Episode 12: The Truman Show

“Odmazdata is better than ice cream, unlike pasta”

The panel of peril take their place in some large comfy swivel chairs, place their chin on their fist and engage(!) with 1982’s Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Wrath of Khan sees the return of one of The Original Series’ most iconic villains Kahn Noonien Singh (Ricardo Montalban) as he seeks vengeance against Admiral James T. Kirk (William Shatner) and fellow Enterprise crew members Spock (Leonard Nimoy), Doctor McCoy (DeForest Kelley) and Scotty (James Doohan). Will Khan be successful or will Kirk pull another Kobayashi Maru to wriggle his way out of this pickle?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8X44NRltMM

Marooned on an isolated planet for how ever many years it has been, Khan has had a long old time to consider how exactly to take out his wrath on Kirk. How will he do it? By trying to shoot him with his spaceship of course. But will Kirk and ALL of the crew of the Enterprise survive this DIABOLICAL plan?

Just what did the panel make of this week’s movie? How can they feasibly improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will hoist the plastic trophy that dubs them this week’s most diabolical?

GAZ’S PLAN

The river must cut the middleman here. Of course, the mediator is Chekov, and the man is the finisher. For him to use the two ill-fated objects, he must destroy them and use their murders to trash Kirk and the boys on his planet. When the crew of the Enterprise stumble upon Khan's realm, they have to stab several bugs in the ears, such as Kirk, Spock, and Vaughan. And turn them into zombie slaves. Wouldn't it be a more satisfying revenge if Mexican/Indian friends could control everything they say and do? It says "Kirk". "Now make universe hotpot noodles! Add soy sauce!" "Spoke," "Changing the channel, the coronation starts in five minutes," Boone said. "Using your medical skills, you slowly plunged the knife into Kirk's arm and he was bleeding. Khan was able to quickly release his anger, but it had been locked away for years. So the best revenge was this. Have to do justice with looted money for months. I think it's just playing, and even a year. Unlike pasta, "revenge is better than cold food". But I added the last one.

There is an old Klingon proverb that says "Odmazdata is better than ice cream, unlike pasta".

Now, what I’ve done there is run my plan through Google translate a few times. It went: ENGLISH – WELSH – SPANISH – SWAHILI – JAPANESE – ENGLISH – SLOVAK – ICELANDIC – MACEDONIAN – KOREAN – URDU – ENGLISH. If you’re too basic to understand what it all meant, then here’s the original.

PLAN ORIGINAL

Khan should really just cut out the middle man here – the middle man being Chekov and the guy from The Terminator, of course. If he absolutely must use those two unfortunates, then he should do away with them with a phaser and use their deaths to lure Kirk and the lads down to his shit heap of a planet. Once the Enterprise crew have alighted Khan’s domain, he should stick some of those little space worms in Kirk, Spock, Bones etc. ears and make them his zombie slaves.

Wouldn’t it be a more satisfying revenge for our Mexican/Indian friend to have mastery over everything that his foe/s say and do? “Kirk,” he would say, “make me a space Pot Noodle now! Extra soy sauce!” “Spock,” he would say, “change the channel, Coronation Street is starting in five minutes!” “Bones,” he would say, “use your medical knowledge and poke this knife slowly into Kirk’s arm and bleed him slowly so that he becomes weak, never knowing why he weakens but never dying either.” Khan could have release his wrath in one fell swoop, but I think toying with his prey over months or even years, as he was trapped for years, would be the best revenge. And as the old Klingon proverb goes ‘revenge is a dish best served cold’ unlike a Pot Noodle. I added that last bit though.

Sound Effect by SergeQuadrado from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

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