"The lobster that hunches his back" with Andrew Marantz

This week we're joined by the New Yorker's Andrew Marantz. Andrew has a book out this fall: "Antisocial: Online Extremists, Techno-Utopians And the Highjacking of the American Conversation." We discuss how he spent the last couple of years interviewing and hanging out with alt-light and alt-right media figures (he educates us on the difference between the two terms), their distorted ideas about manhood, and how he kept his sanity being surrounded by people who hate what he represents. Then we answer an advice question from someone who is being bullied by a roommate. Oh, and we also embrace our inner soy boys and get deep into our love of salad.

Hey Man,

I find myself in a confusing and uncomfortable situation and I don’t know what to do. I recently moved to New York from Maine (where I grew up and went to college) and I’ve been living with the same group of guys for about 9 months. I like them all and I feel a bit of pressure to fit in. I’m not a typical bro, but I know how to act that way and I want everyone to like me. Since I’ve lived there, I’ve become really good friends with one guy. We hang out 1 on 1 and have had some real, honest conversations that feel deeper than the usual bro-ey banter that we all engage in as roommates.

Lately, though, something’s shifted and Greg has been teasing me in front of our other roommates in ways that feel like more than just ballbusting. I’m 5’7, skinny and am almost always the smallest guy in the group. It’s something I’ve always felt self-conscious about. Greg’s been teasing me about my size in ways that feel humiliating, especially since it’s in front of our roommates and sometimes their girlfriends. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. In high school, some good friends also bullied me, in much worse ways but again by humiliating me in front of other people. I’m not sure what to do. Am I just being extra sensitive to this situation because of what happened before? Is there legitimately something wrong with me since I’m being targeted again? How should I handle this and what should I do?

Signed,

Wimpy in Williamsburg

Andrew @ The New Yorker
Andrew's Book