Dear Clementine

Today – overbearing mother in laws, being manipulated by child support & whether it’s your place to pull up your siblings on how they treat your parents. Here are this week's questions:

- My siblings and I grew up with my biological father who was an abusive alcoholic. My older sister bore the brunt of this relationship as she often intervened in their fights & drove us to our grandparents house in the middle of the night when things escalated. I firmly believe my mum was a victim in this situation but my sister treats her with resentment and anger. I want to talk to my sister about the way she treats our mum, but I'm not sure if it's my place to say anything. Should I be having a frank conversation with my sister about the way she treats my mum?

My mother-in-law is constantly nit-picking at me & everyone else in the family. How do I deal with it without reducing this to a misogynistic mother-in-law vs. daughter-in-law trope?

My daughter’s father was recently informed by the ATO that he needs to increase his child support payments. He suggested to my daughter that he pay her the extra money directly instead, and help her to learn about money, budgeting and saving. The way he asked me was to tell my daughter, which I suspect is a manipulative tactic. Now, he keeps telling her she needs to contribute to things financially with him, like dinners out etc. I can’t help but feel that this whole thing was a manipulative way of just not paying me the money. Am I overly suspicious and uncharitable of my ex or have I assessed the situation correctly?

If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: [email protected]
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott

For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This time, Clementine gives some advice on a relationship that's become tricky to navigate.
Here's the question:

• I've been in a relationship with another woman for nearly ten years. Lately I expressed my honest feelings about the relationship to her and said that I don't really feel the way I once did and that I'm not happy. I have even tried to end the relationship twice but this has not worked out. My partner has told me she doesn't think I want to end the relationship and that she feels that the reason for this is because we are finally looking to move in together. I know I'm no longer the person I was in university and although she has done nothing wrong, I just feel unhappy and trapped in my life, people are constantly telling us we are perfect for each other and it makes me wonder if the issue really is my anxiety. I don't know how to proceed further as I feel I'm stuck whichever way I turn. Do you have any advice for navigating the situation?

If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to [email protected]

CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie

For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox:

• I wanted to know if you had advice for handling the feelings and (internal) fallout when you have disagreements or tiffs with friends. I pride myself on being a good, caring, loyal friend but hey - sometimes I do insensitive or thoughtless things. My close friends and I talk about things when we mess up, we make an effort to understand each other, and I know we love each other - but I can’t help feeling like a failure, like I’m less-than or not as-good as them when I do or say something I'm not proud of.
• I am a 39 year old woman in a relationship with a man 5 years younger than me. He’s amazing (supportive, caring, empowering) and I’m really happy in the relationship. I can’t however shake this sense of feeling sorry for him because I am older than him, and that therefore I am holding him back or he is worse off somehow because he could instead be with someone younger and therefore more worthy or appealing. How do I shake these feelings of inadequacy and allow myself to embrace the relationship without this anxiety getting in the way?
• I have two teenage daughters, 15 and 17 years old. We were recently talking about sex and the subject of vibrators came up. My youngest asked if I owned one and if I would ever get her or her sister one. Usually I would not disclose this information about myself but instead chose too. She was not surprised and an open conversation followed. What I’m asking is do you think it is ok for me to purchase a toy to assist them with self-pleasure? Is there a right or wrong age to do this?

If you have a question for Clementine, send her an email at [email protected]

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week Tiger Woods handed his playing partner, Justin Thomas, a tampon after he'd outdriven him during the opening round of the Genesis Invitational. Here's why it's not funny.

CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie

For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today's episode; we're talking re-evaluating how you spend your time, forgiving your former self & whether it's okay to accept financial help from a mother you don't like.
Today Clementine answers:

• When I was in my 20s pre-kids I threw myself into sports, being on committees, studying, organising big social events etc. Now I’m in my mid-40s and have teenage kids I have more time to follow my interests, but I have found I don’t have the motivation that I used to jump into all these activities. I think part of it is being older and wiser, but I am mourning my past self a bit. I’m wondering if you can relate or have any advice?
• Recently I was going through unopened messages on Facebook. Some of the messages were conversations with people from as far back as 2013, when I was 17 years old and finishing high school. In one conversation, I was slut shaming one of my classmates to him because she had sent nudes to a boy. I have since gained much more progressive views. I want to be kind to my younger self but when I think about her I feel ashamed. What do I do?
• I have a toxic and complicated relationship with my mother but she has offered to pay my HECS debt and I don’t know whether to accept the offer. I do not like this woman and she has done some horrible things to me, but should I profit off it in this way?

If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: [email protected]
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.