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Michael and Gayle Zibilich- The Shocking Reality from their Only Child’s Suicide Leads to Life-Saving Conversations with College Students

Dear Family,

02/01/22 • 53 min

Michael Zibilich is a commercial real estate executive who resides with his wife, Gayle Zibilich, in Atlanta, Georgia. Michael and Gayle had their only child later in life, an astonishing blessing. Keller was a dream come true and as good a kid as you could imagine- a combination of strength and kindness, very mature, an athlete and expert white water kayaker, highly intelligent, and well-loved by everyone. After a very painful relationship issue with his girlfriend, and that information being broadcast through social media, Keller had an uncharacteristic anxiety attack during his second semester of freshman year in college at LSU. Keller attempted to call five hospitals to get help with no luck. An hour after helping out a friend and hours before going to a wedding with his parents, Keller died by suicide, completely shocking his beloved family and friends.

Devastated by their inexplicable loss, Michael and Gayle have dedicated their time and resources to promoting suicide education and awareness to college students throughout America. With the help of family and friends, they partnered with the Sigma Chi Foundation to create a suicide prevention hotline and an in-depth suicide education and prevention curriculum, called Strong Arms, for all 17,000 active Sigma Chi’s across the nation. Ridding shame and stigma, especially among men who are in fraternities, sports, and the armed forces who may consider talking about feelings as weak, has been an important topic of discussion during Michael’s speeches. Michael is also a speaker for Active Minds, the nation’s premier nonprofit organization supporting mental health awareness and education with young adults.

Losing a child is the hardest thing a parent can ever go through, pushing Michael and Gayle into a state of post-traumatic growth, where their world was rocked so profoundly they can’t help but make the world a better place so others don’t have to experience the same heartache. They’ve found comfort and new friendships with the young adults who are the recipients of a scholarship they’ve formed to honor their son, Keller’s legacy. Michael and Gayle remind us we all must consider ourselves as first responders, in our own lives, and in the lives of those we know and love and that our mental health is so important.

SHOW NOTE LINKS:

Michael Zibilich at Greek Talks- Georgia Tech

Michael Zibilich with Active Minds

Tracy Hargen on Dear Family,

Suicide Prevention Hotline-1-800-273-8255

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Dwana White- Professional Funny Girl and Storyteller on Wellness and Mental Health in the Black Community

Dear Family,

04/14/20 • 51 min

Dwana White is dangerously provocative, loves dinner parties, is a fan of the dialectic, and is a professional funny girl who believes in the mind-body connection. She’s here today to discuss systemic racism, white privilege, and how in the black community, mental health is not always discussed because of stigma.

Dwana grew up in Austin and San Antonio. She began modeling as a child, continuing to do so off and on even through law school. She’s a former attorney with a background in criminal prosecution and business litigation. She’s now writing and producing in Los Angeles and wants to see more people of color represented in Hollywood. She began her career in comedy as a performer on the illustrious Second City stage doing improv comedy and learning the art of storytelling and character development. Dwana is now writing and directing shows at the famed Upright Citizens Brigade and penning the occasional educational think piece.

Dwana is also a certified yoga instructor and a feminine sensual movement specialist. She’s worked with numerous women and written about the body-mind connection and the use of movement as a modality that can aid in the healing of emotional and physical traumas. We discuss the importance of wellness and mental health in the Black community, why people of color need to see more therapists who look like them, and the inequality in the health care system.

SHOW NOTE LINKS:

Dwana on Instagram

Dwana on Twitter

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Dear Family, Trailer- Eye-Opening Personal Stories about Our Complicated Families and Achieving Mental Wellness

Dear Family,

06/24/19 • 3 min

Dear Family, is a love letter about our complicated families, parenting and achieving mental health- especially when mental illness runs in the family.

With one in four people suffering from some form of mental illness during their lifetime, and with suicide, depression, and anxiety on the rise, Dear Family, will have a lot to talk about.

Everyday people to experts in their mental wellness fields will offer insight and practical advice on how to overcome mental health obstacles. Solutions to difficult family issues will be discussed through eye-opening conversations.

Think of “Dear Family” as an intimate conversation you’d have when you confide in your sister or brother, or better yet, in your best friend, who we all know is your chosen family anyway.

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Dr. Jonathan Goldfinger- Nationally Recognized Pediatrician on the Need For and Right To Mental Health Care

Dear Family,

04/26/22 • 55 min

Dr. Jonathan Goldfinger is a nationally recognized pediatrician and an advocate for mental health services for children and families, including in minority and low-income communities. His inclusive approach to health equity and policy has transformed countless lives.

He joined Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services, an 80-year organization, as the CEO just months after the pandemic began in June 2020. Didi Hirsch is a national leader offering free mental health, substance use disorder, and suicide prevention services. They’re pioneers in specialized therapy and support groups for children, adults, and families while also offering crisis residential facilities. Dr. Goldfinger’s personal connection to Didi Hirsch’s mission stems from his own intergenerational trauma, including behavioral health challenges in family and friends, experienced from a young age. With the support of nurturing grandparents, parents, and other adults, he developed strength and resilience that gave him hope and a desire to help others by combating structural stigma, poverty, and racism.

With a BA in Philosophy from Columbia University, Dr. Goldfinger completed his MD and MPH (Masters in Public Health) at Mount Sinai School of Medicine and did his residency and fellowships at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. He brings his expertise in intergenerational trauma, integrated care, and health technologies into a more humane, team-based, digital age. As Chief Medical Officer and Vice President of Innovation at the Center for Youth Wellness, he oversaw national and statewide collaborations and research addressing childhood trauma, including parent mental illness and substance use, child abuse, domestic violence, and discrimination. Before that, as Chief Medical Officer of ZERO TO THREE, he led a National Office to scale HealthySteps integrating behavioral health and primary care for parents and young children through transformative partnerships with health systems, communities, government, and philanthropy.

Dr. Goldfinger currently serves on the California Office of the Surgeon General and Department of Health Care Services’ Trauma-Informed Primary Care Advisory Committee, has published with the CDC among other publications, and has won numerous awards and honors for his advocacy and public health research. Dr. Goldfinger lives with his accomplished, beloved wife and two adorable boys.

SHOW NOTE LINKS:

Didi Hirsch

SAMHSA

Mental Health Coalition

Suicide Hotline- 800-273-8255 or 988 (starting July 16, 2022)

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Jeanette-ically Speaking YouTube Channel

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Jeanette Yoffe- From Foster Care to Adoption to Trauma-Informed Therapist Jeanette-ically Speaking

Dear Family,

04/08/22 • 61 min

Jeanette Yoffe believes family is so much more than our blood relations. Her strong desire to become a trauma-informed psychotherapist with a special focus on adopted and foster care issues began with her own experiences of moving through the foster care system and being adopted. Jeanette lived with her birth family for the first year of her life until she was put into foster care due to her mother’s schizophrenia. Her father was not willing to take care of his two young children and when he later had a new family, he never told them about his previous children, continuing the cycle of secrecy and shame surrounding adoption. After living with a few foster families, Jeanette was adopted at seven and a half years old. Although she feels lucky to have joined a loving family who adopted more children, she still suffered trauma that led to mental health challenges.

In 1999, Jeanette took her New York theater background and wrote a one-woman play about growing up in foster care and adoption called, “What’s Your Name, Who’s Your Daddy” which was later turned into a book and audiobook. With a desire to create what she wished she could have received as a child, she began to work tirelessly to help other families. Now with over 20 years of experience, she provides mental health education and support as a psychotherapist, foster care social worker, clinical director, and trainer for L.A. County Child & Family Services and the Department of Mental Health. She teaches parents, social workers, and therapists all about adoption and foster care challenges, trauma-informed parenting, the impact of pre-adoption trauma, grief and loss, and open adoption.

Jeanette provides support to adult adoptees searching for long-lost family members as well as assists in family reunification. She is a Court Appointed Reunification Expert for Los Angeles Superior Court in cases involving children at risk for separation. She is also the Executive Director and Founder of Celia Center (named after her birth mother), a non-profit support center that meets the critical needs of all those connected by Foster Care and Adoption and all those who serve the community of Foster Care and Adoption in Los Angeles and beyond. She’s just published her first children’s book, “What is Adoption? For Kids.” Her YouTube channel, Jeanette-ically Speaking (with a J) is a fabulous resource for adoptive parents, biological parents, adoptees, and anyone looking to learn more about the foster care and adoption challenges and joys.

SHOW NOTE LINKS:

Jeanette Yoffe’s Website

Children’s Book- What is Adoption- For Kids

Celia Center

What’s Your Name, Who’s Your Daddy- A One Woman Play About Growing Up in Foster Care and Adoption

Jeanette Yoffe on Twitter

Jeanette Yoffe on Instagram

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Corresponding Article- Newborn Adult- From Cradle to College to Care Packages

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Newborn Adult- From Cradle to College to Care Packages

Dear Family,

10/19/21 • 17 min

It’s been said the two hardest days for parents are the first day home with their newborn and the first day home without their newborn adult. My oldest child has just flown the coop, left her nest, and started her own journey. She’s in a new city two thousand miles from home, an independent young adult no longer under my roof. After moving her in and hugging her goodbye on her new campus, I’m here to report I cried like a blubbering baby in the rental car on the way to the airport without her. I also wouldn’t want and can’t imagine her being anywhere else.

Understanding the power of community, I organized a Care Package Party with thirty other families who had new freshmen who’d just left home. Knowing college kids love getting packages from home, they’d be even more excited to receive one with different items from so many families. The party was a success, mostly because all of us parents had time to be together, connect, and share. Before sealing up my daughter’s box with a few things she needed from home, I wrote her an inspirational note I share on this podcast, initially hoping it would make her feel better but now also hoping it makes you feel better too. It sure made me feel better.

How bittersweet it is a parent’s job is to teach their children not to need them anymore. The hardest part of this parenting gig is accepting your success. The moment my newborn’s umbilical cord was cut, my goal was for her to create autonomy and have her need me less. It doesn’t mean I can’t remind my newborn adult I will always be there for her when she needs to rest her wings.

SHOW NOTE LINKS:

Grown and Flown Article on Care Package Parties

Project Dorm Room Website

Lisa Heffernan on the Dear Family, Podcast- Grown and Flown- How to Stay Close as a Family and Raise Independent Adults

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The Men’s Groomer on Instagram

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Jason Schneidman- Venice Beach’s The Mens Groomer to the Stars and the Homeless- on Sobriety and How a Haircut Can Literally Change Someone’s Life

Dear Family,

10/20/20 • 35 min

Jason Schneidman grew up on the beaches of Southern California surfing and seeking the fun, care-free lifestyle it offered. His partying continued into his thirties until his life unraveled completely when he found himself homeless and addicted to crack cocaine. Sixteen years ago, he knew he had to do something otherwise he’d end up in jail or dead and so he asked for help and began the hard word of getting and staying sober.

Jason’s rehabilitation taught him the importance of giving back. He decided to go out onto the streets with cordless clippers and treat homeless individuals as though they were his celebrity clients. He was able to connect with them because he’d been through what they had. With a friend nearby to video his encounters, hundreds of thousands of Instagram viewers would get to see first hand his motto, “A haircut can change a life.” You can’t be helped but be moved to see how a haircut and kind human interaction not only helps people gain self-confidence and see their value, but also seek treatment for their addiction and gain employment.

Since Jason was a young teen he’d been cutting hair, but not until he got sober did his fierce work ethic lead him to make a name for himself creating fully unified looks for press tours, red carpets, music videos and editorial gigs. After apprenticing under Jennifer Aniston’s hair stylist, Chris McMillan, Jason was soon being asked to fly off to the the Super Bowl to cut Bruno Mars hair, and style and cut other big celebrities like Rob Lowe, James Corden, Hugh Jackman, Jonah Hill, Robert Pattinson, and Jay Shetty to name a few. His editorial work has appeared in magazines such as Rolling Stone, GQ, Entertainment Weekly, and Billboard.

Jason branched out on his own creating an entire salon and product line upon the fundamentals of men’s hair care. Aptly named “The Mens Groomer,” his Venice Beach, Lincoln Boulevard headquarters is part barbershop, part coffee shop, and part surf/skate shop. With his motorcycles and hot rods parked in front and his shop next to the iconic Dogtown Skateboards, it’s the epitome of California cool. Don’t be surprised if the legendary surfer, Laird Hamilton stops by for a cut and coffee.

Jason donates a percentage of his styling products and his haircuts to his foundation he started to give the homeless the second chance they need and deserve. Jason is married and has two adorable kids. He’s grateful every day for his family and friends and for the devoted group of clients he continues to gain and keep.

SHOW NOTE LINKS:

The Men’s Groomer Shop

The Men’s Groomer Foundation

Rachel’s Essay- Homelessness is More Than Lesshomeless

Jonathan Leeper on Dear Family,- Homeless Drug Addict Becomes Beacon of Hope Helping the Homeless

Adam Kallen on Dear Family,- Success Story Overcoming Addiction to Owning Hottest Motorcycle Apparel Brand & Hosting All-Men’s AA Meeting

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The Survivors: A Story of War, Inheritance, and Healing

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Adam Frankel Obama’s Speechwriter on Identity Crises, Family Secrets, Intergenerational Trauma and Healing

Dear Family,

09/22/20 • 36 min

Adam Frankel’s maternal grandparents survived the Holocaust and built new lives, with new names, in Connecticut. Although they tried to leave the horrors of their past behind, the pain they suffered crossed generational lines- a fact most apparent in the mental health of Adam’s mother. When Adam sat down with her to examine their family history in detail, he learned another shocking secret. His beloved dad was not in fact his biological father and no one knew.

At just 25 years old, Adam was a senior speechwriter for President Barack Obama when he discovered he was only half of who he thought he was. This new knowledge created an identity crisis Adam tried to push down but manifested in panic attacks because he couldn’t speak to his dad about it for fear it would break his heart.

Adam goes on a journey to define his family’s bond and ultimately rewrites his family’s story in truth to build a life for his own young family. In his book, The Survivors- A Story of War, Inheritance and Healing we come to see the nature of our families’ traumas may vary but each of us is faced with the same choice. We can turn away from what we’ve inherited or we can confront it in the hope of moving on and stopping that trauma from inflicting pain on future generations.

Adam is a graduate of Princeton University and the London School of Economics and Political Science, where he was a Fulbright Scholar. Currently, he is an advisor to Emerson Collective, a social change organization, and Fenway Strategies, the communications firm founded by Jon Favreau and Tommy Vietor. Adam lives in Arlington, Virginia with his wife and two children.

SHOW NOTE LINKS:

Adam Frankel’s Website

Borderline Personality Disorder

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Terry & Rachel Winter- (Part 1) Award-Winning Master Storytellers Share their Real-Life Marriage Story

Dear Family,

02/18/20 • 46 min

An Unforgettable Two-Part Series- Here's Part ONE

Terry and Rachel Winter aren’t just my Dearest Friends turned Dearest Family members, they’re also the second married couple in history to ever be nominated for Academy Awards during the same year but with different movies. Terry was nominated for writing The Wolf of Wall Street and Rachel for producing Dallas Buyers Club. Terry loves to tell a good story and Rachel loves to envision and bring it to life- a match made in Hollywood Heaven.

Terence Winter grew up in a working-class family in Brooklyn, New York. He attended NYU and St. John's University School of Law, practicing law for two years before moving to LA to pursue screenwriting. His immense hustle, drive, and talent eventually landed him a dream job writing 25 episodes and executive producing the legendary The Sopranos with the iconic tough mobster, Tony Soprano hoping to shrink his anxiety attacks on the therapist’s couch. He was honored with four Emmy Awards and Writer’s Guild Awards.

Terry went on to create, write, and executive produce HBO's TV series Boardwalk Empire and Vinyl. His Academy Award-nominated screenplay adaptation for Martin Scorcese's The Wolf of Wall Street is a movie that continues to be a favorite with the younger generation.

Rachel Winter grew up in the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles and went to UC Santa Barbara for college, where we first met as freshmen. Rachel’s first job in entertainment production was in softcore porn because the only person she knew at the time was in that kind of “movie business” She worked her way up as a PA, cable wrangler, and 2nd AD before catching a break with a legitimate producer, and then another, until she moved to independent development. Rachel is the Academy Award-nominated producer of Dallas Buyer's Club. She made her directorial debut in The Space Between, a feature film starring Kelsey Grammer, Jackson White, and Paris Jackson. When Rachel’s not designing houses, shopping for vintage furnishings or clothes, or running her kids around town, Rachel has several projects in development, including the untitled LeBron James biopic for Universal and a feature based on the life of the daredevil motorcycle icon Evel Knievel at Paramount.

Rachel and Terry live in Los Angeles with their tween daughter, their soon-to-be teenage son, and their rescue dog, Skittles. I’m so pleased they’re here together today to tell us all how their marriage story was worth rewriting to have a happy ending.

SHOW NOTE LINKS: Terry & Rachel Winter- (Part 2) Award Winning Master Storytellers Share their Real-Life Marriage Story

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