An Overbearing Mother-In-Law, Child Support Manipulation & Pulling Up Your Siblings

06/07/23 • 31 min

1 Listener

Today – overbearing mother in laws, being manipulated by child support & whether it’s your place to pull up your siblings on how they treat your parents. Here are this week's questions:

- My siblings and I grew up with my biological father who was an abusive alcoholic. My older sister bore the brunt of this relationship as she often intervened in their fights & drove us to our grandparents house in the middle of the night when things escalated. I firmly believe my mum was a victim in this situation but my sister treats her with resentment and anger. I want to talk to my sister about the way she treats our mum, but I'm not sure if it's my place to say anything. Should I be having a frank conversation with my sister about the way she treats my mum?

My mother-in-law is constantly nit-picking at me & everyone else in the family. How do I deal with it without reducing this to a misogynistic mother-in-law vs. daughter-in-law trope?

My daughter’s father was recently informed by the ATO that he needs to increase his child support payments. He suggested to my daughter that he pay her the extra money directly instead, and help her to learn about money, budgeting and saving. The way he asked me was to tell my daughter, which I suspect is a manipulative tactic. Now, he keeps telling her she needs to contribute to things financially with him, like dinners out etc. I can’t help but feel that this whole thing was a manipulative way of just not paying me the money. Am I overly suspicious and uncharitable of my ex or have I assessed the situation correctly?

If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: [email protected]
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott

For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today – overbearing mother in laws, being manipulated by child support & whether it’s your place to pull up your siblings on how they treat your parents. Here are this week's questions:

My mother-in-law is constantly nit-picking at me & everyone else in the family. How do I deal with it without reducing this to a misogynistic mother-in-law vs. daughter-in-law trope?

If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: [email protected]
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott

For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Previous Episode

Body Hair, Co-Parenting With A Narcissist & Becoming Confident At Work

This week's dose of no-nonsense advice includes how to learn to love body hair, parenting with a cheating man-child & growing your confidence at work.

I have recently been instructed by my gynaecologist to stop shaving so I can recover from a medical condition. Lately though, as I "bare" witness to my full bush returning, feeling sexy with my new look has eluded me. My current, and wonderfully supportive partner says it makes no difference to them but I can't help but feel... messy? Unkempt perhaps? How can I learn to feel sexy with my body hair, empowered, and untamed in all of my natural glory?
I am 9 weeks separated from my husband of 10 years, partner for 18. We have 2 children. It turns out that he has casually cheated on me for at least 10 years and probably longer. He told me today, he is on the dating apps and get this, not looking for anything casual! The timeline has still left me reeling. How do I get through this and find a place where I can healthily coparent with this narcissistic, indulgent man-child?
I need some help with my return-to-work post baby. After six months off, I’ve now returned to work part time and I’m not feeling like I have the knowledge or ability I had when I left. In a recent discussion around who would get jobs next year, my name came up and my stridently male supervisor said that I need to be more confident. This was after a conversation where I approached and asked for support to improve my knowledge and skills.... he told me “you just need to have more confidence, we’ve all been there”. Have you? Been the primary parent of a breastfed child trying to return to work halfway through training after a long career break?! FFS. How do I summon the rage and work on improving my practice despite him? I’m not a very angry person, and I just feel like crawling into a hole/leaving my medical job and doing something less stressful.

If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: [email protected]
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott

For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Next Episode

Letting A Friendship Go, Finding The Courage To Leave & Keeping Your Parents' Secrets

Today – when to let go of a friendship, finding the courage to walk away and the burden of keeping your father’s cheating secret. In this episode, Clementine answers:

I was good friends with a girl I lived in my old street with. We lived in the same street for about 3 years, had our babies at the same time and were very close. I considered her one of my good friends. I moved across the city about 30 mins away and so of course we saw each other less but still continued to catch up. Over the last 2 years I've tried to continue the friendship and have contacted her multiple times to which I basically get ignored. Should I let this friendship go or address it with her?
- I’m 29 and have been with my partner for nearly 12 years. Over that time we’ve had huge ups and downs. We’ve travelled the world together, now own a home and I’ve also had incredible independence in travelling alone, making friends and forging a great career for myself. We’ve also had lots of lows. My partner has bipolar and I’m his primary carer as it’s a secret from his family (his choice), he has physically cheated once and at least three times emotionally, including late last year. Lately I’ve been thinking about the kind of future I want, and the only word that comes to my is “peace.” Mistakes aside, my partner is a beautiful person, but I have made lots of sacrifices and I think I’d finally like to choose me. So how on earth do you find the courage to walk away, particularly when it involves hurting somebody else?
- Ten or so years ago I was on a gap year and stayed with my dad in Nepal while he was working there for a couple of months. One day I came back to the apartment and there was a female colleague of his there too. That night he told me it was a mistake and he was very sorry. He was sorry too that it was a burden I would have to carry to not tell his wife, my mum. I still struggle with what responsibility I have to my mum, knowing what happened. Today my parents are seemingly happier than ever. I’m really terrified of being the one to break this family, but I can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t fair for my mum. And does me being their son change this dynamic at all?

If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: [email protected]
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott

For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.