3636 How to Say No Without Guilt

03/14/25 • 18 min

Guilt is a real thing for parents. We want to give our kids what we didn't have, but at what cost and to what extremes? At some point, you must embrace how to say no without guilt.

Because can you really reason with a child, no matter their age?

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Absolutely not!!

Yet, because we want to be that endearing parent who gives our kids what we didn't have, we try to approach situations and circumstances with a reasonable twist. But they can't reason! Their brains have not fully developed.

And, of course, you have to consider the situation and the appropriate actions.

Life is ridiculous for parents, and it doesn't get easier the older they get.

What I can tell you that works best is that you are the parent, so be the parent!

The K.I.S.S. ~ Be the parent!

That means you have to be the adult in the situation. You have to look at how you need to respond based on the severity, or lack thereof, and determine your next steps, especially when it comes to discipline.

There are consequences in life, good or bad. Raising your kids to understand that they can get away with whatever, and there are no consequences, only sets them up for future failures and greater falls.

You were given your children to raise them up to be productive human beings, not to be their best friend. Plus, you're not grandma and grandpa. They've earned the right to spoil; you have the right to discipline! So, be the parent!

1. Examine the situation for what it is.

There is nothing worse than overreacting! Instead of being overly dramatic or monstrous in your reaction, take a deep breath and see the situation. Don't read into the what-ifs. Gather the facts and know the potential fallout. So long as everyone is safe, that is what counts first. Then, take the next step.

2. Choose your words wisely.

When we are pushed to the limits and stressed without preparation, it's easy to jump into survival mode. Yet, being a parent requires regulated and calculated conversations. If it can wait until morning (assuming the incident happens at night), then maybe that would be better for all involved. However, if the situation calls for a "911" response by you, then think before you open your mouth. Otherwise, it might end up being a foot-in-the-mouth moment. Not good. So, choose your words wisely.

3. Know the lesson they need to learn.

If you can approach the circumstance with the knowledge of what they need to get out of the mess, that will bring a sense of balance to a stressful situation. And then, you can prepare how you want to lead them into making a wiser decision, so they don't make the same mistake again.

Certainly, you have to survey the situation. But also, don't be afraid to be firm. Life is precious and so are your children. Teaching them the way to go is one of the greatest responsibilities that we have as parents.

Yes, we want to give our kiddos what we didn't have, but don't let them make the same mistakes you did. As parents, we get to break the generational mishaps and make life more meaningful. Who wants to continue stuff that isn't good? Our parents did their best, and as time goes on, we can also do better. Giving that incredible gift to your child allows you to say no without guilt.

"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!! ! "

#ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama #CreateYourNow #TodaysParent

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Guilt is a real thing for parents. We want to give our kids what we didn't have, but at what cost and to what extremes? At some point, you must embrace how to say no without guilt.

Because can you really reason with a child, no matter their age?

Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at Women of IMPACT. https://createyournow.mn.co

Absolutely not!!

And, of course, you have to consider the situation and the appropriate actions.

Life is ridiculous for parents, and it doesn't get easier the older they get.

What I can tell you that works best is that you are the parent, so be the parent!

The K.I.S.S. ~ Be the parent!

1. Examine the situation for what it is.

2. Choose your words wisely.

3. Know the lesson they need to learn.

"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!! ! "

#ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama #CreateYourNow #TodaysParent

🔔 Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at Women of IMPACT. https://createyournow.mn.co

🙏 Create Your Now TV on Pray.com (https://pray.com)

🎥 Create Your Now on YouTube (https://youtube.com/createyournow)

🎧 Create Your Now on Spotify, Pandora, and Audible.

🎶 Create Your Now on iHeart Radio (

Previous Episode

3635 Direction Comes From Action

As the week drags on, keeping what needs to be done in front of you is hard. The challenges are real. But don't despair when you get to choose, if it's really unfair. Direction comes from action.

Your week may be looking totally different than when you set your clocks ahead.

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All the hours filled with struggles and troubles because you are trying to live your best life is exhausting. Yet, why pull back and settle in?

You are made for more.

And if you stay frustrated and discouraged and focus less on what's possible, you won't get anywhere.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Direction comes from action!

And it doesn't have to be perfect action. If you are struggling with your health, what one thing can you focus on this week. By changing one thing a week, by the end of the year, you will have changed 52 things. That's IMPACT!

Direction comes from action.

So— don't wait until you have everything right where you need it. Don't wait until you can slow down; that's false hope. Don't beat yourself up over silly mistakes. Do better next time.

Life is all about learning, growing, and stretching. If you are a willing participant in what God has in store for you every day, that's where the magic will happen. And please understand that it's not an overnight success story, or that all struggles and troubles will disappear.

There will be hurdles and heartaches, but there will also be blessings.

Today, look for the impossible and see how you can overcome it. Direction comes from action. If something isn't working, you'll take detour. Life is an adventure. See it for what it is and be blessed by all that God gives.

With your smile, create your now!

"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!! ! "

#Inspiration #CreateYourNow #DailyMotivation

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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson

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Music by Mandisa - Overcomer

http://www.mandisaofficial.com

Song ID: 68209 Song Title: Overcomer Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI) One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music - Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Next Episode

3637 Uncover What Is Hidden

Many times, we go through our days loading the trucks, relying on habits that come easy, and wishing for something better. Deep down, married life isn't all roses and rainbows. If only we could uncover what is hidden.

And what is hidden? Those feelings you never share: loneliness, failure, defeat, despair, frustration, anger, shame...all the ones that you think will disappear in a few days.

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"Surely, it will get better," you repeat to yourself.

So, what does your reality look like? In fact, let me ask you a more challenging question. What does your night feel like?

The darker the night, there's a flood of emotions and feelings. It's almost as if the night brings out the monster feelings we attempt to ignore during the day.

With a restless sleep and a weary heart, it's so tough to make it. But somehow you do, and then the sun rises. You rinse and repeat because that's what you know.

But married life is not intended to be something you hate and despise. It does require work connecting two hearts. And that doesn't come easy. However, it can be accomplished. You just have to be willing to uncover what is hidden.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Uncover what is hidden!

And for the most part, what is hidden is you! Maybe you think it's better to stay quiet and reserved with your words instead of speaking up and letting your voice be heard.

I want you to keep in mind that marriage is a two-way street. It takes two to have a marriage where you grow together, encourage each other, and live life well. If anyone tells you differently, they are telling a fib!

But you don't have to settle for where you are right now. If you want a marriage in which two people can do life together well, it can be you!!

Yet, it comes with a cost. You must uncover what is hidden.

Acknowledge Your Hurt - This can be a particular situation that was a one and done. Or it might be a pattern of actions that repeat themselves quite frequently with your spouse. What matters is that if it is bothering you and thoughts pop up regularly, there is something there.
Express Yourself with Care - If you choose to hold onto hurts, they will not only destroy your marriage but also you! So, share your thoughts and feelings with your spouse. If it is something that you believe will set your spouse off in the a negative direction, be sure you share with someone you feel safe with. You don't have to do it alone. *And if you are in physical danger, please seek help!
Forgive to move forward - You can do all the stuff, but if you are not willing to forgive your spouse, then it will lead to bitterness for you! And bitterness truly sucks the life out of you. If you think you have it bad now, when you hit the rock bottom of bitterness, it can be so emotionally and psychologically destructive. It tears you up from the inside out! But you can overcome knowing that both of you are coming together and willing to work together.

If you can get professional help, I would highly encourage it. And gentlemen, if you are listening, be a man and go too! If you want this to work, remember it takes two!

I want you to think about this episode as a way to change what you don't want so you can have what you dreamed of for your marriage.

"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!! ! "

#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage

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