Losing a Husband to Cancer - Vicky

01/17/24 • 42 min

Maureen Pollard interviews Vicky about losing her husband to myeloma, after surviving prostate and bladder cancer. They discuss the challenge of not having a cancer clinic where they lived, meaning they had to for drive hours back and forth for treatment. They spent so much money on hotels that they ended up having to leave their home and move closer to the clinic, adding an additional struggle of maneuvering their new apartment stairs in his state of illness. She talks about how her physical and mental health was affected as his health deteriorated, but she could still only see him with love and hope. "He's in the hospital and, this is before he died, and I stopped eating when he stopped eating. I lost 30 pounds, I wouldn't even get up to go seek water, all I could do was hold his hands and break down. And, he was so strong you know ... He wasn't getting better and I did not see that. I look at pictures now and I see how ill he was, but it's true when you look at someone through the eyes of love you don't see the illness, all you see is that beautiful face that you adore. My husband was everything to me, I mean our story was a love story." They also discuss how her friend Karen took her in after she lost everything (her home, her husband, and her own will to live) and how the Universe brought her a new friend who understood what she was going through. Both of these women lifted her up and helped her through the darkest time in her life, as did a song that her husband wrote while he was sick which you can listen to here (performed by John Sharkey): http://itunes.apple.com/album/id1715659192?ls=1&app=itunes

Previous Episode

Losing a Son to Cancer - Betsy (Part 2)

Maureen Pollard once again interviews Betsy about losing her adopted son to cancer. In part 2 of this discussion, Betsy continues to talk about the way that expressive arts was helpful both in the end of her son's life, as well as in Betsy's own grief. "All through the 4 years that he was dealing with cancer, each day I began to realize more and more he really had some artistic talent. But he also just drew strength. I used to call it 'The Beautiful Distraction' because he was such a traumatized young man in many ways, and to have something to keep his mind off a procedure he was about to have - it could be a simple blood draw, it could be a major amputation - but to keep his hands moving, building, painting, sketching and drawing was important every step of the way, all the way through to his death." You can listen to Part 1 here: https://soundcloud.com/griefstories/79-betsy-fisher/

Next Episode

Emily Wisser (Founder of The Grief Collective) on Grief

Maureen Pollard interviews Emily Wisser, Founder of The Grief Collective, about her experiences with grief. Emily lost her father to cancer when she was 19, and she discusses the contrast between enjoying being away at college for the first time, while at home her father was battling brain cancer and how isolating that felt for her. She talks about the ways the sadness stood out in her grief experience when she moved back home years after he passed, being in the place where her memories of him lived. They also discuss how therapy, as well as an art class helped her to heal. "Having that time, a few times a week, to just quiet your mind and sit down with some charcoal or some ink and a big sheet of paper, it was, I think, really therapeutic to me. Especially when I was, you know, really confronting some of that anxiety, it did help me have moments where I was able to just get in touch with more of that sense of calm."