Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes - Simple Ways For Improving Social Wellness in the New Year (+ a Sneak Peek of My Book)

Simple Ways For Improving Social Wellness in the New Year (+ a Sneak Peek of My Book)

01/05/23 • 40 min

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Full disclosure: I am a “set-your-goals” kind of person.
I used to get a little out of control with goal setting each year, thinking everything was going to be different overnight. But of course, real life isn’t like that!
In this episode, I want to talk about friendship communities and how to improve them in small, sustainable ways this year. What are the ways we can check in with ourselves? What are the factors – actions, habits, everyday changes – we can alter to improve our relationships in 2023?
You’ll also get a sneak peek of my new book (well ... an abbreviated version, anyway!) and I hope that once you employ the advice in this episode, you feel like you’re on your way to impact change in your life and become the person you want to be.
Thank you so much for being here on this adventure with me. I’m really excited about 2023 and all that’s ahead of us. In this episode you’ll hear about:

Using a “word of the year” to set goals and create a friendship vision for the new year
Three check-ins to find those small, everyday habits that will get you closer to your new year vision
Focusing in on time, including habits and boundaries; what can you add/trade/cut?
Different ways you can show up for friends this year (running errands, answering questions, making introductions, cooking, etc.)
How to cut out the “admin time” in terms of get-togethers and be more present
Simplifying and auditing communication so it actually works for you and your people

Using a “word of the year” to set goals and create a friendship vision for the new year
Three check-ins to find those small, everyday habits that will get you closer to your new year vision
Focusing in on time, including habits and boundaries; what can you add/trade/cut?
Different ways you can show up for friends this year (running errands, answering questions, making introductions, cooking, etc.)
How to cut out the “admin time” in terms of get-togethers and be more present
Simplifying and auditing communication so it actually works for you and your people

Previous Episode

Five Ways to Connect with Friends During the Holiday Season

I used to be a bit of a Grinch around the holidays. My family of origin story is not the best – and in fact, this season used to give me panic attacks.
Luckily, I’m well past those days, and part of the reason is I began spending the holidays with friends! For a long time, I tried to be subtle about my lack of holiday plans, casually asking friends what they were doing, seeing if they’d invite me.
But once I was finally HONEST about my situation – saying something along the lines of, “I don’t want to go home for the holidays. Can I go with you instead?” – it completely changed the holidays for me.
This is typically a family-forward season, which is great, but you probably have other people in your life who you’d like to make memories with during the holidays. So, for today’s episode, I’ve compiled a list of tips for how to make time with friends this time of year.In this episode you’ll hear about:

Five ways to connect with your friends this holiday season
Ways to “opt out” of the things you’re not interested in or would feel burdened by
How traditions can actually save time and help you feel like you belong
Three different formats to create a tradition (pick it all, pick a date, create a series)
Doing “the necessary” to-do list items with friends (for example, holiday shopping, wrapping presents) instead of going at it alone
How to make sure you or your friends have a place to go for the holidays

Resources & Links
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

Next Episode

How to Make Friends as a Grown-Up

Today’s episode is about how to make friends – namely, the REALITY we find ourselves in when seeking friendship as grown-ups. How we do it now is going to be different from how we did it as children, teenagers, and young adults – but in a GOOD way.
A friend recently said to me, “The way you talk about making friends sounds kind of like dating.” And, well, that’s because it kind of is.
But it doesn’t need to be that way. There’s value in even our simplest connections, so let’s get rid of that pressure and just enjoy meeting new people, trying new things, and connecting in new ways.
In this episode you’ll hear about:

The amount of pressure we put on romantic partners vs. friendships – and why, when making friends in real life, it’s better to expect less
How friendship in media (movies, social media, books, TV) is curated to create drama or dream situations – this is often not real life!
The realities behind the “pick-up-where-we-left-off friends” and the “friends that will always be there for us”
How making friends and maintaining friendships requires staying curious, taking small risks, paying attention, showing up, and using our time, energy, and resources
Spending time thinking about the kinds of new friends you want to make – i.e., what do you want to do with your friends? What do you want to connect over?
How to get unstuck with “defined friends” by letting them into other parts of our lives and creating new shared experience routes

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes - Simple Ways For Improving Social Wellness in the New Year (+ a Sneak Peek of My Book)

Transcript

Podcast Intro00:00:02.339

All right, gang. Here's to nights that turn into mornings and friends that turn in family. Cheers. Happy Birthday to you!

Podcast Intro00:00:18.030

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Friendship IRL podcast. I'm your host, Alex Alexander. My friends, they would tell you I like to ask the hard questions. You know who I am in the group? I'm the person that's saying, "Okay, I'm going to ask this question, but don't f