"Let there be play" with Dominatrix Dia Dynasty

We're joined this week by professional dominatrix Dia Dynasty. We discuss sex, kink and the power that comes from knowing your sexual self. In the second half, Dia helps us with an advice question from a man whose relatoinship struggles are leading him to wonder if he's not cut out for monogamy.

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Hey Man,

I’m looking for some help in figuring out my priorities in romantic relationships. I’m 36 years old and am about 8 months into what feels like a serious relationship. My longest relationship lasted a year and a half when I was 30. Mostly, I see people in a more casual way and things fizzle out on their own after a few weeks or maybe a couple of months. I’m almost always the one to end things and even when I’m not, I don’t mind that things have ended. But things feel different in this relationship. Part of it is just that I know I’m tired of what I’ve been doing and I see my friends partnering up and settling down. I know this is the time to do that. If anything, I’m behind everyone. But this person checks a lot of boxes for me on paper.

The problem is, despite there being so much that I like about the relationship, I think about breaking up with her once a week or every two weeks. It’s not all the time, but it is every time she does something that bothers me. I’m neater than she is, so when things are messy, I tend to just think about how life would be easier without this person. Or, any time there’s tension around making plans or our sex life (we don’t have it as often as I’d like), my mind just goes to “this would be so much easier if I was on my own.” If I’m being honest, I’ve had the same thought many times before, which is why I’ve been happy to let relationships just fizzle out. Is this a sign we should end things? Am I not made for long term monogamy?

Signed,

Fearful on Fifth Ave