Good Girl Deprogramming - 5. Confronting Misogyny with Felice Ayling

5. Confronting Misogyny with Felice Ayling

Explicit content warning

10/05/24 • 47 min

Good Girl Deprogramming

Episode 5 - Felice Ayling - Confronting Misogyny

Meet Felice Ayling, the dynamic force behind Loud Women, where she empowers female founders to not just make a mark but to make a meteor-sized impact. With a flair for shaking things up, her mission is to help bold, driven women like you unleash the full potential of your business with confidence and style.

What we talk about:

1:38 September’s Traumatic Events

Michelle and Felice discuss the heavy month of September, reflecting on recent traumatic events and disasters. They decide to keep the conversation light by using dark humour as a coping mechanism while acknowledging the emotional toll these events have had.

3:39 Taylor Swift and Social Media Backlash

Michelle and Felice talk about Taylor Swift’s experiences with criticism and misogyny. They discuss the backlash she received, her response through her album Lover, and Elon Musk’s inappropriate comments. The conversation highlights how men often try to silence women through threats and control.

6:21 Misandry and Female Rage

The discussion moves to their personal experiences with misandry as a reaction to extreme misogyny. Michelle and Felice share how female rage is often misunderstood and the difficulties of engaging with men who don’t actively support gender equality.

10:23 The Silent Majority and Gender Pay Gap

Michelle and Felice talk about the "silent majority" of men who stay indifferent to gender issues and discuss the gender pay gap. They emphasise the importance of educating men and the need for women to support each other without wasting energy on those unwilling to listen or change.

14:46 The Role of Pornography and Social Media

Michelle and Felice delve into how pornography perpetuates harmful attitudes towards women, citing a report that found 90% of adult content contains elements of violence or degradation. They express frustration over the lack of legal protections against such harmful content and its easy access through social media.

21:54 The Impact of Generational Conditioning

Michelle and Felice discuss how generational conditioning has shaped today’s gender inequality. They highlight the historical lack of rights for women and stress the importance of understanding these roots to address current issues.

22:10 The Fragility of Women’s Rights

The conversation shifts to the fragility of women’s rights globally and the regression seen in some regions, like the US. Michelle and Felice emphasise the need for collective action to protect these rights and support each other in the ongoing struggle.

46:10 The Role of Technology and AI

Michelle and Felice explore how technology, especially AI, is being misused to harm women through the creation and distribution of AI-generated nude images. They highlight the lack of legal protection and the urgent need for better regulation and enforcement.

46:31 The Importance of Empathy and Compassion

Michelle and Felice stress the need for empathy and compassion in addressing gender issues. They discuss how some men only empathise with gender inequality when it affects women in their immediate circle and call for holding men to higher standards of empathy and responsibility.

Follow Felice on social media:

Website - https://loudwomen.club/

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/feliceayling/

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@thegobbyfeminist

Follow Michelle on social media:

Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin

Buy Good Girl Deprogramming

Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon -

Episode 5 - Felice Ayling - Confronting Misogyny

What we talk about:

1:38 September’s Traumatic Events

3:39 Taylor Swift and Social Media Backlash

6:21 Misandry and Female Rage

10:23 The Silent Majority and Gender Pay Gap

14:46 The Role of Pornography and Social Media

21:54 The Impact of Generational Conditioning

22:10 The Fragility of Women’s Rights

46:10 The Role of Technology and AI

46:31 The Importance of Empathy and Compassion

Follow Felice on social media:

Website - https://loudwomen.club/

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/feliceayling/

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@thegobbyfeminist

Follow Michelle on social media:

Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin

Buy Good Girl Deprogramming

Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon -

Previous Episode

4. Unpacking Gender Conditioning with Don Ryan

Episode 4 - Unpacking Gender Conditioning with Don Ryan (Trigger Warning - Suicide)

Don has working in the social work for more than 30 years, both doing clinical work as a therapist with children who have experienced trauma and in welfare systems work working to reduce violence towards children, in domestic violence, and with people experiencing homelessness.

In his personal life, Don lost three family members to suicide beginning with his father while a college senior in 1989, his cousin Vinny in 2013, and his youngest brother Brendan in 2022. After a year of examining these three deaths and how they impacted his life and the lives of his other family members, Don wrote The Secret Struggle: Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One, to support others who felt alone in their feelings of guilt and grief in the aftermath of that suicide.

After addressing the behavioral and psychological effects of suicide on a loved one, Don focuses on the societal stigma of mental health and suicide, especially as those stigmas pertain to men - a demographic that comprises 80 percent of all completed suicides. His premise is that men are raised to be strong, to not cry, and not show weakness and that these child rearing techniques are reinforced in adulthood that men need to be stoic and problem solvers. Don gives presentations on the need for social change to lessen this stigma.

Ryan has earned two Masters degrees including a Masters in Social Work from the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, and currently lives in Minnesota in the United States.

What we talk about:

0:05 Meeting and Introduction

Michelle welcomes Don, who shares his background and their connection through improving speaking and presenting skills.

3:45 Don's Book and Personal Experience

Don introduces his book, “The Secret Struggle Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One,” blending professional expertise with personal experiences of losing three family members to suicide. He discusses the emotional impact and societal pressures on men to suppress emotions, contributing to higher male suicide rates.

6:09 Challenges and Societal Expectations

Michelle and Don explore how societal conditioning of boys and men to suppress emotions affects mental health and relationships. Don’s work in violence prevention and victim services highlights the need for men to be involved in addressing these issues.

11:58 Gender Roles and Social Expectations

They delve into how traditional gender roles perpetuate toxic masculinity, impacting everyone. They stress the importance of breaking the cycle of harmful conditioning and creating a better future.

13:53 Impact of Social Media and Historical Conditioning

The discussion shifts to using social media to spread messages of change and the need for collective efforts. Don praises Michelle’s book for its inclusive approach and discusses suicide prevention, especially in the military.

23:09 Political and Social Implications

They discuss the influence of political figures like Donald Trump on societal attitudes and stress the importance of empathy and understanding for creating positive change.

28:05 Call to Action and Final Thoughts

Don encourages listeners to consider the future they want for their children and take proactive steps to create a better world.

Nike Advert - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWfX5jeF6k4

Follow Don on social media:

Website - https://www.thesecretstruggle.com/

The Secret Struggle - https://amzn.to/4eI67mh

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/don-ryan-853a8447/

Instagram -

Next Episode

6. Embracing Your Authentic Self with Dayna Byfield

Episode 6 - Embracing Your Authentic Self with Dayna Byfield

Leadership Coach, Relationship Curator, Speaker, Polymath & Founder.

Dayna's dynamic approach to empowering Leaders and teams comes from a unique deep blend of human; biology, behaviour & beliefs, intuition, dyslexic thinking and lived experience.

With her warm and infectious personality and playful communication style. As a luminary. Dayna is dedicated to uncovering the intricacies of the internal human world to strengthen our relationships with ourselves, each other and gain a greater sense of fulfilment and success. Whilst also sharing these concepts with leaders.

Having overcome significant challenges in her early life Dayna is now committed to sharing the lessons she’s learned. Inspiring others to transcend their circumstances and perceived limitations.

Her work as a Leadership coach and speaker is complimented by her innovative partnerships in various fields such a education, wellbeing and lifestyle design.

Dayna’s global network exemplifies her skill as a relationship curator, sparking influential partnerships, and projects of great impact.

As an experienced Founder, Non-Executive Director and business leader. Dayna has emerged as an experienced organisational and team conflict strategist.

Her insights are sought after by media outlets, top business’ and brands for her perspectives on personal evolution, relationships, human wiring, team dynamics, leadership and lifestyle design.

Her message continues to resonate in the business, wellbeing, scientific and impact communities globally.

What we talk about:

2:08 - Dayna’s Background and Early Life

Dayna introduces herself and shares her tumultuous early years, which shaped her ability to connect with people.

6:54 - Current Endeavours and Education

Dayna talks about her life in London after spending three years in St. Vincent and discusses pursuing a double award master’s degree in interdisciplinary studies.

7:49 - Significant Relationships

They discuss the importance of three key relationships: self, work, and spouse, and emphasise that aligning these relationships is crucial for a balanced life.

11:03 - Understanding and Valuing Yourself

Dayna highlights the importance of self-awareness and understanding how societal and familial influences shape one’s identity.

14:42 - The Role of Green Energy in Leadership

Dayna explains the concept of "green energy," which focuses on nurturing others and prioritising the collective over individual needs. Green energy individuals may struggle in societies that value individualism, and Dayna advocates for recognising and empowering these leaders to build strong relationships and communities.

29:34 - The Importance of Blue Energy in Systems and Processes

Dayna discusses "blue energy" individuals, who are logical, analytical, and focused on systems and processes, and explains how they ensure high quality and attention to detail.

34:42 - Connecting Early Years to Current Identity

Dayna encourages listeners to reflect on their first seven years to understand how those experiences shape who they are today. 36:49 - Final Thoughts and Future Conversations

Follow Dayna on social media:

Linkedin - http://linkedin.com/in/dayna-byfield

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/daynabyfield

The Colour of Personality Infographic - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kLrmET3bznbvUXNAzFv-y9zvissqGLox/view?usp=sharing

Follow Michelle on social media:

Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin

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