How To Love Yourself No Matter What

Hey there, welcome to the podcast! Today, I'm diving into something that's been on my mind a lot, and I bet you've thought about it too. You know that feeling when you're absolutely convinced you should be doing something, but you just can't seem to take that first step? It's a struggle many of us face, and it's even more pronounced for those of us who are neurodivergent. We've spent a long time trying to fit into a world that doesn't always understand us.

So, we often turn to self-help books, right? I've read my fair share, and they've had their moments, but lately, I've noticed something. It's not about needing more information; it's about something deeper. We become information hoarders, thinking that the next book or course will finally reveal the magic formula to make us do what we want.

But let's be real – it's not that simple. I mean, I've struggled with completing things in my life, like not finishing university. Society makes us believe that not having that degree equals failure. And we do this in various aspects of our lives, constantly seeking that one thing that will make us feel confident and comfortable with change.

Now, here's the thing: comfort in change is a bit of a unicorn. It's elusive. But it doesn't have to be painful either. There's a middle ground. We often think something's wrong with us when we get scared, shut down, or quit. I've been there myself, and I see it in my clients too.

We chase after someone who promises certainty, a step-by-step guide, a shiny object that tells us what to do. But life isn't that predictable. There's a unique level of risk in our pursuits, and it's not the same as someone else's journey.

The point is, you're not alone in feeling like a quitter or that you're just not getting it. I've been there, and I'm sure many of you have too. But here's the kicker – it's okay not to be good at everything. It's not about shoulds; it's about finding what truly works for you.

Think of life as a dance. You're not on a fixed path; you're dancing. It's about learning what steps work best for you, just like in figure skating. Not everyone can do every move, but that doesn't make you any less of a skater.

So, let's ditch the "shoulds" and explore what really makes us tick. It's a journey, not a destination. And I promise you, it's liberating. Join me in a free workshop to dive deeper into this. You don't need to conform to what society says you should do; you can create your unique path to confidence and fulfillment.

I hope this episode inspires you to rethink your approach and consider that maybe you shouldn't always follow the traditional route. There's an exciting, authentic journey waiting for you.

You can register for the workshop: How To Get Your Sh*t Together With Your Neurodivergent Brain here: https://amandahess.ca/workshop

Interested in working with Amanda? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: https://amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself?preview_theme_id=2160502340

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

Hey there, it's Amanda! I'm thrilled to have you join me in this episode where we're shaking things up and challenging the idea that December is the time to throw in the towel. We're diving deep into a conversation about the common mindset that suggests the year is practically over by mid-December. I want to encourage you to finish strong, showing up for your life in a way that aligns with your goals and well-being.

As we approach the holiday season, it's so easy to buy into the cultural belief that the last weeks of the year don't matter. But I'm here to passionately advocate for the importance of these weeks and to remind you not to leave the good stuff behind. Let's tackle that "brace for impact" mentality head-on and challenge the notion that January is some magical reset button.

Instead of pushing through with force, I want to share a different approach to finishing strong — one that doesn't involve self-hatred, forceful actions, or exhaustive to-do lists. Drawing from my own experiences, we'll explore the unsustainable nature of forcing ourselves and the negative impact it can have on our mental well-being.

I invite you to consider an alternative path — making subtle shifts in mindset and embracing the journey of becoming the person you aspire to be. Let's talk about empowerment and the importance of internal empowerment. It's about building confidence, regulating our nervous system, and understanding ourselves on a deeper level.

We'll touch on the Holiday Magic Challenge, a 10-day training program designed to provide practical tools for approaching life from a different perspective. Whether you join me live on Facebook or catch the recordings on your podcast app, I promise a transformative experience that goes beyond toxic positivity.

This episode is a rallying call to finish the year strong, reject that chaotic mindset, and start the new year with a sense of empowerment. I encourage you to envision a journey of self-discovery and transformation because the person you become is just as important as the goals you achieve.

Join me in challenging the status quo and finishing strong. Don't miss out on the opportunity to create a narrative that empowers you to lead your brain, regulate your emotions, and experience a truly satisfying life. Tune in now, and let's finish strong together!
There is still time to join the Holiday Magic Challenge. Register HERE

Interested in working with Amanda? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: https://amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself?preview_theme_id=2160502340

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In this episode, I explore the concept of soft strength—a way to hold boundaries, advocate for yourself, and navigate difficult situations without aggression or emotional dysregulation. Too often, women are labeled as “too much” when they stand up for themselves or “people pleasers” when they don’t. But there’s a middle ground: a way to be strong without force, and firm without anger. I share personal experiences, client insights, and practical strategies to help you step into your power while staying true to yourself.

Timestamps & Key Takeaways:

[00:00 - 02:00] Introduction

• How the idea of soft strength came up in my coaching and content creation process
• Strength doesn’t always have to be aggressive—there are different ways to embody it

[02:01 - 05:30] The Stigma Around Women’s Strength

• The world often labels strong women as “Karens” or “bitches,” making it harder to advocate for ourselves
• There is nothing wrong with being assertive, but there’s also power in a softer approach
• The balance between pushing through and holding space for yourself

[05:31 - 09:45] Advocating for Yourself Without Emotional Dysregulation

• Strength is not about demanding or yelling—it’s about clarity and self-trust
• How to hold firm boundaries without feeling the need to justify or explain yourself
• The power of approaching boundaries from a place of calm, rather than anger

[09:46 - 14:30] Boundaries in Difficult Relationships

• How boundaries often come up in co-parenting, breakups, and family dynamics
• The difference between setting a boundary from a place of anger vs. a place of self-respect
• Why boundaries aren’t about controlling the other person, but about how you will respond

[14:31 - 17:50] Giving People Back Their Own Feelings

• The tendency to take responsibility for other people’s emotions
• Why we try to “fix” people’s feelings and how it disconnects us instead of bringing us closer
• How to shift from emotional responsibility hoarding to true, open support

[17:51 - 21:30] The Power of Soft Strength in Real-Life Situations

• Personal story: Navigating my mother’s illness and seeing how people tried to “fix” the grief
• The difference between holding space for someone versus trying to change their experience
• The kind of support that truly makes a difference in hard times

[21:31 - 23:00] Final Thoughts & Next Steps

• Soft strength is about showing up as the version of yourself that you want to be
• How to journal on where you can embrace soft strength in your life
• Invitation to book a free consult for 1:1 coaching: amandahess.ca/bookacall

Love this episode? Don’t forget to leave a review! Your support helps more women find this podcast and step into their own power. 💜

Interested in working with Amanda? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: https://amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself?preview_theme_id=2160502340

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

**[0:00]** - Welcome and reflection: "Can you believe it's already mid-December? Let’s make this moment count."

**[1:00]** - Today, we’re diving deep into *emotional mastery*. You’ll learn how this transformative process can help you handle stress, build resilience, and create a life you love.

---

### The Big Idea: Every Problem Is an Emotions Problem

**[2:30]** - I’ll show you why emotional mastery is the key to solving issues in relationships, parenting, money, career, and more.

**[3:15]** - By the end of this episode, you’ll understand why emotions are at the root of so many challenges and how mastering them can change everything.

---

### A Client's Journey: Proof It’s Possible

**[5:00]** - You’ll hear how one of my clients went from feeling stuck and overwhelmed to confident and in control using the emotional mastery process.

**[6:15]** - I’ll share my own story too—how I broke free from constant pressure and perfectionism—and how you can do the same.

---

### Understanding Emotions

**[7:45]** - You’ll learn what emotions really are (hint: they’re not thoughts!) and why understanding them is crucial.

**[8:30]** - I’ll explain the stress responses—fight, flight, freeze, and fawn—and how they might be running your life without you even realizing it.

**[10:00]** - You’ll start to see why emotional distress keeps happening and what you can do to stop it.

---

### Step 1: Proactive Nervous System Regulation

**[12:00]** - Discover the difference between "911" nervous system regulation (what to do in the moment) and preventative practices (how to build resilience over time).

**[13:30]** - I’ll show you easy, practical ways to regulate your nervous system daily—without spending a ton of time or money.

**[15:00]** - You’ll leave with actionable tools to build emotional capacity so you can handle stressors without feeling overwhelmed.

---

### Step 2: Understanding and Guiding Emotions

**[17:30]** - I’ll teach you how to interpret emotions as messengers rather than fighting or ignoring them.

**[19:00]** - You’ll learn how to "ride the wave" of emotion without being overtaken by it—and how this simple skill can dramatically change your life.

**[20:45]** - By the end of this section, you’ll know how to stop reacting to emotions impulsively and start directing them intentionally.

---

### Step 3: Creating Productive Thoughts, Beliefs, and Support Systems

**[22:30]** - Learn why your current thoughts may be keeping you stuck and how to change the way you think for good.

**[24:00]** - I’ll guide you through building beliefs about self-worth, lovability, and what’s possible for your future.

**[25:30]** - You’ll walk away with a clear understanding of how to replace self-criticism with self-advocacy and start living the life you truly want.

---

### What Emotional Mastery Will Do for You

**[27:00]** - By mastering this process, you’ll gain self-love, resilience, confidence, and fulfillment.

**[28:15]** - You’ll see how emotional mastery impacts every area of your life, from your relationships to your career, and even your day-to-day joy.

---

### My Coaching Program: Take This Further

**[29:30]** - I’ll share how my *Emotional Mastery Coaching Program* works and how it can help you create the life you’ve been dreaming of.

**[31:00]** - You’ll learn what’s included: one-on-one coaching, daily private podcasts, and access to transformative trainings—all designed to help you succeed.

---

### Actionable Takeaways and Next Steps

**[33:00]** - Before you go, I’ll help you reflect on how emotional mastery can shift your life—and encourage you to take the next step by booking a free consultation with me.

**[34:30]** - Don’t forget: Every change starts with a decision. Let’s explore together how to make emotional mastery your reality.

---

### Closing

**[35:00]** - Thank you for joining me today! Remember, a new episode drops every week. If you found this helpful, leave a review and share it with someone who needs it.

** Ready to take the next step? Book your free consultation now at [amandahess.ca/bookacall](https://amandahess.ca/bookacall). Let’s create the life you’ve always wanted!

Interested in working with Amanda? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: https://amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself?preview_theme_id=2160502340

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

Join me as we dive deep into the often-overlooked world of rest—specifically, mental and emotional rest. In a culture that glorifies productivity and the ability to push through, we explore the undeniable need for true rest in our lives. Contrary to the societal narrative, I challenge the notion that rest is merely a means to enhance productivity; rather, it is an essential component for our overall well-being.

Drawing from personal experiences and coaching insights, we unravel the harmful mindset that associates rest with weakness. I share a transformative moment from my own life when a lack of rest led to a significant breakdown, highlighting the epidemic of sleep deprivation and exhaustion prevalent in our society.

As we navigate the modern era inundated with constant stimuli and technological advancements, we discuss the impact of these factors on our ability to rest and recharge—both mentally and emotionally. The episode explores the struggles faced by many, especially women dealing with anxiety and the societal pressure to conform to unrealistic expectations of what rest should look like.

We take a closer look at the relentless pace of our daily lives, where we often go from a hundred to zero without providing our brains the necessary transition to wind down. I share practical insights on achieving mental rest by giving our brains new jobs and engaging in high-intensity interval training (HIT). This approach provides a mental reset, allowing for a smoother transition into physical rest.

Additionally, we explore the concept of emotional rest, acknowledging the importance of accepting and processing our emotions without judgment. I recount a personal experience from a recent skating competition, emphasizing the significance of allowing ourselves to feel and process emotions, even in challenging moments.

Ultimately, the episode delves into the interconnected nature of mental, emotional, and physical rest, highlighting the importance of cultivating a supportive ecosystem for our well-being. Discover actionable steps to incorporate rest into your daily life and empower yourself with the understanding that true rest goes beyond the conventional narratives.

Tune in to this episode and embark on a journey toward embracing rest as a vital component of a rich and fulfilling life.

Get Amanda's FREE 3 Part Anxiety Audio Course here: https://amanda-hess-coaching.ck.page/anxiety

Book a Strategy Session: https://amandahesscoaching.as.me/call

Interested in working with Amanda? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: https://amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself?preview_theme_id=2160502340

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess