007 | Phoenix Suns and the Spirit of Self-Sabotage

Explicit content warning

04/22/25 • 51 min

What do Suns owner Mat Ishbia, Elon Musk, and American Water Works have in common (besides being billionaires)? Self-sabotage.

From luxury tax flameouts to the planned demolition of local landmarks, this episode tours the many ways power mismanages potential—and the regular folks who pay the price.

Ryan kicks things off with an early COVID-era flashback that crashes into Jersey’s reemerging lanternfly infestation. Brandon drags us into the impending implosion of the Union Lollipop (aka “The World’s Tallest Water Sphere”)... and things only spiral from there:

🧠 Why helping people in Arizona might get you robbed
🐘 Lucy the Elephant vs. Elon Musk’s federal defund energy
🚇 Necrophilia on the NYC subway (yes, really)
🏢 A $3.8B designer jail in Chinatown
🗽 Reminder: The Statue of Liberty is in New Jersey—deal with it
🎙️ Stephen A. Smith 2028 (Brandon says no. Ryan says “send it.”)

And then Ryan drops a handful of monologues—including one of the rawest closers we’ve had yet.

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 – Cold Open
01:15 – Revenge of the Lanternflies
02:25 – Farewell to the Union Lollipop
05:52 – Billionaire Breeder vs. Lucy the Elephant
10:01 – Helicopter Tragedy on the Hudson... or NYC?
12:06 – Morbidness on the Subway is a Common Motif (Viewer Discretion Advised)
16:35 – NYC’s First Designer Prison
18:28 – What About Rikers?
19:42 – Mayor Meme Mourns Many
20:35 – Minimal Grift MomentTM
21:04 – Non-Revisionist WAHIs Segment
23:30 – Triple C Gets Double-Crossed by Subtypical Phoenix Goofy
25:59 – The Phoenix Buns Postseason Begins
29:33 – How the 2021 Finals Loss Inspired a Romantic Getaway
31:06 – Chris Paul’s PR Arc
33:19 – WHO Will Be the Next Suns Head Coach?
37:46 – Pistons Getting Pissy With Knicks Fans
39:15 – Purple Politics
41:43 – Errors & Omissions
42:35 – Stephen A. Smith 2028
44:15 – Weekly Anti-Transformational Coach Pep Talk
45:28 – Viewer Comments (TW: Self-harm)
50:10 – Wrap-Up & Final Wisdoms

It’s satire with scars. Absurdity with insight.
From the concrete.
Cactus.

Twitter | Instagram | TikTok | Snapchat: @concacpodcast
Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more unfiltered takes and hilarious banter!

Send us a text

What do Suns owner Mat Ishbia, Elon Musk, and American Water Works have in common (besides being billionaires)? Self-sabotage.

From luxury tax flameouts to the planned demolition of local landmarks, this episode tours the many ways power mismanages potential—and the regular folks who pay the price.

And then Ryan drops a handful of monologues—including one of the rawest closers we’ve had yet.

It’s satire with scars. Absurdity with insight.
From the concrete.
Cactus.

Twitter | Instagram | TikTok | Snapchat: @concacpodcast
Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more unfiltered takes and hilarious banter!

Previous Episode

006 | yankees using TORPEDO BATS?!

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006 | Torpedo bats. OMNY & TAPP to-pay systems. Drunk mayors. You can’t make this up—but Concrete Cactus can break it down.
🧨 The Bronx Bombers are back—but this time, they brought missiles. Is it innovation... or war crimes at the plate? We—and by ‘we,’ we mean just Brandon—give the Yankees’ torpedo bat conspiracy a fresh pair of legs.
Also in this episode:
– We drive you into “God’s country”—and all its pothole-filled glory.
– Fresh off going independent, Mayor Eric Adams advocates for his initiative dubbed ‘Cop City.’
– Arizona’s Stolen Valor law stalls—after a real veteran blocks it to protect a fake one. Only in the desert, baby.
– The Giants’ QB room becomes a heavenly Oreo: two devout saints on the outside and a wiseguy in the middle.
All that—plus some soul-searching sandwiched between the nonsense.
It’s deep. It’s regional. It's “Lightweight Hilarious”. It’s Cactus.

00:08 – MetroCard Farewell Tour Begins

01:42 – Torpedo Bats: Bronx Bombers Playing War Games?

03:26 – Ranking the States Ryan Hates Most (Spoiler: Florida Still #1)

04:30 – AZ vs NJ House Party Showdown

05:47 – Potholes, Sinkholes & Federally Funded Glory Holes 🕳️ (VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED)

07:07 – Transit Secretary Talking Dirty... About the Wrong City (VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED)

08:59 – March Madness Returns to Newark 🏀

09:48 – Giants QB Room Went Black

12:34 – First All-Black QB Division (And White Cornerbacks Just Watching)

13:06 – Stephen A. Smith vs LeBron (Now with Windhorst Catching Strays)

16:04 – NJ Mayor Arrested for DUI With Her Kid in the Car

17:48 – Arizona’s Stolen Valor Bill Gets Stalled by... a Real Vet?

19:34 – Cop City: Mayor Eric Adams’ Police Playground

21:12 – Errors (and an Omission)

24:27 – How to Stand Up a Video Podcast (In 3 Months or Less): A Case Study

25:50 – Wrap-Up: Stay Skeptical, Stay Warm 🌵

Twitter | Instagram | TikTok | Snapchat: @concacpodcast
Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more unfiltered takes and hilarious banter!

Next Episode

Give Us 33 Minutes, and You’ll Understand Why This Podcast Had to Happen

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Five months ago, Concrete Cactus started as a dry run. A side quest. A way to speak honestly without breaking under the pressure. What it’s become is still evolving—but this episode? It’s the closest we’ve come to hitting what we set out to build: fire meets reflection.

We don’t just recap headlines here—we reckon with them. From wildfires in Jersey to an autistic child navigating Arizona’s broken care system. From subway chaos in NYC to establishing Jameis Winston’s true calling as the Giants’ Team Chaplain. And yes—Brandon finally gets to neo-glaze Shedeur Sanders.

This episode touches the raw edges of what it means to advocate, endure, and show up when the world doesn’t make it easy.

In this episode:

Media bias, ego, and why people stop speaking up
The systems that fail people long before anyone notices
A quiet moment that reframes whether you’ve been misunderstood—or undiagnosed

Somewhere after the 33-minute mark, the curtain drops—and the why behind this podcast starts speaking for itself.

If you’ve ever had to stay strong because no one else could...
If you’ve ever been the one who keeps it together while unraveling underneath...
If you’ve ever felt invisible until you broke—

Give us 33 minutes. You’ll understand.

⚠️ This episode includes a brief reference to suicidal ideation. If you're struggling, please reach out. Seek medical attention. If not,Call or text 988 (U.S. Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).

Twitter | Instagram | TikTok | Snapchat: @concacpodcast
Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more unfiltered takes and hilarious banter!

Concrete Cactus - 007 | Phoenix Suns and the Spirit of Self-Sabotage

Transcript

SPEAKER_0400:00:00.130

This episode contains segments that may be unsuitable for some audiences. For your convenience, these segments have been identified in the timestamps within the description.

SPEAKER_0300:00:07.277

2020 is what, five years ago now?

SPEAKER_0300:00:11.541

That's crazy, half a decade since.

SPEAKER_0400:00:13.625

Interesting time to be alive.