FRIED. The Burnout Podcast

Nneka Roberts, operations consultant at Sage Simple Solutions, has worked designing systems for 20 years. She now works with consulting clients teaching them how to implement systems to improve their businesses and lives. She shares her tips for using systems to help avoid burnout. Tune into this episode to learn more.

“I think what ends up happening is that we get on the marketing, sales delivery rollercoaster, and we forget to build in support, which is a key component of your business,” explains Nneka Roberts, operations consultant at Sage Simple Solutions. Nneka’s burnout came a few years into starting her life coaching practice. She loved her career, her clients and the freedom she had, but she did not enjoy the business aspect of running the practice.

Nneka waited too long to build systems into her business and ended up burning out. She learned afterward that systems are not only necessary, but they are a form of self care. Not having support systems in place caused Nneka to get stuck doing the parts of her job that weren’t helping her grow as a coach. These tasks sucked up not only her time, but also a lot of the joy she had for her career. By investing in systems you can avoid burnout and help yourself and your business thrive for years to come.

Tune into today’s episode of FRIED. The Burnout Podcast for a conversation with Nneka Roberts about the importance of implementing systems regardless of if you are a solopreneur or are in charge of a team. Learn how to get started recording your daily processes to create your own systems and how to utilize tools as part of your systems.

Quotes

• “The first few years it was like a dream come true. I had the freedom that I wanted to have. I was doing great work. I loved my clients. I was very passionate. But what started happening and I think every entrepreneur kind of goes through this, while I love the act of coaching like I enjoy coaching a lot. I did not enjoy the business thing of coaching, like finding clients and having sales goals and that sort of stuff.” (3:52-4:25)

• “I think what ends up happening is that we get on the marketing, sales delivery rollercoaster, and we forget to build in support, which is a key component of your business.” (9:10-9:23)

• “Yes, the time is one thing, the hours, minutes or seconds, you get that back for sure. But it's the mental space that it's taking up in your brain that's chomping at your capacity to create as a coach or as a creative. It's like you are focused on these little things that really don't matter. It doesn't help your creative mind. It is taking away from your creativity, as opposed to nourishing it and building it and multiplying it.” (12:10-12:39)

• “Systems are those lived rituals that you've had for doing things in your business. But they are in a form that can be shared with a team, or implemented in a tool.” (16:26-16:39)

• “Your work is needed. That's what I want to share with people, your work is needed. Your work is needed for your people today, it's even needed for you for today. It's needed for your people today. And it's gonna be needed in generations to come. So you want to build your business so that it's available for generations to come.” (40:57-41:18)

• “I would say that systems are self care. They are the fourth prong in your business, they call it they help you help to support you. And make the time, take the time to invest in them.” (50:18-50:33)

Links

https://sagesimplesolutions.com/

https://www.instagram.com/sagesimplesolutions/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/nnekakelly/

bit.ly/ssswhotohire

XOXO,

C

If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait

Check out the FRIED Burnout quiz: https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz

Register for the May 2022 FRIED Masterclass: https://www.caitdonovan.com/offers/fSKNzXzh

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

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1. Hey Fried Fans! Last week, you found out that together with MINDALT, Luminary, Caveday, Kristina Libby, Sochill, and Spiritune, I have a super fun project for the month of April called The World’s Most Mindful Office. It’s the idea baby of Christina Vuleta, the co-founder of MINDALT and I’m so excited to be a part of it. In case you missed it, here are the basics. Luminary is my favorite co-working space in NYC and also happens to be around the corner from my acupuncture office, so it’s really convenient for those days that I have pauses between patients AND super convenient for a mid day acupuncture nap for you when you're working your day away in Luminary's beautiful space. Luminary also has a ton of online programming for their members (and for this last week of Women’s History Month - their online programming is FREE for ALL.. so hop on that this week!) that connects me with the most amazing women. Now, Christina and I are building the World’s Most Mindful Office, within Luminary’s walls. The private office will be covered in incredible floral art by Kristina Libby, supplied with a Mindful Plan for the day created by Christina Vuleta following the main principles of MINDALT, supported by Caveday with a focused work session, and enhanced by moi with short simple exercises designed to bring in more calm and more energy easily when you need it. The World’s Most Mindful Office will be available to rent by the day - Luminary members can rent it for just $20, and non members just $40 - So, $20 or $40 bucks will get you the best workcation you never knew you needed (before the pandemic anyway.. You all know you need it now :)). All of this is super exciting, but it begs the question - why am I a part of this? What does mindfulness have to do with burnout? I don’t use the word mindfulness often on FRIED episodes but it is interwoven into nearly every suggestion I’ve ever given. I find that sometimes, when you’re burnt out and the typical advice that’s touted hasn’t helped you, hearing words that follow the common advice makes you just glaze right over it. BUT! Mindfulness is a huge part of burnout recovery and the why is in the science. To keep it super simple, Mindfulness keeps your MIND FULL. We’ve talked neuroscience quite a bit on FRIED (if you missed the episode with Shonte Javon Taylor - go back and find it, it’s amazing!) and because we talk about it so much, I hope that you remember that there are a couple of brain changes that happen with the type of long term chronic stress that we associate with burnout. Mainly, the part of your brain that is responsible for filtering emotions, giving you motivation, connecting with others, and being your center of logic shrinks - you actually lose nerve cells in this part of your brain when you’re under long term, unprocessed, chronic stress - the same kind that leads you to being totally fried and crispy. Another thing that happens is the amygdala (the part of your brain that’s still all instinct based) is enlarged making you over interpret threats from your environment. Mindfulness practices have been shown to regrow (fill up) the part of your brain that is damaged by long term stress and also regulate the amygdala so that it’s not on high alert all the time. And then there’s the heart. We haven’t spent a lot of time on the heart on FRIED but I do mention Heart Rate Variability in The Bouncebackability

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“I’m in recovery from recovery,” explains Colleen Kachmann, Certified Master Life and Recovery Coach who joins the podcast to share her story of dealing with alcohol and burnout, and give new insight into the current understanding of and attitude toward addiction. For years, while playing the role of perfect mother, wife, career woman and volunteer, Colleen was also a self-described heavy day drinker. After joining Alcoholics Anonymous she found herself “indoctrinated” into believing that she was powerless over alcohol. An incident at a family dinner led to the realization that actually, we are all in control of ourselves and our lives. Through self-directed neuroplasticity and nervous system regulation, we can change the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. She has since founded “Recover with Colleen” where she teaches women who are “lost in the weeds” with alcohol to pursue mental health, happiness and a connection with their power and purpose rather than sobriety.

On today’s episode of FRIED, she’ll describe what she calls “emotional sobriety.” She’ll explain how to develop a growth mindset, break out of victim mentality and learn to stop leading with “I can’t.” She’ll reveal what we’re really afraid of when we start to think of the worst-case scenario in the face of making change and what happens when we deal with “what is” instead of “what if.”

It’s not about the alcohol, Colleen explains. Join today’s discussion to take the first step toward standing in your power.

Quotes

• “I raised my children, I taught hot yoga, I taught aerobics, I was a health coach, I was all the things—I volunteered, I worked, I was a good ex-wife and a good new wife and all the things to all the people. So, you can see burnout coming there because I was very perfectionistic about my life. And I had this idea that I was getting away with my drinking.” (4:36 | Colleen Kachmann)
• “I became a perfect sober person. I was still playing the alcohol game. My life revolved around the topic of alcohol, but I had to switch teams. Now I’m team sober.” (7:09 | Colleen Kachmann)
• “I believe that when we realize that everything we do is actually a choice, now we can choose from a place of power.” (16:57 | Colleen Kachmann)
• “We don’t have to make our kids [lives] better. I think the truth underneath that story is we’ve lost ourselves in our kids, it’s been easier to just do the things for everybody else because we can hold our breath longer, and, ‘Oh, look, here’s a bottle of wine. So, I’ll just exchange my needs for some drink tickets, and shut the hell up. I can do that, just give me another drink.’” (28:08 | Colleen Kachmann)
• “We think we’re scared of having to live in an apartment after we get the divorce from the big house, or that we can’t do things. But actually you’re afraid of the story you’re going to tell yourself, that you’re starting over, that you failed, that you just lost your whole life or everything was meaningless behind you and you’ve wasted your time. It’s those stories that we’re afraid of.” (31:08 | Colleen Kachmann)

Links

Connect with Colleen Kachmann:

https://recoverwithcolleen.com/

https://www.instagram.com/recoverwithcolleen/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/colleenkachmann/ https://recoverwithcolleen.com/accelerated-recovery-masterclass/6

Connect with Cait:

Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait

Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Shame is driving the bus of our lives,” says life coach, keynote speaker, author and “hell-raiser” Andrea Owen, who joins the FRIED podcast. In this episode, Andrea shares a four-step process toward building shame resilience, which she learned while studying under author and professor Brene Brown. Many of the behaviors that we engage in–perfectionism, people pleasing, control– are what Brene Brown calls “the armor”. These tactics are means of avoiding shame.

One initial helpful step to building resilience is to become aware of how our shame manifests. Another major step toward building shame resilience is reaching out to others whom you can trust and who have earned the right to hear your story.

Andrea and Cait have advice for those who feel they have no one to whom they can reach out. For those who have always been the “shower-upper” in the relationship, they get into the specifics of how to set the groundwork to allow people to show up for you.

There is no escaping the feeling of shame. It is a human emotion, like joy or sadness. We all experience it and pretty regularly. Instead, we can build resilience to it, and talking about it, as we are on this episode of FRIED, is also a major part of building that resilience.

Quotes

• “Shame likes to hide. Shame is a solo-preneur It likes to be behind the scenes. It’s like a ghostwriter, almost. It doesn’t like to be named.” (12:04 | Caitlin Donovan and Andrea Owen)
• “Largely, shame is an unconscious feeling and experience that we have because when it is that way, it’s able to do its job better. Its job is to keep us small; its job is to keep us from connecting with other humans; its job is to keep us in line.” (20:23 | Andrea Owen)
• “That was sort of the eye-opener for me in my training of, ‘Oh, all of these behaviors that the women in my audience engage with—me, too, by the way— we’re doing that in an effort to avoid shame. Therefore, shame is driving the bus of our lives.” (22:53 | Andrea Owen)
• “Get very, very familiar, get in bed with those [physical] symptoms so you know when it is happening. One of the goals is that you know when you’re in it, you can become resilient to it.” (31:24 | Andrea Owen)
• “Like we can talk about joy, like we can talk about gratitude, shame is just another human emotion and experience.” (45:37 | Andrea Owen)

Links

https://www.friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/post/dr-kristin-neff-self-compassion-being-human-and-living-with-an-open-heart

Connect with Andrea Owen:

Website: https://andreaowen.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyandreaowen/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heyandreaowen/

Book: https://andreaowen.com/free

Connect with Cait:

https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com

https://caitdonovan.com

Book an Initial Session with Cait: bit.ly/callcait

Book a free 1:1 call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv

Get info on FRIED's group program for burnout recovery: https://caitdonovan.com/unfried

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Do you ever feel like you have to hide something about yourself from the world? In this episode, you will hear an honest and heartfelt conversation with Ruth Rathblott, a speaker, coach, and author of the book Singlehandedly: Learning to Unhide and Embrace Connection. Ruth shares her story of living with a limb difference and how she used it as a tool to start conversations and create safe spaces for others to share their stories. She also reveals the secrets of unhiding, which is the process of releasing shame, overcoming fear, and embracing your true self, without worrying about what others think.

Episode Highlights:

Ruth Rathblott opens up about the common phenomenon of hiding, which affects many people who feel like they are the only ones who have a visible or invisible difference, such as a disability, a mental health issue, a family background, or a personal struggle. She explains how hiding can make us feel isolated, exhausted, and limited, and how unhiding can help us live more authentically and confidently.

Ruth shares some practical tips and exercises to help you unhide in your own life and create more meaningful connections with others. She emphasizes the importance of being the first to go first, which means sharing something about yourself that you are hiding or uncomfortable with, in order to create a safe space for others to do the same.

This episode is a powerful reminder that you are not alone in your hiding journey. You have the power to unhide and live your truth. Listen to this episode now and start your own unhiding journey today. You will be amazed by the freedom and joy that comes from being yourself and connecting with others who accept you as you are!

Connect with Ruth Rathblott:

https://ruthrathblott.com/

https://www.instagram.com/ruthrath/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ruth-rathblott/

https://twitter.com/ruthrath

https://www.amazon.com/Singlehandedly-Learning-Unhide-Embrace-Connection-ebook/dp/B0B95TSJBS

Connect with Cait:

https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com

https://caitdonovan.com

Book a free 1:1 call: bit.ly/callcait

Book a free 1:1 call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv

Get info on FRIED's group program for burnout recovery: https://caitdonovan.com/unfried