Confident Couples Podcast

Our episode about core values in a relationship has been one of our most popular episodes ever. So when Bud met a business culture expert who doesn’t believe in core values, we knew we needed to have him on our podcast to explain why.

In today’s episode, we’re joined by David Friedman, founder of High Performing Culture and author of Culture By Design. David explains the flaws of core values and why he prefers to talk about “fundamentals” instead.

He even dives into his work to help clients define their “Family Fundamentals,” the fundamental behaviors that a family might believe in.

In this episode, we talk about:

• The difference between values and behaviors
• The danger of statements like “I’ll try to be home early tonight.”
• What David would have done differently and more intentionally in raising his children
• How to develop your family fundamentals
• A weekly process to share and teach fundamentals

Examples of fundamentals:

• Practice blameless problem solving
• Fill each other’s bucket regularly
• Your attitude is always a choice
• Be flexible

Mentioned in this episode:

• 008: Core Values – What Matters Most in Your Relationship?

Let’s connect! Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

We’re back, we’re quarantining, and we’re here to talk about it.

We’re not people who hate spending time together, but— let’s be honest— this is a lot of time together. In this episode, we talk about how we’re coping, issues we think couples may be having, and how to get along together in isolation.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Bud staying home all day, every day
• Sara’s sweet but impossible vision of co-working together
• Bud’s grumpy wife and cool co-worker
• Division of new chores
• Communicating early rather than letting frustrations build-up
• How natural and normal it is to notice your partner’s annoying habits
• Our new bell-ringing experiment

#ConfidentCouples Challenge

Mindfully notice something positive about each of your family members today

Let’s connect! Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

We spent 17 years together and 8 years married coming up with 55 things to talk about related to relationships.

Every week for a year, we sat at our kitchen table and talked into our microphones, hoping to share hope and intentional strategies to create strong partnerships.

We’d say we’ve covered the high points that we wanted to when we got started.

So—This is the last episode of Season 1. After today, we’re going to take a break to start a new list of episode ideas and connect with more potential guests.

This is a great time to scroll back into the archive and save any episodes that interest you. On today’s short recording, we’ll point you to a few of our favorites.

Sara’s Can’t Miss Episodes:

• 005: The Shopping Budget – Spend $ Without Judgement – our way to solve your conflicts around discretionary spending
• Our personality testing series, starting with 017: Personality Tests – How to Finally (!) Understand Your Partner
• One of our most commented-on episodes: 021: So... When Are You Having Kids? – why we are child-free by choice
• 028: Roadblocks to Budgeting (And How to Do It Anyway)

Bud’s Can’t Miss Episodes:

• 001: The Three-Legged Stool – Our foundational episode about what we see as the pillars of strong long-term relationships:
• 002: The Ritual – The connection practice we do every single day (The Confident Couples Podcast’s #1 downloaded episode!)
• 046: Networking as a Couple

Let’s connect! Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

On this episode, we’re talking with the amazing Jonna Phillips. Jonna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a passion for premarital couples work, which she calls “Engagement Coaching.”

Jonna started out working with military couples almost 15 years ago, then shifted into psychiatric care for individuals, couples, families, and military members. Her passion to help couples of all backgrounds build positive foundations for their marriage.

I have discovered in my work with couples the more you are willing to have a deeper understanding of yourself and your partner prior to marriage the healthier your relationship will be.”

Jonna’s practice is located in Portage, Michigan. If you’re in the area and engaged, check out her engagement coaching services!

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why Jonna prefers the term “engagement coaching” to premarital counseling or therapy
• Why premarital coaching should be something every couple does
• Bringing personality assessments and other tools into a relationship
• How seeking help in your relationship is like giving your car an oil change
• Using “I” statements to communicate with your partner instead of “You” statements—Owning vs blaming
• Why we (Bud and Sara) refused premarital counseling

#ConfidentCouples Challenge:

Listen in on Jonna’s new podcast! The Engagement Coach Podcast

Mentioned in this episode:

• Jonna’s practice: Brave Counseling & Coaching
• The Enneagram (Jonna uses this assessment, and this is our podcast episode about it)
• Jonna’s article about why she uses the Enneagram
• Prepare & Enrich Couples Assessment
• The Engagement Coach Podcast

Let’s connect! Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.

Financial therapist Lindsay is back! Today, we’re talking with Lindsay about her focus on working with couples with breadwinning women.

In her experience, Lindsay has found that couples with non-traditional money roles can often have emotional and financial challenges. We knew we needed to dive in and find out more.

This episode features guest Lindsay Bryan-Podvin of Mind Money Balance, one of only 50 financial therapists in the United States. Don’t miss her first episode with us: 050: What is Financial Therapy?!

In this episode, we talk about:

• When Lindsay first heard women come into her office and say “I wish I didn’t have this pressure” or “I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I wish my husband made more than me.”
• Some of the challenges Lindsay sees in these types of relationships
• The common discounting and downplaying behavior that breadwinning women have
• See-saw earners—couples who contribute somewhat equally financially
• Why Lindsay recommends couples pool their money into one bank account
• Identifying the non-monetary assets you bring to the relationship

#ConfidentCouples Challenge:

Do Lindsay’s example exercise (fast forward to 12:30)!

• What do I need to believe in order that we are equitable partners in our relationship?
• What would need to happen in order for our relationship to feel equitable?

Mentioned in this episode:

• Our first episode with Lindsay: 050: What is Financial Therapy?!
• The Shopping Budget (similar to the monthly cash Lindsay and her husband allocate): 005: The Shopping Budget – Spend $ Without Judgement
• Lindsay’s group couples coaching program: Boundless

Let’s connect! Follow us at @budandsara on Instagram and send us a message with any questions about this episode.