The Friendship Wearied by Low Self-Esteem and Fear of Rejection (J’Leen)
06/11/24 • 56 min
After a girls’ weekend, Shasta returned home feeling drained—her friend J’Leen seemed to often take things personally and question how accepted she was in the group. Again, they’d spent much of their time together reassuring her to no avail. Today, Shasta and J’Leen explore how J’Leen’s fears of rejection and abandonment developed, how her attempts to shield herself from potential rejection led to actual rejection, and what triggered her fears. They also consider how it feels to be on the other side, trying to love someone who cannot see or feel it. Finally, they reveal how J’Leen learned to become her own best friend, and how her journey of personal growth and self-awareness transformed her life and relationships.In this episode, Shasta and J’Leen answer the questions:
- How can a fear of rejection and/or fear of abandonment develop?
- How does it feel to be a friend to someone with a fear of rejection / fear of abandonment?
- How can self-love transform our relationships?
- What can trigger a fear of rejection and/or fear of abandonment?
- What can you do to support a friend struggling from fear of rejection / fear of abandonment?
- Why does a fear of rejection sometimes lead to actual rejection?
Resource Links:
- Christine Arylo’s book on self-love: Madly in Love With Me
- Take the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability Quiz
- Learn more about the Frientimacy Triangle in Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
- More of Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:
Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.
Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:
After a girls’ weekend, Shasta returned home feeling drained—her friend J’Leen seemed to often take things personally and question how accepted she was in the group. Again, they’d spent much of their time together reassuring her to no avail. Today, Shasta and J’Leen explore how J’Leen’s fears of rejection and abandonment developed, how her attempts to shield herself from potential rejection led to actual rejection, and what triggered her fears. They also consider how it feels to be on the other side, trying to love someone who cannot see or feel it. Finally, they reveal how J’Leen learned to become her own best friend, and how her journey of personal growth and self-awareness transformed her life and relationships.In this episode, Shasta and J’Leen answer the questions:
- How can a fear of rejection and/or fear of abandonment develop?
- How does it feel to be a friend to someone with a fear of rejection / fear of abandonment?
- How can self-love transform our relationships?
- What can trigger a fear of rejection and/or fear of abandonment?
- What can you do to support a friend struggling from fear of rejection / fear of abandonment?
- Why does a fear of rejection sometimes lead to actual rejection?
Resource Links:
- Christine Arylo’s book on self-love: Madly in Love With Me
- Take the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability Quiz
- Learn more about the Frientimacy Triangle in Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
- More of Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:
Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.
Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:
Previous Episode
What We Can Do When Our Friendships Don’t Feel Healthy
In today’s episode, Shasta reflects on what we can learn from our physical health to develop better social health, and how we can heal from heartbreak and disappointment to create more meaningful friendships. Conflict in a relationship can be uncomfortable, awkward, and—at times—painful. But it’s when we persist through the discomfort that we start building stronger, deeper, and more meaningful relationships.
In this episode, Shasta answers the questions:
- What can physical health teach us about developing healthier relationships?
- How do we change a friendship or relationship that’s no longer working?
- How can we heal from heartbreak or disappointment to create more meaningful friendships?
Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.
Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:
- Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
- Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
- The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time
Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:
Next Episode
I’m the Friend Who Was Ghosted
So you got dumped by a friend—no warning, no explanation, not even a text back. What happened? Nearly 80% of us have been ghosted at some point, and while it’s more commonplace in the dating world, it can happen with friends too. In this episode, Shasta interviews three women who were ghosted by close friends. They open up about what they wish their friends had done instead, and how ghosting impacted them and their other relationships (for better or for worse). They also offer insight and advice on getting closure and fighting for the friendship.
Resource Links:
- Watch the “Surviving a Friendship Breakup” series
- Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:
Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!
Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.
Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:
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