Overcoming People-Pleasing and Setting Boundaries with Amy Green Smith

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09/23/24 • 62 min

Feminist Founders: Building Profitable People-First Businesses

In this episode of Feminist Founders, Becky Mollenkamp sits down with personal empowerment coach Amy Green Smith to discuss the pervasive issues of people-pleasing, fear, and assertive communication in both business and personal life. Amy, an expert in emotional intelligence and leadership, breaks down the difference between feeling "not enough" and believing it, and how this impacts our boundaries and vulnerability in the workplace. Together, they tackle the critical conversation about how women, especially those with marginalized identities, can break free from the trauma response of people-pleasing and reclaim their voice.

Amy shares valuable insights into overcoming fear and stepping into assertive communication without crossing the line into aggression. This empowering conversation is full of practical advice for anyone struggling with boundaries in professional relationships, self-worth, and the ever-present challenges of balancing vulnerability and strength in the workplace.

Amy Green Smith (she/her) is a certified and credentialed life coach and hypnotherapist, masterful speaker, and personal empowerment expert. Amy uses her roles as coach, writer, podcaster, and speaker to move individuals to a place of radical personal empowerment and self-worth. With acute focus on helping people “find their voice”, she is highly sought after for her uncommon style of irreverence, wisdom, and humor and has been a featured expert in Inspired Coach Magazine and on Fox 5 San Diego.

Website | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn

Discussed in this episode:

Self-Worth and Language: Understanding the difference between feeling "not enough" and believing it, and how language shapes our perception of self-worth.
People-Pleasing and Boundaries: Practical strategies for stopping people-pleasing and setting healthy boundaries in both personal and professional environments.
Overcoming Fear: Embracing a "fear-optimized" mindset, allowing fear to coexist with action rather than waiting for the fear to disappear.
Assertive Communication vs. Aggression: How to communicate assertively without being aggressive, and why vulnerability is a powerful tool in the workplace.
People-Pleasing as a Trauma Response: Exploring the roots of people-pleasing as a trauma response, especially in marginalized identities, and how it often stems from self-preservation.
Social Media and Mental Health: Discussing the impact of social media on mental health, particularly in contributing to feelings of inadequacy and "not enoughness."
Emotional Intelligence and Leadership: Cultivating emotional intelligence and leadership skills as a feminist entrepreneur to lead with empathy, assertiveness, and authenticity.

Resources mentioned:

We hope you'll check out Good Grief with Nikki the Death Doula and subscribe. We're both proud members of the Feminist Podcasters Collective.

Website | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn

Discussed in this episode:

Self-Worth and Language: Understanding the difference between feeling "not enough" and believing it, and how language shapes our perception of self-worth.
People-Pleasing and Boundaries: Practical strategies for stopping people-pleasing and setting healthy boundaries in both personal and professional environments.
Overcoming Fear: Embracing a "fear-optimized" mindset, allowing fear to coexist with action rather than waiting for the fear to disappear.
Assertive Communication vs. Aggression: How to communicate assertively without being aggressive, and why vulnerability is a powerful tool in the workplace.
People-Pleasing as a Trauma Response: Exploring the roots of people-pleasing as a trauma response, especially in marginalized identities, and how it often stems from self-preservation.
Social Media and Mental Health: Discussing the impact of social media on mental health, particularly in contributing to feelings of inadequacy and "not enoughness."
Emotional Intelligence and Leadership: Cultivating emotional intelligence and leadership skills as a feminist entrepreneur to lead with empathy, assertiveness, and authenticity.

Resources mentioned:

We hope you'll check out Good Grief with Nikki the Death Doula and subscribe. We're both proud members of the Feminist Podcasters Collective.

Previous Episode

Feminism and Womanism: Taina Brown's Intersectional Approach to Liberation

NOTE: Feminist Founders is a listener-funded podcast. Your contributions enable us to continue bringing you these important conversations. To support the mission and to receive bonus content from this episode, sign up for a subscription: https://feministfounders.substack.com/

Feminist coach Taina Brown joins Becky Mollenkamp to share her journey into intersectional feminism, how her experiences as a Black woman shaped her feminist identity, and the distinctions between feminism and womanism. The conversation delves deep into the challenges faced by women of color in the workplace, particularly the impact of microaggressions and the compounded effects of systemic oppression. Taina also offers insightful solutions for combating imposter syndrome, emphasizing the importance of rest as a form of resistance and the need to dismantle capitalist structures in our pursuit of liberation.

Taina Brown (she/hers) is an elder millennial, Jeopardy enthusiast, and dog mom to doggy influencers. She is a life and career coach for busy and burned out millennials and a DEI educator and facilitator. In her spare time and with the help of her community, she's building a world where people don't feel the need to live busy and burned out lives, laugh in the face of imposter syndrome, and generally stick it to the man. You can find her ranting (sometimes) and raving (mostly) on Instagram and in her email newsletter to her community.

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Discussion in this episode:

Intersectional Feminism and Womanism: Taina discusses the roots of her feminist identity, the difference between feminism and womanism, and how Black women have historically been excluded from mainstream feminist movements.
Matriarchy vs. Patriarchy: A deep dive into the differences between matriarchal and patriarchal systems, and why simply replacing men at the top with women is not the solution to systemic oppression.
Anti-Capitalist Feminism: Exploring how capitalist structures perpetuate inequality and the importance of creating new systems that prioritize collaboration, rest, and collective care.
Microaggressions in the Workplace: Taina highlights the daily toll of microaggressions on women of color and the need to address these issues beyond just time management and productivity.
Imposter Syndrome Solutions: Taina reframes imposter syndrome as a natural response to operating within systems not designed for women of color, and shares strategies for reclaiming power and belonging.
The Power of Rest as Resistance: Drawing inspiration from the Nat Ministry and Tricia Hersey's work, Taina discusses how rest is a revolutionary act that defies capitalist demands for constant productivity.

Resources Mentioned:

Bonus Content: For more on Taina Brown's work and her perspective on LGBTQ+ identities within feminism, make sure to subscribe to Becky’s newsletter where exclusive bonus content is available. The link is in the show notes.

We hope you'll check out Good Grief with Nikki the Death Doula and subscribe. We're both proud members of the Feminist Podcasters Collective.

Next Episode

Why 'Imposter Syndrome' Is a Lie: Understanding the Trailblazer Complex with Tanya Geisler

In this episode, Becky Mollenkamp sits down with Tanya Geisler to explore the nuances of Imposter Complex, how it differs from Imposter Syndrome, and why understanding this distinction is crucial for anyone looking to overcome feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy. Tanya introduces the concept of the Trailblazer Complex, which shifts the narrative from self-blame to empowerment, particularly for those navigating spaces not traditionally built for them—such as women, people of color, and LGBTQ+ individuals. Together, they discuss how intersectional feminism coaching can provide valuable tools to confront perfectionism and imposter feelings, and the importance of claiming your space in leadership roles. This episode offers a refreshing, intersectional perspective on leadership, coaching, and personal development, making it a must-listen for feminist business owners, coaches, and anyone looking to thrive in a world that wasn’t designed with them in mind.

Tanya Geisler (she/her) is a certified Leadership Coach, in-demand international TEDxWomen speaker, and writer who teaches leaders how to combat their Imposter Complex and lead with ICONIC impact so they can achieve their ultimate goals. Her clients include best-selling authors, heads of industries, MPs, public speakers, leaders, movement makers, founders, entrepreneurs and legendary motivators.

Website| LinkedIn | Instagram

Discussed in this episode:

The differences between Imposter Complex and Imposter Syndrome and why the language we use matters
How Intersectional Feminism Coaching can help overcome self-doubt and perfectionism
The concept of Trailblazer Complex and how it reframes imposter syndrome for those leading in spaces that weren’t designed for them
The role of Imposter Syndrome in women, especially in leadership and business
Why Feminist Business Coaching is more than just productivity tips—it’s about reclaiming power in a patriarchal world
How perfectionism and the fear of being "found out" hold us back in business and life
The ongoing impact of white supremacy in coaching and personal development spaces
How to embrace imperfection and show up as your full self in leadership and business