Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

162 Today you'll hear about one of the big things my husband and I do once a year that just lights up our marriage–it’s like a total connection, attraction, and intimacy rejuvenator for us. And it can be for you, too.
Although usually the most important work you can do in your marriage is about small actions and changes made on a regular basis, I’ve found that there are some bigger things you can do occasionally that will really infuse your relationship with so much of ALL that you most want it to be. This is one that I highly suggest.
Listen in to hear why this is so good for any marriage (including how it can amp up the attraction and passion between you, as well as set you up for a more connected relationship for the rest of the year), how to do this well as an HSP, how to handle obstacles to making it happen, and what to do if you have any resistance to this idea.
You’ll also hear why, although doing this is truly a gift to any intimate relationship, there is something that is definitely more essential to do when it comes to having a loving connected marriage–and I will share just what that is in this episode. Dive in.
SHOW NOTES:
Get deeper marriage help from Hannah:

• Is everything decent between you and your spouse, but a bit dull? If bringing alive more of that flirty attraction and connection of the earlier days is your top priority, my short training, Bring Back The Attraction, is a great starting place for you! Grab it here.
• Even better? When you join Hannah for 4 months of private 1:1 Coaching, you'll get her deep, super individualized support to harness your power to feel amazing in your marriage and get more sensitivity, connection, and support than ever from your partner. Get started by filling out this form.

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169 This is the first in a re-boot of some of the most essential episodes of the podcast that I will be releasing occasionally. Whether you’re newer to the podcast, or if you’ve listened to every episode, this one is a must listen (or re-listen).
Because often, as humans, we go about trying to improve our marriage backwards: we're more focused on changing our partner than changing ourselves.
But focusing on your spouse isn’t where you pack the most punch for actual change!
There is a more effective, easier, and more rewarding approach to improving your marriage, where you actually have powerful influence to have the loving, connected, supportive marriage you want with your husband.
It entails bringing your focus back to YOURSELF, by answering this essential question: “Who do I want to be in my relationship?”. And then centering your focus on becoming her.
This will get way better results in your marriage.
In this updated episode, we look at what it means to be who you want to be and WHY focusing on this is so effective when we want to improve our love lives.
I illustrate this with an example of a challenge in my own marriage and the difference in results I get when I'm focusing on my husband improving, versus stepping in to being who I really want to be, instead.
Then I help you define for yourself who you want to be.
Creating this clear vision for yourself is essential in order to actually take that journey of becoming her. Once you take this step you will be on the way to truly making changes by leaps and bounds in your marriage.
SHOW NOTES:
Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. When you sign up by mid November, 2024, you will also get, as a BONUS, the LIVE Foundations of Emotional Well-being Course. It all starts by filling out this form.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.

172 If there was one thing I could shout out from the rooftops right now to help all intimate relationships –and really all of humankind and our very planet– what I share in this episode would be it. It is that important.
Have you ever felt a sense of your spouse being “against” you, almost like they’re an enemy, a nemesis, a “bad guy” at moments, if not much of the time?
If so, you are FAR from alone. So many of my clients have told me that they feel that way, even if it is only subtle. And the amount of division people are experiencing in general is at a super high level in so many realms. And, of course, one of them is between intimate partners.
Even in this most intimate and sacred of a relationship, it's all too easy to fall into this sense of being against each other. And as our hearts start to feel hardened to them, it’s like we lose touch with the very tender, real, full of feeling human we fell in love with. They become less 3 dimensional, less human.
But what's really going on is that we lose connection with the part of ourselves that can connect.
This is a very common phenomenon, even in relationships that start out great. And it is a prelude to further disintegration of love– and even divorce.
Listen in to prevent this oh-so-common experience from slowly sucking your relationship of love and connection.
You will learn:

• why, over time, we tend to fall into this sense that our spouse is the “Bad Other” (some of the science, and physiology behind it),
• what it has to do with stress and a maladaptation of our nervous systems to our modern lives,
• what to do about it on various levels,
• and 3 specifics steps to melt it away and feel a sense of remembering the tender human you fell in love with

....so you can connect back to the part of you that CAN connect so beautiful and fully–and STAY connected to it.
SHOW NOTES:
Learn all about Foundations of Emotional Well-Being Course; The Root Of A Better Relationship here. DOORS CLOSE DEC 2nd. Join here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.

163 Understanding this one thing about relationships can truly make or break your marriage:
What we practice grows stronger. And in our relationship, we are, consciously or unconsciously, always practicing.

We practice having arguments, or finding our way to a solution. We practice reactive communication, or choosing to communicate more consciously, we practice repulsion or we practice attraction, etc.

If that sounds intriguing but confusing to you, and you aren't sure how to practice the things that build a strong and loving relationship that lasts, then this is a must-listen episode.
Because in it, I tell you what is actually at the source of the patterns you are practicing in your relationship, so you can make a conscious choice about if you want to keep practicing them, or instead choose ones that are going to truly enrich your relationship.
This is a truly back-to-the-basics episode–meaning, a deep and important reminder of what I teach that is most essential to understand to improve your marriage in big ways.
What you will hear today is what distinguishes my approach to relationships from most relationship advice out there, and WHY my clients get such amazing results with me, when they haven’t with all the other relationship help they've tried before. So dig in.
SHOW NOTES:
Join Hannah for 4 months of private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to harness your power to feel amazing in your marriage and get more sensitivity, connection, and support than ever from your partner. Get started by filling out this form.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.

159 Almost all of us instinctively approach our intimate relationships in mixed ways: ones that generate more loving intimacy and harmony, and ones that drive division and pain, which I call the Backfiring Tactics.
To have the marriage you want, it will take cultivating more of the first, and minimizing those Backfiring Tactics. This is always one of the very first things I help my clients do, and I want you to be able to do the same.
The thing is, it can be hard to do, because the backfiring tactics can seduce you into believing you are acting “empowered”, when really it’s a completely false sense of power that’s actually hurting you and your marriage.
So, if you want to feel close, connected, and on the same loving team in life with your honey, it’s essential to be on the lookout for these sneaky perpetrators of so much pain and division, so you can stop doing them and choose approaches that work SO much better in love.
Listen to this episode to hear the 7 primary Backfiring Tactics (I’ve added a few since the first episode on them years back), and why we are so prone to them, and what exactly they look like in action, along with recommendations for other episodes to go deeper into each one, so you can identify which ones you tend to fall prey to, and begin to put an end to them.
As you begin this process you will be moving out of the power-over dynamics that keep our marriages locked in painful cycles of struggle, and into the power WITH approaches, truly relationally empowered ones that make your marriage into one that continues to deepen over time in love, mutual respect, supportiveness, and joy.

SHOW NOTES:
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ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!