Using Art to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse [176]

06/21/22 • 37 min

“This was the big whammy... My whole life had been centered around pleasing the abusive person...trying to meet their ever-changing expectations...I really didn’t know who I was anymore.”

Art therapist Jennifer Kramer practices what she paints. She’s a survivor of narcissistic abuse and now teaches an art therapy process she developed during her recovery.

She discovered that the most powerful part of art-making isn’t what we create — the final drawing or painting. It’s not about making something that looks pretty or gets displayed in an art gallery. It’s about the way art reconnects our minds and bodies and how it rebuilds an abuse survivor’s sense of identity.

Because the real masterpiece...is YOU.

Put on your listening ears and grab a crayon:

What art therapy is (and isn’t)
The emotions of art media (pencils can be comforting and paint can be overwhelming)
Art-making and responsive writing: the left- and right-brain connection
Why talking to your art is helpful (even if it feels weird)
How art puts you back inside your body and rebuilds your intuition
What the “no-comment rule,” “process over product,” and “scribble drawings” are
Art therapy techniques to try at home (with nobody looking!)

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

You’re gonna want to follow Jennifer’s Instagram account. It’s the reason I interviewed her.
Redefine yourself and color your life, with art! Download Jennifer’s app, Redefined, to get more info on her core program, weekly emails, video bundles, and group or 1-on-1 coaching.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

Jennifer Kramer is an artist, licensed art therapist, and online coach who helps women overcome the lasting effects of narcissistic abuse. She is the creator of The Redefined Process, an approach that uses a combination of spontaneous art-making and responsive writing, which she developed while recovering from narcissistic abuse. The Redefined Process works because it engages our bodies and minds in such a way that subconscious emotions, limiting beliefs, and desires are brought to the surface and (quite literally) made visible.

“This was the big whammy... My whole life had been centered around pleasing the abusive person...trying to meet their ever-changing expectations...I really didn’t know who I was anymore.”

Art therapist Jennifer Kramer practices what she paints. She’s a survivor of narcissistic abuse and now teaches an art therapy process she developed during her recovery.

Because the real masterpiece...is YOU.

Put on your listening ears and grab a crayon:

What art therapy is (and isn’t)
The emotions of art media (pencils can be comforting and paint can be overwhelming)
Art-making and responsive writing: the left- and right-brain connection
Why talking to your art is helpful (even if it feels weird)
How art puts you back inside your body and rebuilds your intuition
What the “no-comment rule,” “process over product,” and “scribble drawings” are
Art therapy techniques to try at home (with nobody looking!)

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

You’re gonna want to follow Jennifer’s Instagram account. It’s the reason I interviewed her.
Redefine yourself and color your life, with art! Download Jennifer’s app, Redefined, to get more info on her core program, weekly emails, video bundles, and group or 1-on-1 coaching.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

Previous Episode

I Don’t Want to Look Like a Bad Christian if I Leave My Abusive Marriage [175]

Abusers who leave a relationship are as rare as steak tartare.

In fact, waiting for an abuser to leave is similar to waiting for them to change.

Or asking for a hippopotamus for Christmas. Riding a unicorn. Losing weight on a cake-only diet.

Not likely.

If abusers are so unhappy with their victims, why don’t they leave first? Because staying fits within the point of abuse: to control you. And unless he’s discovered an excellent and easy alternative, you’re an endless supply for your emotional abuser’s selfishness.

On top of that, if you’re a Christian woman, he knows you take your vows seriously. He’s counting on you to stick it out, no matter what. He’s got “God” on his side.

Finally, when he mistreats you, like any sane person or hurt puppy, you react, and it ain’t pretty. You’re so ashamed of your behavior. He knows it. So instead of focusing on the harm he’s doing, you’re consumed by what a failure—a raging, bitter wretch of a person—you feel like. And you wonder: Am I the abuser?

You’re stuck between a boulder (an impossible, destructive marriage) and a hard place (your paralyzing beliefs).

What now?

This episode is full of answers:

Where I got $1.75 (and you can too!)
Why your choice to stay or leave your abuser is less important than your reasons
My relation to a judgy jerk (she looks like me, she sounds like me, but I swear, she isn’t me...anymore) and the hope that should give you
An abuser’s approach to counseling and change versus a survivor’s (one involves kicking and screaming)
Two analogies to solve your shame and restore your power steering: dogs fighting and a locked car in a parking lot.

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

Next Episode

How You and Your Faith Community Got Hoodwinked by an Abuser [177]

Do you wonder how he did it?

How your abuser tricked you and blindfolded your church? How he just keeps coming out on top, despite all the evidence pointing to what a sick, twisted, evil person he is?

Abuse doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It always involves the community. In this case: the church.

Wade Mullen staked his Ph.D. on the study of the hidden tactics of abuse, especially spiritual abuse within religious communities.

What he found were patterns of behavior. The slow and steady set-up for abuse to become a system, a system to become a theology, and a theology to become god.

Imagine with me: A relationship within a community where all the red flags (manipulation, lying, criticism) are called green flags and all the green flags (truth-telling, boundaries, self-respect) are called red flags.

It’s the heist of the century. And it’s working all too well.

Don’t miss out on this killer explanation:

Why abuse always involves theft
Why abuse always involves murder
Why emotional abuse is just as bad or worse than other types of abuse
The types of evil language abusers always use
The four types of nice things abusers do (and why “kindness” from an abuser is always a WARNING SIGN)
The reason laughter is a RED FLAG in an abusive relationship
6 things women need when they’re coming out of emotional and spiritual abuse (and a great place to get ALL of them)