Marriage Burnout vs the Motivation to Change: Episode 347

06/11/24 • 34 min

“How do I get my partner to _____?” This is one of the most common questions we get. Obviously this is referring to wanting a partner to change a behavior in a certain area of the relationship. Underneath that question is the real question of “what is going to motivate my partner?”

If you have ever had this experience of wanting your partner to change something, but they didn’t, you likely felt discouraged or even burnt out. This was likely because you have been asking for things to change for some time now, but nothing did.

In this episode you will hear about the process of motivation and being able to achieve a result you have been wanting to have in your relationship. You will get the 6 steps of the decision making process and how to overcome the motivation threshold so that you do not feel that same burnout or discouragement from not seeing a change happen. In the end you will realize there was something even better for you than the goal you initially set out to achieve!

Relationship Resources:

1) For use in your "Evaluation Step" from the episode, here is the link to the Family Meeting Guide - https://thecouplesexperience.com/family

2) Start the level 1 Prioritizing Us 30-Day Couples Challenge and get the Family Meeting guide as a free bonus. - https://mycoupleschallenge.com/

3) Start the level 2 Rebuiulding Us Couples Challenge - https://mycoupleschallenge.com/rebuilding

Relationship Resources:

1) For use in your "Evaluation Step" from the episode, here is the link to the Family Meeting Guide - https://thecouplesexperience.com/family

2) Start the level 1 Prioritizing Us 30-Day Couples Challenge and get the Family Meeting guide as a free bonus. - https://mycoupleschallenge.com/

3) Start the level 2 Rebuiulding Us Couples Challenge - https://mycoupleschallenge.com/rebuilding

Previous Episode

Be RESPONSIBLE For Your REACTIONS With These 3 Strategies: Episode 346

We said to several couples last week: “The ultimate sign of a secure marriage is knowing that even if one of you says something at the wrong time, in the wrong way, or with the wrong tone, the other person will be responsible for their reaction.”

And this is the ultimate goal for so many couples.

So dive in today as we cover:

The 4 D’s that derail conversations and destroy your connection
3 strategies for being responsible for your reactions
Further understanding of the brain so you don’t act from 2 of them in unproductive ways.

As you listen, get 2 of our popular guides:

De-escalating Conflicts & Regulating Emotions HERE

Making Up & Moving Forward (repair steps after conflicts) HERE

Next Episode

Why Some Partners Struggle to APOLOGIZE and How to Get Better: Episode 348

“I’m sorry” - 2 little words that can not only be challenging for some partners to say, but also can mean MANY different things.

So in today’s episode we cover:

Several specific reasons apologizing can be harder for some (self-awareness)
Why couples can battle over whether the ‘I’m sorry’ is deemed “necessary”
The different meanings of “I’m sorry” and how to expand your language for more things to say in these moments
How to get better at apologizing, big or small

We encourage BOTH of you to listen to this episode and talk about how you can both be better. Because these little moments truly can strengthen your bond or erode your ability to respect each other. We know, strong statement, but respect is tied to this.

As you listen, make sure you get our popular Making Up & Moving Forward guide. These repair steps prevent re-triggering a conflict, having to re-hash the details, and ensures you both feel resolved.