054: The “Engagement Coaching” Movement with Jonna Phillips, MA, LMFT

03/11/20 • 20 min

On this episode, we’re talking with the amazing Jonna Phillips. Jonna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a passion for premarital couples work, which she calls “Engagement Coaching.”

Jonna started out working with military couples almost 15 years ago, then shifted into psychiatric care for individuals, couples, families, and military members. Her passion to help couples of all backgrounds build positive foundations for their marriage.

I have discovered in my work with couples the more you are willing to have a deeper understanding of yourself and your partner prior to marriage the healthier your relationship will be.”

Jonna’s practice is located in Portage, Michigan. If you’re in the area and engaged, check out her engagement coaching services!

In this episode, we talk about:

Why Jonna prefers the term “engagement coaching” to premarital counseling or therapy
Why premarital coaching should be something every couple does
Bringing personality assessments and other tools into a relationship
How seeking help in your relationship is like giving your car an oil change
Using “I” statements to communicate with your partner instead of “You” statements—Owning vs blaming
Why we (Bud and Sara) refused premarital counseling

#ConfidentCouples Challenge:

Listen in on Jonna’s new podcast! The Engagement Coach Podcast

Mentioned in this episode:

Jonna’s practice: Brave Counseling & Coaching
The Enneagram (Jonna uses this assessment, and this is our podcast episode about it)
Jonna’s article about why she uses the Enneagram
Prepare & Enrich Couples Assessment
The Engagement Coach Podcast

Let’s connect! Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

I have discovered in my work with couples the more you are willing to have a deeper understanding of yourself and your partner prior to marriage the healthier your relationship will be.”

Jonna’s practice is located in Portage, Michigan. If you’re in the area and engaged, check out her engagement coaching services!

In this episode, we talk about:

Why Jonna prefers the term “engagement coaching” to premarital counseling or therapy
Why premarital coaching should be something every couple does
Bringing personality assessments and other tools into a relationship
How seeking help in your relationship is like giving your car an oil change
Using “I” statements to communicate with your partner instead of “You” statements—Owning vs blaming
Why we (Bud and Sara) refused premarital counseling

#ConfidentCouples Challenge:

Listen in on Jonna’s new podcast! The Engagement Coach Podcast

Mentioned in this episode:

Jonna’s practice: Brave Counseling & Coaching
The Enneagram (Jonna uses this assessment, and this is our podcast episode about it)
Jonna’s article about why she uses the Enneagram
Prepare & Enrich Couples Assessment
The Engagement Coach Podcast

Let’s connect! Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

Previous Episode

053: Breadwinning Women with Lindsay Bryan-Podvin

Financial therapist Lindsay is back! Today, we’re talking with Lindsay about her focus on working with couples with breadwinning women.

In her experience, Lindsay has found that couples with non-traditional money roles can often have emotional and financial challenges. We knew we needed to dive in and find out more.

This episode features guest Lindsay Bryan-Podvin of Mind Money Balance, one of only 50 financial therapists in the United States. Don’t miss her first episode with us: 050: What is Financial Therapy?!

In this episode, we talk about:

When Lindsay first heard women come into her office and say “I wish I didn’t have this pressure” or “I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I wish my husband made more than me.”
Some of the challenges Lindsay sees in these types of relationships
The common discounting and downplaying behavior that breadwinning women have
See-saw earners—couples who contribute somewhat equally financially
Why Lindsay recommends couples pool their money into one bank account
Identifying the non-monetary assets you bring to the relationship

#ConfidentCouples Challenge:

Do Lindsay’s example exercise (fast forward to 12:30)!

What do I need to believe in order that we are equitable partners in our relationship?
What would need to happen in order for our relationship to feel equitable?

Mentioned in this episode:

Our first episode with Lindsay: 050: What is Financial Therapy?!
The Shopping Budget (similar to the monthly cash Lindsay and her husband allocate): 005: The Shopping Budget – Spend $ Without Judgement
Lindsay’s group couples coaching program: Boundless

Let’s connect! Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

Next Episode

055: The End of Season 1 (and a List of Our Best Episodes So Far)

We spent 17 years together and 8 years married coming up with 55 things to talk about related to relationships.

Every week for a year, we sat at our kitchen table and talked into our microphones, hoping to share hope and intentional strategies to create strong partnerships.

We’d say we’ve covered the high points that we wanted to when we got started.

So—This is the last episode of Season 1. After today, we’re going to take a break to start a new list of episode ideas and connect with more potential guests.

This is a great time to scroll back into the archive and save any episodes that interest you. On today’s short recording, we’ll point you to a few of our favorites.

Sara’s Can’t Miss Episodes:

005: The Shopping Budget – Spend $ Without Judgement – our way to solve your conflicts around discretionary spending
Our personality testing series, starting with 017: Personality Tests – How to Finally (!) Understand Your Partner
One of our most commented-on episodes: 021: So... When Are You Having Kids? – why we are child-free by choice
028: Roadblocks to Budgeting (And How to Do It Anyway)

Bud’s Can’t Miss Episodes:

001: The Three-Legged Stool – Our foundational episode about what we see as the pillars of strong long-term relationships:
002: The Ritual – The connection practice we do every single day (The Confident Couples Podcast’s #1 downloaded episode!)
046: Networking as a Couple

Let’s connect! Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.