lack of accountability makes growth and healthy conflict resolution impossible in a relationship, Esther Perel points out.

2. The woman who refuses to compromise.
Relationships take compromise, but she’s a “my way or the highway” kind of person. Her needs and desires always come first, and if you don’t bend over backwards to accommodate them, you’re labeled selfish or uncaring.

3. The chronically jealous and insecure woman.
Some jealousy is normal, but she takes it to an extreme. She constantly needs reassurance, accuses you of being interested in others, checks your phone, and tries to isolate you from friends. A relationship built on distrust and possessiveness instead of mutual respect is doomed.

4. The woman who can’t be alone.
She rushes from one relationship to the next and hates being single. This often stems from insecurity and an inability to be alone with her own thoughts. These relationships tend to be intense, codependent, and lack healthy boundaries.

5. The emotionally manipulative woman.
She’s a master at using guilt trips, tears, or withholding affection to get what she wants. Healthy relationships are built on honest communication, not manipulation. It’s exhausting trying to navigate her ever-changing emotions to avoid upsetting her.

6. The woman who sees every past relationship as the “crazy ex.”
If a string of exes have all been “crazy,” “unreasonable,” or “total narcissists,” it’s likely not them – it’s her. She refuses to own her role in past relationship breakdowns, which is a recipe for repeating those same patterns with you.

Identify the 18 worst traits, early.

Based on posts by Emma Mills and Sinitta Weston. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

18 Types Of Women Who Make Terrible Partners

By Emma Mills
Let’s break down some of the types of women who are likely to create more headaches than happiness in the long run.

Previous Episode

Reasons Men Are Choosing To Stay Single

The dating world’s been flipping on its head.

With input by Blonde&Balanced and Dinsmore. Listen to the Podcast at How To sex.
Clearly, western culture has started failing to secure our survival. We saw it in western Europe, late in the last century. Plus, totalitarian Asian governments dictated it. We quit having enough babies to replace ourselves. We quit teaching our younger generations that a big part of existence is, creating more existence.
We delegated out so much of parenthood, that we quit associating with our roles in life.
Then we quit finding our identity in marriage. That ancient blending of the two halves of humanity. Boys increasingly started pleasuring other boys, and girls started preferring a romp with another girl.
Hell, with internet porn and sex toys, even gay relationships started taking the hit.
People are increasingly alone, and getting lonely. But for many of our fellow humans, that’s more acceptable than all the potential disasters of trying to find a soulmate and life partner.
Here’s a report by Blonde&Balanced, about
28 of the possible reasons that men, in particular; are choosing to stay single.
The dating world’s been flipping on its head, with more men choosing to hit pause on the whole dating game. It’s not just a single problem causing this shift, but a variety of new challenges prompting guys to retreat.
Let’s delve into 28 reasons highlighting why some men are opting out of dating.
1: High Cost of Love.
The bill for playing the dating game can make some guys hit the brakes, especially when it’s on them to foot the bill for everything from fancy dinners to fun dates, all while balancing their budget.
2: Clash with Modern Women.
A rift between modern independence and traditional dating expectations has led to a disconnect, with men feeling sidelined by women’s dual demands for autonomy and special treatment.
3: Situationships.
This modern take on non-committal relationships allows for emotional and physical connection without the need to label or define the bond, making it a popular choice for many.
4: The Lost "Getting to Know You" Phase.
Ian Breslow, a 28-year-old high school teacher who lives in Astoria, shared his own personal experience that underscores a shift from casual dating to immediate, intense relationship probing, making casual encounters and light-hearted dating seem a thing of the past.
5: Impact of Pandemic.
Andrew Bruno’s account highlights how the pandemic has altered social behaviors, making in-person interactions less frequent and more guarded.
6: Goals over Dates.
Many men are putting love on the back burner to chase their career or academic dreams, driven by a mix of personal ambition, societal pressure, or the quest for financial security before settling down.
7: Past Pain.
Some guys are keeping their hearts off the market thanks to rough rides in past relationships, from betrayals to breakups, leaving them wary of round two.
8: High Expectations.
Feeling overwhelmed by the mountain of expectations in the dating world, some men think it’s just too much—whether it’s pressure from society, a string of bad dates, or those fairy-tale romances in movies.
9: Fear of Exploitation.
Past experiences of feeling used, whether for money, handyman services, or emotional support, have some men wary of dating again, fearing another round of exploitation.
10: The Age Gap.
For some, dating seems to cater exclusively to the young, leaving older individuals feeling out of place and questioning the worth of seeking love later in life.
11: Digital Dating.
The digital dating scene, with its endless swiping and focus on fleeting connections, has some dudes questioning if it’s all just a bit too shallow and overwhelming to bother with.
12: New Rules.
As the ground shifts beneath the traditional gender roles, a lot of men find themselves lost in the new norms of dating and relationships, unsure of their role.
13: Happy with Being Single.
With over half of single Americans content in their solo journey, the drive to seek out a partner is...

Next Episode

Sex Therapies For Your Relationship

Don’t give up on what used to be a good thing.

By Ashley Welch & Kara Leigh Smythe, MD. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
There was once a time when your relationship had magic. That spark of romance, anticipation, and bonding. You’ve invested so much, until things somehow went south. It might have been a major incident, or a slow drifting away from each other.
It might be a personal health issue, or a forced new environment for the two of you.
We’ll look at home treatments and try to reverse bad habits, But we’ll also discuss your options with a caring and competent professional therapist who specializes in identifying and reversing obstacles in your lives, in a gentle manner.
Let’s first look at the easier solutions you can do in the privacy of your home.

9 Natural Libido Therapies

Want more excitement? Stimulation? Satisfaction? There are several drug-free ways to spice up your sex life.
By Ashley Welch & Kara Leigh Smythe, MD
Exercise, say experts, is one of many natural tools you can use to improve sex.
If fooling around with your partner isn't all you'd like it to be, it might be time to think up new ways to make your sex life sizzle.
Having a date night with your partner — to remind yourself of all the reasons you adore each other — can be a great way to stimulate your libido, says Anita Sadaty, MD, a holistic gynecologist in Roslyn, New York.
This is one of many natural ways that experts say you can improve your sex life.
1. Make Getting in the Mood for Sex a Priority
Sometimes, having more and better sex simply requires clearing your schedule. “It's hard to be in the mood when you have a million things on your to-do list and not much time to do it,” Dr. Sadaty says.
Scheduling sex might sound unromantic, but you put most of your important plans in your calendar, so why not sex? It’s best to schedule enough time to do something relaxing first rather than hopping straight into bed, since women, especially, need to be relaxed before their libido kicks in, Sadaty says.
2. Avoid Negative Thoughts
If your brain is running a feedback loop of reasons you’ve picked up along the way — about how you should feel guilty about sex or maybe that your body is too fat or ugly or, well, whatever — it’s time to stop it in its tracks. Recognize the thought when it appears and change it to a more helpful one.
Practicing sex positivity — the idea that all consensual sexual activities are healthy and positive — can lead to improvements in sexual enjoyment, researchers say.
This means accepting that sex is an essential part of overall health and that you have the right to enjoy sexual activity free from judgment. Examples can include telling your partner what excites you, setting healthy sexual boundaries, and exploring sexual fantasies, which has been shown to improve sexual function and satisfaction.
3. Don’t Forget to Use Lubricants
Vaginal dryness can be common among women, affecting as many as 17 percent of females 18 to 50, according to the Cleveland Clinic.
A number of factors can contribute to vaginal dryness, including a drop in hormone levels due to menopause, breastfeeding, and certain medications. Sex can be more pleasurable if you add a lubricant, which cuts down on friction and irritation and, therefore, discomfort, gynecologists say. You can buy lubricant from the drugstore or use a household oil like coconut oil. (Be sure to use a non-latex condom if you DIY, because these oils can damage latex.)
Don’t try to hide your need for a lubricant from your partner. Make it part of your sexual routine and have fun with it.
4. Move Your Body
You may not think that the exercise you do for your heart and muscles is important for sex, but remember that blood flows to your genitals as much as to your heart.
Men with erectile dysfunction, for example, can often see improvements in this condition with healthy lifestyle changes such as exercise. A review of 10 ...