Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

You want to feel like your partner is your teammate in making this marriage better. But you may sometimes (or often) feel alone in doing that work, or it seems he avoids working on certain aspects of your marriage–even if you’ve asked him to. You're not quite sure what it takes to sway the tides and get him improving your marriage by your side.

I have been here, too. But I learned how to change all of that! Now I never feel I’m alone in doing what it takes to make our marriage great. It is a truly sweet thing to see your significant other pro-actively growing and working by your side to improve things between you.
That’s why I want you to know the secret to inviting him to improve things with you–and having him accept your invitation, of course!

That's what we dive into in this episode. We first look at what NOT to do, and how often our normal approach to getting his support in changing things actually leads to him resisting doing it. Then we dive deep into what you actually need to do to get him on board.

And it’s not about saying just the right thing, though words are part of it. The key is something deeper, something that you can unlock inside of yourself that will open the door to him wanting to improve things, too.

Let me lay it out for you, so you can make the changes in you that will lead to him contributing more than ever to having a marriage with you that deepens in its loving sensitivity, intimacy, connection, and mutual support the longer you’re together.
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076 Today I’m sharing with you the 3 phases we go through to get to a mature love that lasts in our marriage.

Often we don't understand or recognize the phase we’re in, that it is normal, and what we can do to move our relationship through the harder phase and into the place that is most deeply alive and loving–and so we miss out on ever getting there.
Today, that all changes!
In this episode I help you understand what phase you are in now, so you can not be careless or get discouraged, and so you can ultimately transition most smoothly into the deeply unwaveringly, lasting, loving marriage you truly want.
If you aren’t so happy in your marriage, or you feel sorta bored, or are struggling, if you have more fights than you’d like, more annoyance and resentment, more distance and disconnection...or perhaps you're feeling resigned to never feeling happy and satisfied, or are even thinking about leaving, or longing for early days...
This is a normal phase. It doesn’t mean something has gone wrong! It’s a phase you can move beyond.
But I promise, you don't really want to go back to the early days. You want to move forward into the days of Re-enchantment. And you can.
Listen in to hear all about it, and what it takes to move into the best phase of your marriage, one that will not be a “phase”, but the place you stay for life.

SHOW NOTES
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Learn about and join Hannah's marriage coaching program for sensitive women, TREASURED, here

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

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074 We all are born with 2 particular “biases” of our brains that make lasting love difficult...that is, until we understand them and learn to overcome them!

These innate biases are simply ways our human brains (highly sensitive or not) naturally function that lead to perceiving the world–and our partner –in certain predictable ways.

If you ever feel resentful, disappointed in, frustrated with, or hurt by your partner...if the same issues are coming up in this relationship that came up in past ones, if you feel less respect, attraction or admiration of your husband than you wish– or you generally just aren’t as happy as you’d like to be in your marriage, I can guarantee that’s at least in part because of these 2 biases.

When we do not understand these biases and how they operate hand in hand, we live our lives at their effect–meaning they rule our experience of love. For the worse...

It’s almost like they cast a painful spell on us (what I call Real but not True syndrome) ... leaving us feeling very real painful feelings and wreaking havoc in our marriages. Interestingly, these feelings aren’t based on truth. They are based on your brain’s biased, subjective, distorted way of seeing things.

Today, I give you the understanding you need to see how these 2 innate biases are negatively affecting your own marriage, and share how you can rise above them by consciously choosing to not fall under their spell–so you can feel so much more of all the good stuff in your marriage, and have a love that lasts for the long haul.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.
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SHOW NOTES
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178 If you're unhappy enough in your marriage to be questioning if you should stay or go, you probably feel uncertain, confused, afraid. You're too scared and unsure if it's the right thing to do to actually leave, but you also know you don't want to go on living like this with your spouse.
What if your spouse CAN improve? What if you CAN connect in the deeper ways you want? What if you CAN’T? What if he can't? It can be paralyzing. And spirit killing!
It’s time for some clarity about what's best for you moving forward!
In this episode, I will help you get that. Although there isn't a black and white answer I can hand you today, I do have some clear advice to share. And even an outline for an illuminating and super clarifying conversation that you can have with your spouse to help you know whether it is time, or not, to leave—or whether this relationship actually has room to improve into a fulfilling one you really WANT to stay in.
I will also share more in depth the 5 ingredients you need to put into this clarifying conversation, and what needs to happen first, during and after.
I could have easily called this episode “How To Motivate Your Spouse Stretch And Grow Into The Partner You Really Want”, instead. Because what I share in this episode, if you implement it, is the most powerful way I have ever seen to invite and motivate your spouse to do a whole lot more to make your marriage one you both feel great in...
And if he is unable even then to be the loving supportive partner you want in life, you will know for sure that staying is not what's best for you, and be free to move on with integrity, confidence, and peace. Listen in.
SHOW NOTES:

Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching (learn more here), and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Doors Close for the foreseeable future on January 15th, 2025! Fill out this form to get started. SEE WHAT PAST CLIENTS HAVE TO SAY ABOUT WORKING WITH HANNAH HERE.Find Hannah's On-Demand Courses (for more connection, attraction, and ending hurt and disconnection) here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
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180 Most, if not all, couples argue. Even when their relationship is very healthy. So if you and your spouse find yourself mired in the occasional --or even more regular -- conflict, it doesn't mean it’s detrimental to your marriage, and it doesn't have to be painful...

In fact, conflict can actually be an important part of growing a more deeply intimate, connected and supportive marriage.

How do you make sure conflict goes the most smoothly it can, does the least damage– and the most good in your marriage? As an HSP I know you want to know!

The answer is simply: develop some simple skills and put some basic ground rules for conflict in place.

In this episode, you will learn my 9 most highly suggested basic ground rules for navigating conflict better, and hear my advice on how to begin implementing them, and actually start the process right away!

This episode is a great one to listen to with your spouse, if they are willing!

Grab a pen and some paper, dive in, and be ready to change the course of your conflicts forever for the better, so you can solve issues, really understand each other better, and become a closer, stronger couple over time.

SHOW NOTES

CHECK OUT THE COURSES MENTIONED:

• Stop Taking It So Personally
• Foundations of Emotional Wellbeing for HSPs

OTHER COURSES Of HANNAH'S

• Closer To Your Husband in 7 Days
• Bring Back the Attraction

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