
Ep. 34 The Great White Nothing and the Thread That Carries Through
12/07/22 • 24 min
The alchemy of inner transformation is not a self-improvement project. It’s a participation in the soul’s evolution. It may not improve your life at all at first. It’s a rather destructive process–dismantling your beliefs, identities, small hopes and dreams, tearing your life at each carefully stitched seam to reveal what’s unbreakable underneath. It gets worse before it gets worse sometimes, so faithless and consuming, leaving you hanging by nothing but a single thread–your own breath tethering you to life in a place it feels like you never intended to be. And at some point, you realize this is it...there’s nowhere else to go, nowhere to hide, nothing to save you from having to live what’s right here now. So you breathe the breath that is yours to breathe. You take the thread that is yours to weave, and without pretense, fanfare, or promise of any particular outcome you live the impossible–the dream that won’t stop dreaming, the breath that won’t stop breathing, the thread that won’t stop weaving you.
In this episode, we explore:
- The difference between self-improvement and transformation
- The difference between using your creative powers and resources to manifest things to make your life look good vs. using your creative powers to go through inner transformation
- Looking at the Dark Night of the Spirit from a new angle--The Great White Nothing
- The "log and fire" analogy to understand the difference between the Dark Night of the Soul and the Dark Night of the Spirit and why the Dark Night of the Spirit can be so challenging
- Three keys for living through The Great White Nothing/Dark Night of the Spirit
Reading of my piece "The Great White Nothing" put to music at 18:45
With love for and from the Nothingness,
McCall
- Read The Terrible, Beautiful Truth on Substack
- Stay connected through my Email List
- Get a copy of my NEW book Down from the Mountain directly from me
- Read or listen to my new book Down from the Mountain
- Read or Listen to my first book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy after Awakening
The alchemy of inner transformation is not a self-improvement project. It’s a participation in the soul’s evolution. It may not improve your life at all at first. It’s a rather destructive process–dismantling your beliefs, identities, small hopes and dreams, tearing your life at each carefully stitched seam to reveal what’s unbreakable underneath. It gets worse before it gets worse sometimes, so faithless and consuming, leaving you hanging by nothing but a single thread–your own breath tethering you to life in a place it feels like you never intended to be. And at some point, you realize this is it...there’s nowhere else to go, nowhere to hide, nothing to save you from having to live what’s right here now. So you breathe the breath that is yours to breathe. You take the thread that is yours to weave, and without pretense, fanfare, or promise of any particular outcome you live the impossible–the dream that won’t stop dreaming, the breath that won’t stop breathing, the thread that won’t stop weaving you.
In this episode, we explore:
- The difference between self-improvement and transformation
- The difference between using your creative powers and resources to manifest things to make your life look good vs. using your creative powers to go through inner transformation
- Looking at the Dark Night of the Spirit from a new angle--The Great White Nothing
- The "log and fire" analogy to understand the difference between the Dark Night of the Soul and the Dark Night of the Spirit and why the Dark Night of the Spirit can be so challenging
- Three keys for living through The Great White Nothing/Dark Night of the Spirit
Reading of my piece "The Great White Nothing" put to music at 18:45
With love for and from the Nothingness,
McCall
- Read The Terrible, Beautiful Truth on Substack
- Stay connected through my Email List
- Get a copy of my NEW book Down from the Mountain directly from me
- Read or listen to my new book Down from the Mountain
- Read or Listen to my first book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy after Awakening
Previous Episode

Ep. 33 Letting Your Best Hopes Go
"One of the hallmarks of maturity is to let some of what seemed like your best hopes go, especially if the tide of life is actually taking them from you and turning your face in another direction." -David Whyte, What to Remember When Waking, The Disciplines of Everyday LifeIn this episode, I explore:
- When hopes can be helpful and when they can get in the way
- Why following your heart might not be enough sometimes
- How to identify actual flow
- Learning to recognize the tides of life, the seasons that are ours to live
- The hopes and dreams of the ego vs. the wild will and dream of the soul
- What is the will of the soul?
- The alchemy that prepares us to partner with the unknown and the will of the soul
With love and gratitude for listening,
McCall
LINKS:
--> David Whyte's What to Remember When Waking
-->Click here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After Awakening
-->Click here for 20% off audiobook
-->Click here for episode transcripts
EPISODE QUOTES:
If you can withstand the disappointment of your ego, you can live the wild dream of your soul.
"Are you really going with the flow or are you pretending like you're going with the flow and secretly paddling underneath?" -my dear friend and Anam Cara
- Read The Terrible, Beautiful Truth on Substack
- Stay connected through my Email List
- Get a copy of my NEW book Down from the Mountain directly from me
- Read or listen to my new book Down from the Mountain
- Read or Listen to my first book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy after Awakening
Next Episode

Ep. 35 The Journey After the Journey
No amount of alchemical death and rebirth cycles can change who you are. It can only reveal it. And then the task becomes to live it, to anchor the unchangeable essence of Who You Are into your ever-changing human existence. Wildness and form. Dancing.
So far in this podcast, I’ve talked a lot about what I call the Second Half of the Mountain Journey–the dark nights of the soul, dark nights of the spirit, and distillation. These alchemical processes are necessary to carry us from initial awakening to permanent alignment with the core self.
But what happens when we reach the summit? What are the next alchemical phases and processes we go through once we have an abiding alignment with the unbreakable core within? What is life like then? What’s the reward for completing all seven stages of alchemy?
Exploring in this episode:
- What comes after going through the dark nights and distillation?
- What is the Philosopher’s Stone?
- The alchemical phase of Radiation and how to deal with its devoidness
- The ongoing conversation between ego and soul or the immediate and infinite self.
With love,
McCall
Related episodes:
Living From the Unbreakable Core That Is Uniquely Yours
Born From Nothing--Magical Will
- Read The Terrible, Beautiful Truth on Substack
- Stay connected through my Email List
- Get a copy of my NEW book Down from the Mountain directly from me
- Read or listen to my new book Down from the Mountain
- Read or Listen to my first book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy after Awakening
Falling Into Soul - Ep. 34 The Great White Nothing and the Thread That Carries Through
Transcript
The alchemy of inner transformation is not a self improvement project. It's a participation in the soul's evolution. It may not improve your life at all at first. It's a rather destructive process, dismantling your beliefs, identities, small hopes and dreams, tearing your life at each carefully stitched seam to reveal what's unbreakable underneath. It gets worse before it gets worse sometimes, so faithless and consuming, leaving you hanging by nothing but a single thread--your own breath,
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