"The Track Will Tell You" with Boyd Varty
Explicit content warning
11/20/19 • 60 min
We're joined this week by lion tracker and coach, Boyd Varty. Boyd recently published a book called, "The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life." We talk about the art of tracking, his recovery from PTSD after several traumatic events (including getting attacked by a crocodile), his shift to doing coaching and his experience of meeting and living with Nelson Mandela as a boy. Our question this week comes from an actor whose work has dried up.
Boyd's Book
Boyd's TED Talk
Boyd's Website
Instagram
The question this week:
Hey Man -
I’m 47 years old and have worked my entire adult life as an actor. I know I’m lucky to have made a career out of it, but I’m struggling. Like most working actors, I’ve had good years and lean years, but the last couple of years have been particularly lean. In the past, even if I only booked one “big” job a year, I still got steady work with commercials, etc. But in the last few years, everything has dried up. I work maybe once a month. I’ve supplemented it with some other gigs, but otherwise have a lot of time on my hands.
This all also coincides with some big life changes: my wife and I had two kids and moved to the suburbs. Luckily, her career has taken off, otherwise we’d be really stressed. Basically, to be useful, I spend a lot of my free time taking care of our home and kids. I’m left feeling like a house husband. I love our kids, but this is not how I envisioned my life. But I’m dependent on other people to do the work I love. I think other people might say it’s time to find another career, but I’m not ready to let acting go. Still, I can’t just stay at home and be depressed waiting for more work to come my way. What should I do?
Signed,
Wasting Away in Westchester
★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★We're joined this week by lion tracker and coach, Boyd Varty. Boyd recently published a book called, "The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life." We talk about the art of tracking, his recovery from PTSD after several traumatic events (including getting attacked by a crocodile), his shift to doing coaching and his experience of meeting and living with Nelson Mandela as a boy. Our question this week comes from an actor whose work has dried up.
Boyd's Book
Boyd's TED Talk
Boyd's Website
Instagram
The question this week:
Hey Man -
I’m 47 years old and have worked my entire adult life as an actor. I know I’m lucky to have made a career out of it, but I’m struggling. Like most working actors, I’ve had good years and lean years, but the last couple of years have been particularly lean. In the past, even if I only booked one “big” job a year, I still got steady work with commercials, etc. But in the last few years, everything has dried up. I work maybe once a month. I’ve supplemented it with some other gigs, but otherwise have a lot of time on my hands.
This all also coincides with some big life changes: my wife and I had two kids and moved to the suburbs. Luckily, her career has taken off, otherwise we’d be really stressed. Basically, to be useful, I spend a lot of my free time taking care of our home and kids. I’m left feeling like a house husband. I love our kids, but this is not how I envisioned my life. But I’m dependent on other people to do the work I love. I think other people might say it’s time to find another career, but I’m not ready to let acting go. Still, I can’t just stay at home and be depressed waiting for more work to come my way. What should I do?
Signed,
Wasting Away in Westchester
★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
Previous Episode
"For the love of men" with Liz Plank
Our guest this week is Vox journalist Liz Plank. Liz recently published her first book, "For The Love of Men: A Vision for Mindful Masculinity". We talk extensively about how men are cheated by patriarchal attitudes about masculinity and Liz has done the research. Finally, Liz helps us with an advice question from someone who thinks he doesn't have any game when it comes to dating.
Liz Links:
Her website
Her book
Twitter
Instagram
TikTok
Our question this week:
Hey Man,
I’m 28 and ended a 2 year relationship roughly 9 months ago. Before that relationship, I had a few girlfriends, but didn’t date that much. Now, I’ve been trying hard to date around but I’m extremely self-conscious about my inability to talk to women. I don’t know how to flirt or pick women up. Many times, if I’m using an app, the conversations just fizzle out. If it’s in person, I can be shy and take a while to warm up, which I’m sure is a turn off. There’s no sexual tension or chemistry and, outside of one night of post break-up sex with my ex, I haven’t had sex with anyone in the 9 months.
Most of the time I’m just convinced that the dates are awkward and I never bother to follow up. They almost never follow up with me, so I imagine the feeling is mutual. Looking back, I realize that the majority of relationships I’ve been in are because the women pursued it, not me. But that seems so weak and pathetic. How do I go about actually dating women that I want to date?
Signed,
Game-less in Greenpoint
★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★Next Episode
"Are we animals?" with Professor Matt Gutmann
We're joined this week by Matt Gutmann, professor of anthropology at Brown University and author of the recently published book, "Are Men Animals? How Modern Masculinity Sells Men Short." This book takes a look at the broad range of masculinities across cultures and questions whether biology can really be to blame for male misbehavior (spoiler: it can't). We talk about his book, his background and how he became interested in the field of men and masculinities. Later, Matt helps us answer an advice question from a college student who winds up on a bad date after a disagreement about money.
Hey Man,
I’m 19 years old and have just started dating a girl that I go to college with. We’ve been dating and hanging for the last 6 weeks. On our first date, I asked if she was cool with splitting everything and she seemed fine with it. On this last date, though, I accidentally forgot my wallet in my dorm room. It wasn’t until it was time to pay for our food that I realized I didn’t have my wallet with me. I told her I would pay her back later when I got it and I was surprised that she was really annoyed by this. She said something like, “If anything, you should be offering to pay for me, not the other way around.” I kept trying to explain that it wasn’t intentional, I felt embarrassed and I wasn’t asking her to pay for me. It didn’t do anything to get her out of her bad mood and the date was pretty much ruined. We were supposed to go to the movies afterwards and she basically said she wasn’t going to buy my ticket. Instead, we went back to my dorm room and I paid her back on the spot. It’s only been a couple of days since, but things have obviously chilled between us. What should I do?
Signed,
Cash-poor in Columbia
★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★If you like this episode you’ll love
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