How To Sex

Recklessness ruptured my plumbing, and permanently curtailed my sex life.

By Anonymous. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

I Fucked up.

I am writing this mainly because there is not a lot of information about this particular injury

Around October of last year I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I thrust too hard at the wrong angle and tore my Urethra and two blood vessels in my penis.

When the injury first occurred I was close to climaxing. Because of this, when the injury happened and the blood vessels and urethra were torn, blood started mixing into my urethra. I was cumming blood

I was not in pain but I could feel that my dick was not pointing in the right direction and turned on the lights, blood was everywhere and pouring out of me at an alarming rate (think you’re cumming but it doesn’t stop and its blood)

At this point I’m panicking and yell out that I need to go to the hospital immediately.

I throw on loose pants without zipping them up, a hoodie, and grab a towel to soak the blood that’s coming out. Then me and my girl go to the hospital.

The hospital near me specialized in bodily injury and doesn’t have the type of urologist doctor that I need to see, so I have to drive 30 minutes away to the closest hospital that has a Urology department.

Once I get to this secondary hospital, I am immediately taken in and put into a room of my own once they see my dick; and about an hour later I see a Urologist who runs some tests and tells me about the ruptured urethra and blood vessels.

I need surgery.

The surgery is a process called “de gloving” where they “de-glove” the skin around your penis, roll it down, and make an incision into the underside of the skin and go in and stitch up the torn vessels and urethra, these are dissolvable stitches and they stay in your penis until they go away on their own.

About 8 hours later I actually went into surgery, I don’t remember anything. I was wheeled into the operating room and the anesthesiologist cracked a dumb joke, and then I was out.

I woke up with my penis wrapped up in bandages and a catheter in me. If you have never had to use a catheter, count yourself lucky. I was told I needed to keep the catheter in for 10 days.

These were the longest 10 days of my life. If you asked me what the pain was on a scale of 1-10, it was 7 with the opioids, and 11 without them.

Any little movement with my penis and I got searing pain. Wearing any type of clothes was out because I just could not take it, I was pretty much naked during those ten days. Anytime the catheter twisted? Pain. Anytime I had to roll out of bed to go get something from the fridge? Pain.

Worst of all? Erections.

As the men reading this will know, erections are not really voluntary, we just get them sometimes. Morning wood is a real thing and its not controllable.

Want to know what getting an erection feels like when you have stitches in your dick and a catheter? Worse than words could ever explain.

I woke up screaming three times a night. I would tear something and I could see the stale blood along the catheter as my erections came and went. The blood became crispy, and if I didn’t clean it when it happened, the next erection would be 5 times as painful because it would grow along the stale, sharp leftover blood on the catheter.

I quickly learned how to kill erections, but it was still really bad. I’m actually leaving out some details because I’m not fully recovered yet and the phantom pain comes back as I’m trying to recall it.

As of today, I have the catheter out and can walk around again, but erections are still painful, I imagine that will go away in the next few weeks.

Yes, You Really Can Fracture a Penis shaft — Here's What That Means

Proceed with caution if you're squeamish.

BY SOPHIE SAINT THOMAS - 2018

There are a lot of sexual myths out there, but doctors confirm that broken penises aren't one of them. Remember when Lexie Grey supposedly broke Mark Sloan's penis back when all our favorite characters on Grey's Anatomy were still alive? Nope, Shonda Rhimes wasn't making that up. While there aren't actually bones in the penis, a penile fracture is a real-life injury. We spoke to several urologists to learn how it happens, what a broken penis looks like, and how to treat one.

What exactly is a fractured penis (often known as a "broken dick")?

First, a quick refresher on what inside a penis can break in the first place: A penis co...

Fundamentals, Types and Roles, Safety Rules, and More

By Nuna Alberts, LCSW. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

If you’ve ever fantasized about getting kinky in the bedroom, you’re not alone. The runaway success of E. L. James’s Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy of books; the three top-selling print and e-books in the United States between 2010 and 2019; not to mention the sales of the movies they generated, prove that interest in BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism) is anything but rare.
BDSM can involve role playing, sensory manipulation, and more. Here are a few popular ways enthusiasts like to get kinky!

Prevalence: How Many People Practice BDSM?

Further proof: Nearly 47 percent of women and 60 percent of men have fantasized about dominating someone sexually, while slightly more women and less men are aroused by the idea of being dominated, according to a 2016 study. The same study also found that almost 47 percent adults would like to participate in at least one nontraditional type of sexual activity, and 34 percent said that they’d done so at least once in the past. No wonder if you search the phrase “BDSM” on Google it will return more than 500 million results. By comparison, the phrase “missionary sex” returns about 163 million results.

The History of BDSM: Not So New

Explore a little more and you’ll also discover that BDSM is nothing new. Among BDSM’s historical high points:

• Art and texts from ancient Greece and Rome show physical pain being used as an erotic stimulus, per the book An Illustrated History of the Rod, by William M. Cooper, first published in 1868.
• The Kama Sutra, the revered Sanskrit text on sexuality written in India about 2,000 years ago, describes six appropriate places to strike a person with passion and four ways to do it. It also has chapters titled “Scratching,” “Biting,” and “Reversing Roles.”
• The Marquis de Sade, a French aristocrat who lived from 1740 to 1814, wrote a variety of erotic novels and short stories involving being beaten and beating others. Eventually the author’s name gave rise to the term “sadism.”
• Similarly, the term “masochism” is derived from the name of Austrian nobleman and author Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, whose 1870 novel Venus in Furs describes a dominant-submissive relationship.
• Back in 1953, a Kinsey Institute study found that 55 percent of women and 50 percent of men were aroused by being bitten.
• And even pre-Fifty Shades of Grey, 36 percent of U.S. adults reported having had sex using masks, blindfolds, or other forms of bondage.

Is BDSM Still Considered a Medical Disorder?

At one time, mental health experts were dubious about whether those who practiced BDSM were mentally healthy. But the American Psychiatric Association took a huge step in destigmatizing kink with the release of the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) in 2013. For the first time ever, the guidelines drew a clear distinction between consenting adults who engage in sexual behaviors outside the mainstream, such as BDSM, and those who force others to engage in those behaviors without consent.
That means simply experimenting with, say, whips and chains, is no longer a sign of mental illness that by itself “justifies or requires clinical intervention,” the manual states.
There are true sexual disorders that are similar in theme. Sexual sadism disorder, for instance, involves inflicting physical or psychological pain on another for the purpose of sexual pleasure. And sexual masochism disorder involves deliberately involving yourself in a situation in which you are humiliated, beaten, or abused for the purpose of sexual excitement.
The difference between these two disorders and BDSM is consent, in the case of sexual sadism disorder, and that BDSM does not go to the degree of causing significant distress or impairing function, in the case of sexual masochism disorder.

The Psychology of BDSM: Why Are People Drawn to It?

Most of the available evid...

Why she loves to pleasure his cock, and how she does it.

By AnaLeePleasured. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

I have always found it odd that there are women out there who do not enjoy giving a man a blow-job, especially if it is the man they love, or are in love with. Personally I just cannot imagine anything nicer than the experience of sucking a beautiful hard, or soft cock and knowing that my efforts are being enjoyed. I believe it is an honor and a privilege to be allowed to pleasure a man in this way. I have always wanted to explain why I love it so much and how I feel when I do it and what the experience gives me. That is what I will attempt to do now. I hope that someone out there enjoys reading about how wonderful cock sucking is from one woman’s perspective, and hopefully somehow, a few of those women out there who see it as a “chore” can be converted into developing a new attitude to pleasuring their man.

My first time that I went down on a man was after a late, or rather, early night of partying hard on the dance floor of a local nightclub when I was just eighteen. He was thirty-seven and we had been getting hot and close all night and into the morning. Others on the dance floor were telling us to “get a room”, and we finally listened to them. So off we went to his place for the rest of the ‘night’.

We both had a shower and went to bed but sleep was the last thing on our minds. So we kissed and I finally got close enough to see what I had been brushing up against all night. His cock was long and hard and I ached to touch it. I didn’t ask, just reached out and felt it, running my hand up and down the shaft, Soon I was masturbating him with both hands and getting more and more excited by his groans of pleasure. I don’t know why, but I just sort of took control of the situation because he was enjoying himself so much and seemed happy by what I was doing. So I kissed a trail down his strong lean stomach till my mouth found its target.

He was so surprised when my mouth engulfed his cock. He couldn’t seem to believe that I had just gone straight down on him without a word of encouragement from him. He seemed almost alarmed that I had wanted to suck his cock. For me it was the most natural thing in the world. I had never done it before and I had never even seen porn at that stage in my life. I just knew I wanted to taste, to use all the senses that I possessed. But then, that is just how I am, I believe in getting the most out of a beautiful experience, making meaningful memories that last long after the act. That is what I am all about.

So that was my first experience of sucking a cock and when I think about it now, what I loved most of all about it, was the way he enjoyed what I did. He encouraged me every step of the way with moans and groans, saying “YES” when I sucked his balls or gently stroked them with my hands while sucking his cock. Then afterwards, he had looked at me in amazement and awe, admitting that he had never been so masterfully handled before and wondering where I had learned to do it so well.

He also told me that no woman had seemed to really enjoy sucking his cock before and that it usually seemed as if a woman did it as a “favor” or saw it as a “chore”, needing to be asked to do it. He said he couldn’t believe I had done it voluntarily. What he said had made me wonder why anyone faced with such a lovely cock would need to be asked to suck it, I just couldn’t understand it. From that first experience I learned so much about men and what they like and I also learned about myself and what I like too.

For me there is no greater compliment than having a man’s erect cock pointing straight at me, I see it like a child sees candy, it just begs to be tasted and sucked. It is my reward for being a good girl, I get to have the lollipop. When we are young our parents teach us that there is more joy in giving, than receiving and as we grow older, many of us stop thinking that way and start to want more and more and give less and less. That is such a shame because life should be more about giving and enjoying the shared pleasures ...

No matter your size, you can make it work for you.

By PolySwingerWife. Listen to the Podcast at How-to Sex.

We’re taking plenty of time for this issue, because it has a lot of myths, yet it impacts much of how we interact.

In the same way that busty women often carry themselves in a confident aura, and often intimidate other women, Some men have a confidence that is tied to their ‘package’. Men who don’t have super-sized packages, sometimes feel a significant lack of confidence.

Never mind that longer, thicker men are usually denied uncomfortable intercourse from many women. And they are almost always deprived of alternative sex act like fellatio and anal penetration.

Some men are also adverse to the attention they draw for their larger physiology; just as some women don’t like being stereotyped for having big tits.

Let’s hear from Evangelina Vargas, aka, Poly Swinger Wife. She’s married, but claims multiple sex partners.

Length vs Girth

It is often men who are concerned about cock size. I will admit that cock size can be an issue for some women, as well, but more often it is men who are the most concerned.

Men’s penises can be seen in gym locker rooms by other men, at nude beaches, and at nude resorts by both men and women. When penises are seen in these places, the penises are flaccid. Most men are not comparing their erect penises to other men’s erect penises in real life. When this occurs, it is usually while looking at or watching porn.

Since most penises are seen when they are flaccid, it is safe to assume that flaccid size is just as important as erect size.

Let’s say that two men are together, one man’s penis glans (head) is bigger than the other man’s entire penis. Could this be an issue? I believe so. Let’s now say that a woman is looking at these two men. Is she going to see both men as being equal, sexually or otherwise? Possibly not.

A person’s reaction to a man’s penis size can have lasting effects. And too often statements made about a smaller penis are rarely complimentary.

Imagine that you are a man, and more than once you have been told that your penis is “cute.” Does this foster a feeling of command, confidence, and masculinity? No. Conversely, if you are told that you are hung, or hung like a horse, does this foster a different feeling for the “hung” man? I believe so.

The size of a man’s penis often has a lot to do with how a man sees himself. How well he measures up will attribute to the man’s feelings of self-worth, and himself as a man.

It is said that flaccid size often has nothing to do with what the same penis will look like when erect. I agree, to a point. I believe that a man who has a flaccid penis that is 2.5 inches in length isn’t going to be as big when he is erect as a man who is 6.5 inches in length when he is flaccid.

A larger cock, when flaccid, may not grow much more when it is erect, but it may get thicker. So, let’s say that one man has a 4.5-inch erect penis that is 4.0 inches in circumference, and the other man has a 6.5-inch penis that is 5.0 inches in circumference when it is flaccid. I believe it is safe to assume that the larger flaccid penis is going to be the bigger penis when it is erect.

Many men fear being alone or rejected because of the size of their penis. This fear usually exists because of past ridicule of the man’s penis or the fear of that happening.

The Whole Clitoris Matters

Although most women care much less about men’s penis sizes, it has been noted that women who can, do, and enjoy vaginal orgasm prefer larger cock men. For women who don’t prefer vaginal orgasms, penis size is a far less pressing matter.

Studies have shown that fewer women can and do orgasm vaginally than those who orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Yet, it has also recently been proven that the clitoris is much larger than previously thought. Essentially, all women who experience orgasm, either through clitoral or vaginal stimulation, experience clitoral orgasms.

Why is this important? The reason many women can and do experience “vaginal” orgasm is that the penis rubs the clitoris on all sides. When looked at, the clitoris is not just the nub that most people think that it is. It actually covers much more ground. The “nub” is just the tip of the clitoris.

To put it crudely, the entir...

A general guide to the core of a woman's sexual desire.

By Lillianna Morgan. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
Written for all men who wish their wives/partners would have more sex with them, and for all women who wish the men in their lives knew how to really please them.
Frustration; it's a bitch; it can be good, really good, or very, very bad. The idea is to make the sexual frustration great for her, so that when the time comes, she is so wild for you, the sex is mind blowing for both of you. This can happen every time, if you know what to do, and how to approach her the right way.
There are THREE KEYS to mind blowing sex.
1 Knowing Your Partner's Needs
2 Planning: Take Your Time
3 Tease Her: Make Her Wild
No matter how tempted you are, and I know you are, DON'T skip down to number three. Take a few minutes and learn something other women will probably never tell you, but ALL of them wish you knew.
1. KNOW YOUR PARTNERS NEEDS: You HAVE to know what she likes and doesn't like, not just sexually, but emotionally as well. If she is frustrated emotionally, you aren't gonna get anywhere with her. Meet her emotional needs first. If she is not feeling loved, or appreciated, if you have troubles in your relationship, then take the time to fix it. THEN focus on the sexual needs. (Usually bad sex is what creates the core of relationship problems.)
Not every woman is the same, and not every woman will reach orgasm the same way. Some never will because their partner is too impatient, or her EMOTIONAL needs aren't being met. If your too embarrassed, or impatient to ask why she isn't enjoying it, (if she isn't climaxing, she isn't enjoying it) she will be very reluctant to have sex with you. If your wife/partner consistently refuses your advances, makes excuses, rolls her eyes, snorts, laughs, and won't give you any; YOUR most likely the source of the problem. WHY? An emotionally and sexually satisfied woman will not refuse her man sex, at least for long. She will hunger for it, like a cat in heat.
If you can't answer these questions, don't be so quick to call her frigid. When a man really knows what his woman wants, and actually takes the time to give it to her, she will almost NEVER refuse him intimacy. She won't WANT to refuse you. In fact, once you master the three keys, she may be the one begging you for sex.
THE 20 QUESTIONS:
1; What are her sexual fantasies?
2; What gets her in the mood?
3; What turns her off?
4; Is she stressed, depressed or angry?
5; Is she feeling loved by you?
6; Is she feeling desirable to you?
7; How does she like to be touched?
8; How does she hate to be touched?
9; How does she like to touch herself?
10; How does she WISH you would touch her?
11; What makes her feel more relaxed?
12; What makes her feel uncomfortable?
13; What makes her hot for YOU?
14; What makes her hesitant to initiate sex?
15; What makes her hesitant to tell you want she likes?
Ask her these questions first:
16; What kind of relationship do we have now?
17; What kind of relationship do you want?
18; What would it take to move our relationship to a "10" today, next week, next month?
19; What can I do for you today to make your day better? Ask every day. At first she may say "nothing" If she does, do something spontaneous anyway, like pick her a flower, fold the laundry, rub her feet, let her pick the movie, brush her hair for her, put the kids to bed for her, run an errand, make breakfast in bed, give her an extra long kiss goodbye, and a wink, dedicate a song to her, clean the kitchen for her, write her a love letter, rub her shoulders, plan a picnic, send flowers to her work, just because, ; there are a million little things a woman would love for you to do for her, non sexual things you can do; pick one and just do it without being asked.
20; Find out her Love Languages (Read The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman) Even if SHE doesn't know them, you will be able to recognize them. Make sure your filling her tank with the right gas; (you'll have to read the book)
If you don't know the answers to these questions, it's most likely the main reason you dont have the sex life you want. It's your job to find out. She WANTS you to know the answers to these questions, and probably doesn't know how to bring it up without risking you shutting her down, because wome...