"Is this okay?" with Avi Klein & Sam Graham-Felsen

Our first episode with co-hosts Avi Klein & Sam Graham Felsen.

We go over the premise of the show, what we hope to get out of it. Avi talks about his work as a psychotherapist and Sam talks about his background and novel. Then we get to our first advice question before each sharing a piece of advice that matters to us.

Hey Man,
I’m 24 and am 6 months into a relationship with an incredible woman who is 10 years older than me. I’ve been in a few relationships, none of which lasted particularly long besides a relationship that spanned most of high school into college. What feels different in this relationship is the dynamic with the woman I’m with - she very much wears the pants in our relationship and in her life. She’s worked her way up the corporate ladder in a competitive field, is very clear about how she wants to spend her time independently and with me. She even calls the shots in bed. For the most part, I have to admit, I really like it. In fact, it feels like this is what I’ve been missing my whole life. She’s demanding and it motivates me to do better. I also like the clarity in giving someone what they want. I guess this is to say, this feels like it satisfies a deep need in me.

But I also feel embarrassed by it and embarrassed by how much I like it. Sometimes I wonder if I should take charge more, make plans for the two of us, etc. but I can tell she gets annoyed and doesn’t like it when I try. Is this okay? Is this a normal relationship and how do I figure that out? I also notice that my friends are a little weirded out by this relationship. They’re polite, but I can tell something is off. What do I do about this?

Signed,
Soft in South Brooklyn

A few things we talk about:

Getting beaten by your wife in poker, “soft”, Freaks and Geeks, having a tutu collection, Marv Albert & Eddie Murphy, not liking your friend's partner, Advice Not Given by Mark Epstein, leaving your friend's NFL fantasy league, being a vegetarian at your friend's BBQ, Sam calls Avi out for not liking him when they first met, how annoying it is to watch how your friends act in new relationships, Buddhism & Mindfulness.

Send us an email at [email protected] or give us a call at 917-426-4326 to have your question featured on the show.

Avi's website and articles about masculinity and Louis C.K.
Sam's novel

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