Healing Honeys (formerly OPENHOUSE with Louise Rumball)

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119 - Being needy in love / the fear of abandonment

Healing Honeys (formerly OPENHOUSE with Louise Rumball)

10/09/23 • 50 min

Do you need people close to feel safe? Do you think they might always leave? They’re probably not going to stay. If these statements are relatable, this episode is for you. Today, Louise and Stephanie discuss the abandonment wound, how you can have the wound *without* being abandoned and how it can drive us to overcompensate, cling, and pull others closer.

The pair talk about the concept of ‘overcompensating’ to the abandonment wound, as well as:

The neurobiological roots of abandonment
The roots of clingy behavior and over giving
The concept of pulling and keeping people close
The subconscious patterns at play, as well as repeating cycles
Why if it's hysterical, it's often historical
And more

This is a critical episode to help you understand how your abandonment wound shows up in your life, and how you can start to work to heal it. Understanding & conscious awareness is the first step in the healing journey.

HEAL YOUR ABANDONMENT WOUND: GET THE GUIDE

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115 - Meeting an Ex: When to Do It and When to Walk Away

Healing Honeys (formerly OPENHOUSE with Louise Rumball)

09/11/23 • 40 min

There are some situations when meeting an ex is necessary, and some where it is NOT. Today, in Part 2 of the ‘Ex Factor - when should I meet up with an ex’ series, Louise & clinical psychologist Dr. Tari Mack get into that question. They discuss:

Collecting and exchanging stuff
When meeting an ex is an absolute necessity and when it's a big NO
The Checklist - discussing intentions, expectations, time frames and healing
How to handle mutual friends, parties and co-parenting
The importance of setting boundaries and considering the impact on others when meeting with an ex

Plus, to send or not to send? They also discuss the age old ‘writing a letter to an ex’ - should you send it, should you not? Dr. Tari and Louise have slightly different opinions on this one. Join us to work out where you stand on the ‘send it, or don’t send it’ spectrum.

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116 - Emotional eating, binge eating + the nervous system

Healing Honeys (formerly OPENHOUSE with Louise Rumball)

09/18/23 • 51 min

Have you learned about the crazy connection between food and our nervous system yet? Understanding your nervous system (and polyvagal theory) could overhaul your relationship with eating and food. Is food the ultimate drug and most widely available method of self soothing? Does it help us understand why we reach for food, when we may need to reach for something else? Today we ask: are you hungry for love, or hungry for food, or is your nervous system crying out for help?

Louise is joined by integrative health practitioner, Sarah Murphy, as they have a totally new way of looking at comfort eating, binge eating and your relationship with food.

The pair discuss:

How childhood shapes our relationship with food
Hunger for love, hunger for bonding & the oxytocin deficiency theory
Why feeling loved, seen, heard and cherished can reduce emotional eating or binge eating
Why we eat when we’re not hungry (pleasure, calming and self soothing)
Understanding the impact of stress on our appetite and how it affects our relationship with food
The connection between nervous system regulation, dysregulation, the vagus nerve and our emotional eating patterns.

+ The Ladder Analogy - how food can take you through different states of the nervous system when we need to learn to ‘scaffold’ on our own.

Sarah also delivers us a suite of top tips and tricks on how to break this emotional eating cycle covering lifestyle changes, cold plunging, bodywork, gut health, supplement recommendations, and more.

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136 - Why You Feel Empty (and How to Heal) ft. Dr Jonice Webb

Healing Honeys (formerly OPENHOUSE with Louise Rumball)

12/25/23 • 51 min

Do you have big emotions or nearly none at all? Do you feel blocked off from others even when you want to connect? Ever wondered why intimacy seems to be so easy for everyone else? If yes, this episode is for you. This one is for the people who had ‘good parents’ and a ‘good childhood’ and objectively ‘not much to complain about’ but still don’t seem to have found the answers, solutions or connections in intimacy that they were hoping for.

Today, Louise is joined by Dr. Jonice Webb, leading clinical psychologist in the space of childhood emotional neglect to discuss how a parent’s failure to notice, acknowledge or respond to your emotions and emotional needs can deeply shape the adult that shows up in the dating and friendship world today.

The pair discuss how:

Our brain registers what ‘happened’ more than what didn’t happen (& how our childhood can impact our ventral striatum)
Having our feelings invalidated (being told they are wrong or excessive) or that emotions are a burden is very damaging for children
The concept of ‘walling off’ our feelings (so they happen outside of our awareness) + how this shows up in adulthood
The concepts of emotional numbness, emotional suppression and emotional disconnection
How these experiences can impact our self-worth, self-esteem and relational health
A lack of emotional attunement and validation in childhood can lead to a lack of self care in adulthood

The pair also discuss a journey towards warmth, connection and recovery. They talk about HOW to break down emotional walls and allow oneself to feel, facing neglected emotions, finding meaning and purpose.

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152 - Why am I exhausted (the Freeze response)

Healing Honeys (formerly OPENHOUSE with Louise Rumball)

04/16/24 • 37 min

Welcome to *the* episode designed to help you understand how to actually start recognising, understanding and shifting out of the ‘freeze mode’ of Polyvagal Theory.

The more work we do with our There She Glows cohort we’re realizing some people are in HARD freeze and have been for a long time. But coming out of freeze needs to be gentle.

Louise and Sarah delve into everything related to 'freeze' and explore practical daily tips, tricks, and hacks to help transition your body out of this state and return it to its 'baseline'.

If you’re depressed or feel stuck, lost and like you can’t seem to function in the way you want to, this episode is for you. It’s also a beautiful episode to help you support others around you who may be feeling ‘frozen’, stuck or depressed.

The pair discuss:

Why you can’t out-think the freeze mode
How healing freeze lies in the bottom-up approach to healing (+ what this means)
The concept of a ‘felt sense of safety’ and how important this is to healing the freeze state
Somatic experiencing - what it is and why the release of emotions is vital for healing freeze
Tips, tricks and methods that can help alleviate the ‘freeze’ state: including felt sense of safety, morning sunlight, intermittent fasting, psychedelics, mushrooms, BDNF and more
The concept of ‘bringing your life force back into your body’
Identifying what energisation means for you - moving, grooving, healing, shaking, singing, dancing, painting, friendship, human connection - and more

The pair also dive into how neural rewiring is a big part of the body learning to function outside of the freeze state and how it can help you shift back to the state where you were born to thrive, heal and repair!

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153 - Inner child healing: where to start

Healing Honeys (formerly OPENHOUSE with Louise Rumball)

04/23/24 • 54 min

Healing girlies already know they need to heal their inner child - but where do you start? Today, Louise sits down with psychotherapist Tasha Bailey to get into this & more.

Louise & Tasha discuss:

What inner child healing *actually is*
How our childhood shapes our adulthood
The concept of age regressions (including you anger, we see you!)
The connection between the inner child, the inner critic, the shadow, and how you feel about yourself
Big bad boundaries (and the importance of them when healing a wounded inner child)
How important play is for children and adults alike

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155 - Long Distance Relationship Tips

Healing Honeys (formerly OPENHOUSE with Louise Rumball)

05/07/24 • 30 min

I'm from the UK, my boyfriend is from Mexico. From the dreaded airport goodbyes to the joyous reunions, long distance relationships (LDR) can be HARD and EMOTIONALLY DRAINING. Add an anxious attachment style into the mix and you have the recipe for a rough ride ahead. Who are you with? Who are you f**king? What drugs are you taking? We’ve all at one point or another had these uncomfortable thoughts in an LDR but when managed well? They can also be beautiful, powerful testaments to a relationship that is worth going the long distance for! In today’s solo episode, Louise dives headfirst into the wild world of long-distance relationships to arm you with the tips and tricks you need to make your long distance love thrive across miles and time zones.

In this episode, Louise spills the tea on:

Her personal experience of navigating her 2-year long distance relationship.
Managing communication and staying emotionally connected.
The importance of maintaining trust in an LDR.
The power of thoughtful gestures.
The 9 tips she swears by to hack the long distance game + to keep the romance alive.
Facetiming fatigue and how you can spice things up in other ways.
Her straight-out-of-a-movie ultimate meet cute with her boyfriend.

And more!

So if you're currently in a long-distance relationship or considering taking the plunge, this episode is your ULTIMATE survival guide. It’s fast, it’s fun, and you get Louise all to yourself with plenty of heartfelt advice from someone who's been there, done that, and still believes that love knows no bounds!

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156 - Justin Bieber + Parasocial Relationships

Healing Honeys (formerly OPENHOUSE with Louise Rumball)

05/14/24 • 47 min

Crying over Biebs? You’re not alone. There Louise was. Standing in a cute little organic supermarket when it happened. Justin and Hailey Bieber announced that they were having a BABY! Her reaction? Silence and a weird smidge of... something? Had that feeling too? You’re not alone. That’s the story of how this episode was born. Pun intended!

From dreaming of running into your favorite star on the street to feeling personally offended when they're criticized, the allure of celebrity culture can be downright intoxicating. But why do we feel this intense connection to people we've never even met? And how does it affect us on a deeper level? AND HOW CAN WE REALLY BE UPSET WHEN SOMEONE WE HAVE NEVER MET ANNOUNCES THEY ARE HAVING A BABY WITH A WOMAN WHO IS NOT YOU? In today’s episode, Louise sits down to investigate the psychological and emotional aspects of celebrity worship and parasocial relationships.

In this episode, Louise dives into:

The slightly odd but hilarious reactions she and her friends had to the Beiber pregnancy announcement.
The psychology behind celebrity worship and the three levels of parasocial relationships.
Why the Selena v. Hailey/ Damon v. Stefan debates get us in a chokehold.
Why criticism of our favorite fandoms and idols evokes visceral reactions (looking at you, Swifties).
The delulu belief that we can "fix" or help celebrities like Justin Bieber.
Maladaptive daydreaming and escapism associated with celebrity fascination.
Themes of the sheer relentlessness of life, self-worth, and attachment styles.

And more!

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128 - Avoidant Attachment: The Real Reason They Pull Away

Healing Honeys (formerly OPENHOUSE with Louise Rumball)

11/27/23 • 48 min

The avoidantly attached deserved some airtime. Are avoidantly attached individuals avoiding love or avoiding vulnerability, rejection and potential discomfort? In this heavily requested episode, this week Louise & clinical psychologist Dr. Tari Mack dive into the Avoidant Attachment Style, shed light on the motivations behind the avoidantly attached and also explore how those with the avoidant attachment view OTHERS (including the anxiously attached!).

The pair discuss:

What’s really going on behind the Avoidant Attachment Style? (exploring the true drivers)
The difference between the Dismissive Avoidant and the Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style
How seeking comfort & sharing feelings is often thought of as ‘useless’ for the Avoidantly Attached
The ties between childhood & the avoidant attachment style
The specific triggers and fears related to this attachment style; and
Why withdrawal, shutting down, seeking space to regulate - often without communicating - can impact a relationship

The pair also discuss the top triggers and fears of the avoidant attachment style and why things often go wrong, quickly, after having sex.

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