DIABOLICAL: Evil Schemes Done Better

“Is Mickey Mouse really a Communist?”

The panel of peril hold back their baser urges, stop playing pattycake, pull down the bed hidden in the wall of their small office and lay down to watch this week’s film Who Framed Roger Rabbit. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit sees the titular cartoon critter framed for the murder of Toontown owner Roger Acme, and it lies with whiskey sodden detective Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins) to clear his name. Who really killed Acme and why? How does no one see how obviously evil Judge Doom (Christopher Lloyd) clearly is? And why was Roger framed for murder?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEIJpS26aAw

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Traumatised by the death of his brother at the hands of a toon, Eddie Valiant is reluctant to help Roger clear his name to say the least. Encountering the likes of Mickey Mouse, Bugs Bunny, Dumbo and Betty Boop, Valiant must venture into the deepest depths of Toontown to uncover Judge Doom’s plot to dip every toon and turn town into one big road.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

The in-universe movie posters can be seen on our Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/

Paul Reubens’ voice test here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDKfLZNMtmU

Joe Pantoliano test footage here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw77Vt6sgdc

“I’m wearing more kimonos now than I was in 1993”

The panel of peril have convened once again to discuss the dystopian sci fi, action film Demolition Man (1993). We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Directed by Marco Brambilla and starring Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock and Sir Nigel Hawthorne (!), they certainly don’t make them like this anymore.

See the trailer here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B5v6QZ5R3g

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Obsessive San Angeles mayor Dr Raymond Cocteau thaws out history's most dangerous cryogenically frozen super-criminal and brainwashes him into hunting the charismatic leader of an underground group of outlawed nonconformists. Only one man can possibly stop him: the also cryogenically frozen John Spartan. But will he succeed in his mission to demolish them?

Just what did the panel make of this one? How on Earth can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the devil will be victorious in this week’s competition?

“Odmazdata is better than ice cream, unlike pasta”

The panel of peril take their place in some large comfy swivel chairs, place their chin on their fist and engage(!) with 1982’s Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Wrath of Khan sees the return of one of The Original Series’ most iconic villains Kahn Noonien Singh (Ricardo Montalban) as he seeks vengeance against Admiral James T. Kirk (William Shatner) and fellow Enterprise crew members Spock (Leonard Nimoy), Doctor McCoy (DeForest Kelley) and Scotty (James Doohan). Will Khan be successful or will Kirk pull another Kobayashi Maru to wriggle his way out of this pickle?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8X44NRltMM

Marooned on an isolated planet for how ever many years it has been, Khan has had a long old time to consider how exactly to take out his wrath on Kirk. How will he do it? By trying to shoot him with his spaceship of course. But will Kirk and ALL of the crew of the Enterprise survive this DIABOLICAL plan?

Just what did the panel make of this week’s movie? How can they feasibly improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will hoist the plastic trophy that dubs them this week’s most diabolical?

GAZ’S PLAN

The river must cut the middleman here. Of course, the mediator is Chekov, and the man is the finisher. For him to use the two ill-fated objects, he must destroy them and use their murders to trash Kirk and the boys on his planet. When the crew of the Enterprise stumble upon Khan's realm, they have to stab several bugs in the ears, such as Kirk, Spock, and Vaughan. And turn them into zombie slaves. Wouldn't it be a more satisfying revenge if Mexican/Indian friends could control everything they say and do? It says "Kirk". "Now make universe hotpot noodles! Add soy sauce!" "Spoke," "Changing the channel, the coronation starts in five minutes," Boone said. "Using your medical skills, you slowly plunged the knife into Kirk's arm and he was bleeding. Khan was able to quickly release his anger, but it had been locked away for years. So the best revenge was this. Have to do justice with looted money for months. I think it's just playing, and even a year. Unlike pasta, "revenge is better than cold food". But I added the last one.

There is an old Klingon proverb that says "Odmazdata is better than ice cream, unlike pasta".

Now, what I’ve done there is run my plan through Google translate a few times. It went: ENGLISH – WELSH – SPANISH – SWAHILI – JAPANESE – ENGLISH – SLOVAK – ICELANDIC – MACEDONIAN – KOREAN – URDU – ENGLISH. If you’re too basic to understand what it all meant, then here’s the original.

PLAN ORIGINAL

Khan should really just cut out the middle man here – the middle man being Chekov and the guy from The Terminator, of course. If he absolutely must use those two unfortunates, then he should do away with them with a phaser and use their deaths to lure Kirk and the lads down to his shit heap of a planet. Once the Enterprise crew have alighted Khan’s domain, he should stick some of those little space worms in Kirk, Spock, Bones etc. ears and make them his zombie slaves.

Wouldn’t it be a more satisfying revenge for our Mexican/Indian friend to have mastery over everything that his foe/s say and do? “Kirk,” he would say, “make me a space Pot Noodle now! Extra soy sauce!” “Spock,” he would say, “change the channel, Coronation Street is starting in five minutes!” “Bones,” he would say, “use your medical knowledge and poke this knife slowly into Kirk’s arm and bleed him slowly so that he becomes weak, never knowing why he weakens but never dying either.” Khan could have release his wrath in one fell swoop, but I think toying with his prey over months or even years, as he was trapped for years, would be the best revenge. And as the old Klingon proverb goes ‘revenge is a dish best served cold’ unlike a Pot Noodle. I added that last bit though.

Sound Effect by SergeQuadrado from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

“The Departed. Let’s talk about The Departed.”

The panel of peril pause, after watching The Departed, for a moment; Craig double crosses Gaz, Ben double crosses Craig, and Adam double crosses Ben. What a pickle! However will they get on the same page to then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod? I should make clear that they aren’t dead, just horribly injured and capable of speech.

Martin Scorsese’s The Departed (2006) finds Irish mob boss Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson) installing a mole in the Boston Police Department (Colin Sullivan played by Matt Damon) to gain the inside track on manoeuvres against his operation. Unbeknownst to him, police office Billy Costigan (Leonardo Dicaprio) has been sent on an undercover operation into the mob too. What are the odds?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iojhqm0JTW4

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Pretty much the same as above this week, tbh innit? Dicaprio’s trying to get dirt on the mob, Damon’s feeding intel to the mob – it’s a whole dosey doe type dealio. But will Costello’s scheme be successful in keeping him safe and throwing his lackeys under the proverbial bus? (See episode 10 for details on that very bus)

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the mob’s villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

A list of the names of unarmed African Americans murdered by the police can be found here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_

Sound Effect by SergeQuadrado from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Music by GioeleFazzeri from Pixabay

“Does it pass mustard?”

Removing their tiny hands from the Washington Veterans’ Memorial, the panel of peril valmorphanise to their landmark bases to discuss Team America: World Police. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Released in 2004, Team America takes satirical aim at the culture of celebrities interjecting themselves into high-level world politics, action movie cliches, American exceptionalism, and the bizarre proclivities of foreign dictators. Brought to you by South Park’s Trey Parker and Matt Stone, Team America is one for the ages.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMyJWuvW_9k

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Kim Jong-il has a lot to deal with: weapons inspections, crippling loneliness and interfering American secret ops units. All he wants to do is reduce every nation on Earth to a third world country by detonating a series of bombs during the course of his North Korean Peace Festival (deep breath). Can Team America foil his dastardly scheme?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?